


Free To Be 'Us'

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Time, Genderswap, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-02
Updated: 2014-10-16
Packaged: 2018-09-03 15:23:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 66,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8718976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Something goes wrong during a hunt and Sam gets cursed by a witch and turned into a girl. He has to go through a number of things from having his period to dealing with his new 'virgin' status. Trouble is Sam makes a really ‘hot’ chick and everyone seems to notice…including Dean!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

All the victims found were males and as Sam plainly put it, they were all ‘dicks’. They were well-known for being chauvinist pigs and ill-treating women, and he guessed it was only a matter of time till they pissed off the wrong person and got their just deserts. Not that Sam truly thought they deserved to be cut open and have their hearts ripped out, but they weren’t particularly ‘innocent’ either.

 

The way their bodies had been found clearly showed that they were being targeted by some supernatural force and that meant that he and his brother had to stop it. Not that his brother was thrilled about it either, but he agreed, they had to save those people.

 

After some research, Sam was sure some coven was involved in the killings. They were highly ritualized and followed an extremely specific pattern. Of course, the police was at a loss with the case and had no clue what was going on as most of the likely suspects had alibis, so the officers were beginning to lose all hopes at solving the case, but Sam and his brother knew better.

 

Sam read the police files for the tenth time and arrived at the same conclusion: apparently, one of these men had messed with a witch, or witches, and drawn their attention to ‘his kind’. And it seemed that the ‘ladies’ had made it their mission to rid the world of such men and, perhaps, offer them in sacrifice to whatever deity they worshipped.

 

They spent the rest of the day searching for evidence of supernatural rituals and activity and right when they thought it was a dead end, they heard about some old woods out of town where nobody ventured going…much less alone.

 

They drove there straightaway and as soon as they got out of the Impala, they saw different sets of footprints going inside and outside the woods. None of the brothers enjoyed walking into such places –it often meant putting themselves in the way of some nasty creature, or offering themselves as lunch– but they knew it had to be done. So, they both took a deep breath and began searching the area.

 

They scanned the place for hours and when they were about to give up and leave, they found a large stone with a slab on top. They approached it carefully, making sure there was no one around and examined it closely. They immediately realized it was an altar: there were a number of symbols engraved on all sides of the stone and something that resembled dried blood. 

 

They continued looking around and saw that there were fresh footprints around the altar and several dried leaves and torn clothes scattered nearby. 

 

“Hey, Dean, ever seen these symbols before?”

 

“Nope, geek boy, you?”

 

“No.”

 

They’d seen a number of symbols and dealt with witches more than once but they had no idea what those inscriptions meant. So, Sam took out his notepad and copied them.

 

They checked the surroundings one more time and seeing that there was nobody around and no more information to be gathered, they walked back to the Impala and left. 

 

Sam busied himself researching the meaning of the symbols as soon as they got to their motel room, but he couldn’t find a thing. He thought about it and knew there were only two possibilities: a) it was just a bunch of stupid people who had no clue what they were doing and were just doing it for fun; or b) it was some serious stuff, therefore, well-hidden so that only few people could have access to it. Sam pondered both possibilities and deep down knew it was most probably the latter. 

 

He was lost in his own thoughts when his brother asked “hey, did you check the moon phases?”

 

“Yeah, I did, but the killings took place during the full moon, new moon, crescent moon…looks like there’s no connection.”

 

“Lemme see the dates again.”

 

Dean looked at the exact dates of the killings and compared them against the lunar phase calendar he had beside him and, after a few seconds, he grinned triumphantly “check this out: all the bodies were found the day ‘after’ a moon phase started.”

 

Sam looked at the dates and the calendar and realized his brother was right, and also that according to the pattern the next killing was supposed to happen that very night. They didn’t know what they were dealing with yet and they didn’t like going blind against whatever, or whoever, it was that was murdering those men, but they knew they had to do something. Therefore, they got as much ammo and weapons as they could and headed back to the woods.

 

They arrived there a few minutes before midnight. New moon in the sky meaning a pitch black night and Dean cursed because that would only make things harder for them. They noticed that there were several cars parked near the woods and wondered what exactly was going on. Only one thing was clear: people were involved in whatever was happening, and that was ‘never’ a good thing. 

 

“Man, you know, monsters I get, people are just crazy! I mean who in their sane mind would be out here in a cold, dark night?”

 

“Erm, witches?” Sam replied smirking.

 

“Yeah, whatever. Man, I just ‘hate’ witches!”

 

They both got hold of their guns and drew a duffel bag containing hex bags and anything that might come in handy before entering the woods. They knew they had to be careful and quiet since they didn’t want anyone to notice their presence so they put their flashlights away and headed straight to the altar.

 

After a thirty minute walk in the dark trying hard not to trip over tree roots or rocks, they finally got to the exact spot where some sort of ritual was being performed. They hid behind a tree and quietly put the bag on the ground, observing what was happening around the altar, where a man was being stripped off his clothes by a young woman who was already naked.

 

“That’s hot!” Dean whispered.

 

“Dean, focus!”

 

“Yeah, sorry…but she’s hot!” he replied smirking.

 

Sam pointed at the altar and frowned, urging his brother to keep his libido on check and focus on the task at hand. 

 

The man didn’t seem to be disturbed at all. He seemed pretty content actually. He was lying on his back on the altar while the naked form of a young female straddled him and kissed him fiercely. “Yeah, that’s hot,” Sam admitted to himself, but then noticed the women in robes slowly circling the couple on the altar. They were dressed in black and chanting some kind of incantation. The brothers locked gazes knowing something nasty was going to happen any time soon so they began moving stealthily towards the altar. 

 

The man lying on it seemed totally oblivious of everything around him. He was fully concentrated on the girl on top of him, who was staring at him and undulating her body in a highly erotic way. The man had a goofy look on his face almost as if he couldn’t believe this gorgeous girl was all hot and bothered because of him and Dean couldn’t help feeling sorry for the poor bastard, the guy was surely facing his last minutes on this earth and he had no freaking clue. The girl was hot, though.

 

Suddenly, the women in robes closed the circle around the altar holding hands and chanting louder while one of them, apparently their high priestess, drew a dagger from her sleeve and held it high in the air aiming for the man’s heart.

 

The brothers reacted immediately and Dean shot her hand, the woman dropping the dagger instantly while Sam headed towards the altar. The thundering blast of the weapon immediately drew the group’s attention to them both and they made a run for the man on the altar trying to set him free before the witches killed him.

 

The women gave a murderous look at the brothers while some of them tried to get hold of the dagger and finish their ritual. The sacrificial victim wasn’t reacting to all the noise and screaming around him and the brothers guessed he was drugged, which was good because they could just drop him off at the nearest ER and he wouldn’t remember a thing –therefore, no questions asked. However, that also meant the guy was too far gone to be of any help getting out of there and they would have to carry his naked ass all the way out of the woods…just ‘peachy’!

 

Dean kept shooting the witches as they threw themselves at him with blades in their hands. He had no idea where the knives had come from but he wasn’t that interested either. The only thing in his mind was saving the jerk on the altar and getting the hell out of there.

 

Sam fought his way towards the man and saw that the naked girl had managed to retrieve the dagger from under the priestess’ body, which was contorting in pain on the ground, and was reading herself to stab the man in the chest. Luckily, Sam had ridiculously long legs and in a few long strides, he was standing next to the girl and taking the dagger from her hands, thus preventing her from stabbing the man.

 

She was rather small but that didn’t seem to matter. She turned around and looked at him in the eye raging mad. Sam was a very large man, but the look in her eyes was really scary. Yet, he’d seen plenty in his life and wasn’t going to let himself be scared by a naked woman. Wow, that hadn’t come out right! And there was no way he’d ever let his brother know about it…that would give him ammo to mock him…pretty much forever!

 

So, he did the only thing that came to mind: punched her right on the face. He didn’t feel well about it: you don’t hit girls! However, considering that she looked pretty crazy and only God knew what she was about to do, it wasn’t such a bad idea at the time. 

 

His blow made the girl lose her step and fall backwards on the altar. Sam held the dagger in his right hand and got ready for whatever she was planning on doing next. Except that her eyes turning an angry red and her nails growing longer and sharper till they became claws was something he’d never expected.

 

Sam had no clue what was going on and Dean was way too busy wasting the witches that were attacking him to be of any assistance at the moment so Sam took a deep breath and lunged towards the girl –or whatever she was.

 

They both ended up on the ground struggling for the dagger. The girl used her claws quite efficiently, tearing the front of his jacket and shirt to pieces and scratching his face before Sam finally managed to stab her in the heart. As soon as he drew the dagger in, she gave a terrifying shriek and shook out of control. 

 

Sam got up and stepped away from her staring at her contorting body. Suddenly, all her movements ceased and he let go of the breath he’d been holding thinking it was over. And just as suddenly as her movements had ceased, she opened her eyes wide, got hold of Sam’s ankle digging her claws into it and breaking the skin in the process, and uttered a few words in a language Sam had never heard before, and then she remained very still, the red gone from eyes. 

 

Sam was still breathing heavily when he heard his brother calling his name from the opposite side of the altar.

 

“Hey, Sammy, you okay?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s just get out of here before someone shows up.”

 

“C’mon, dude, we’re in the middle of nowhere, I don’t think the police will show up any time soon.”

 

Sam nodded in agreement and they both carried the semi-conscious, naked man out of the woods. Dean cursed all the way, repeatedly stating he’d rather die than have to carry a naked guy ever again. Sam just laughed and mocked his brother endlessly.

 

Once they were out of the woods, they checked the guy and discovered there was nothing wrong with him, he was just…high. So, they threw him in the backseat of the Impala and drove straight to the nearest ER. They left him at the door and drove away as fast as they could knowing that he wouldn’t remember anything and that they had to leave town fast –there was a bunch of dead bodies in the woods and they didn’t want to run the risk of being connected to them. So, they headed back to the motel in order to pack and leave Somerton asap.

 

Sam was drowsy and stretching his body and Dean immediately noticed the black bags under his brother’s eyes. Dean’s eyes left the road and shifted towards Sam several times, worried for his brother. His jacket and shirt were shred to pieces and there was dried blood all over them. Sam had said several times that he was okay, that they were just a couple of scratches and that most of blood was the girl’s, but Dean wanted to get to their motel soon so that he could check his wounds and make sure his brother was fine.

 

“Hey, Sam, you okay?”

 

“Yeah, Dean, just tired. Told you earlier it was nothing, just scratches…it’s not ‘my’ blood, ok?”

 

“Ok, that’s our room. Let’s go inside so you can get some fresh clothes,” Dean said and then thought “and maybe I can take a look at those ‘scratches’ before we leave.”

 

Dean gave his brother the key to their room and asked him to go inside while he carried the duffel bag. Sam wasn’t surprised his brother was carrying the bag for him. He was being over-protective and Sam knew that when Dean acted like this, it was much easier to humor him.

 

So, he stepped inside their room, took off his jacked and shirt –well, what was left of them– and said “See, Dean? Just a couple of scratches…there’s nothing wrong with me…I’m just tired, ok?”

 

Dean quickly studied the wounds and realized his brother was right. His chest and right side of his face were covered in scratches and bruises but other than that, he seemed fine. And then, he noticed the blood in his ankle.

 

“What about that?” Dean asked pointing at the bloodied jeans and boot.

 

Sam looked down and explained what had happened with the possessed girl. Of course, his brother insisted on taking a closer look at it and Sam complied. He wasn’t in the mood for a fight so for once in his life he thought it better to do as he was told. After all, the faster they got over it, the faster they’d leave.

 

Dean examined his ankle carefully. Again, the cuts weren’t particularly deep, they wouldn’t even need any stitches and Dean finally seemed to calm down.

 

“So, do you believe me now? I’m fine, Dean, just tired.”

 

They were both exhausted and in serious need of a rest, but Dean knew he had to put as much distance as possible between Somerton and them. So, he checked out while Sam put their bags in the trunk, and joined him a few minutes later, only to find his brother on the passenger’s seat, slowly falling asleep. Dean sat behind the wheel and turned on the ignition with only two thoughts in his mind: find a motel so they could both get some sleep, and get the hell out of Somerton…real fast.


	2. Chapter 2

  
Author's notes: Hi, guys! Thx a lot for the reviews and ratings! They really encourage me to go on writing. :-)  
Here's the 2nd chapter of my fic. Hope you like it as much as the 1st one.  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  


* * *

Dean just kept driving and driving while Sam dozed on the passenger’s seat. His brother didn’t look good despite saying he was okay…repeatedly. So, Dean stepped on the gas and when he noticed that Somerton was at least a hundred miles away, he focused on finding a motel. Apparently, someone upstairs liked him because he saw a sign on his left saying “Red Flag Motel” a couple of minutes later. He made a u-turn and quickly checked them in. Sam remained asleep in the car and didn’t wake up until Dean shook his arm. 

 

Sam had assured his brother several times that he was feeling fine but he actually wasn’t. His head was pounding and he felt it was going to explode any minute. Of course, he didn’t say a word since he didn’t want his big bro to go all mother-hen around him, and guessed a cool shower and some painkillers would do the trick.

 

So, as soon as he stepped inside their room, he headed straight for the bathroom. Luckily, Dean didn’t protest. After all, he wasn’t stupid. That bitch at the altar had beaten the crap out of Sam before he managed to stab her in the heart, and he guessed Sam needed a shower to ease his aching muscles. So, he sat down on the bed surfing channels waiting for his turn in the shower.

 

Sam stepped in the tub and let the water run down his tense muscles. He didn’t even check if there was any hot water, his body was feeling feverish and he was truly thankful for the cooling effect of the shower. He enjoyed the soothing water and let his head and hands rest on the cracked tiles. 

 

He closed his eyes and took deep breaths as the pain slowly began to subside. He was almost smiling gratefully because his head had stopped pounding and then, all of a sudden, a blinding pain hit him in the middle.

 

He held his mouth and stomach thinking he was going to throw up and then, just as suddenly as it’d come, the pain was gone. He straightened up trying to get his breath back and a few seconds later the pain was back except that this time it had grown in intensity and was quickly spreading all over him. Sam tried to call his brother for help but he couldn’t utter a word and when he stepped out of the tub and tried to make his way to the door, he felt his head spinning before everything went black.

 

Dean was tired, which was not surprising considering that he’d spent the night fighting witches and driving, and at some point he fell asleep. When he woke up, it was almost 5 a.m. He rubbed his eyes adjusting them to the dim light coming from the television and noticed that Sam’s bed hadn’t been slept in and that water was still running in the bathroom. His instincts clicked in immediately and in no time he was in the bathroom standing next to Sam, who was lying on the floor shaking uncontrollably and semi-conscious.

 

Dean felt panic threatening to take over but he kept it together and somehow managed to lift his gigantic brother and carry him to the bed. Dean hated the whole situation but was thankful for the sudden rash of adrenaline –there was no way he would have managed to carry an unconscious Sam otherwise!

 

Dean checked his brother again and confirmed that there were no major injuries, just bruises and shallow cuts. However, what worried him the most was that Sam was still shaking and barely conscious.

 

“Hey, Sammy, you hear me?” he asked slightly slapping Sam’s face.

 

Sam opened his eyes for a second and managed to say “hurts…everywhere…cold…so cold” before closing them again.

 

Dean immediately threw the covers over him and tucked him in, but Sam kept shaking and clattering his teeth so Dean removed the comforter from his bed, covered his brother with it, and curled around him while he rubbed his arms and chest with his hands.

 

Sam was clearly exhausted. He’d been shaking for what Dean guessed was now hours and that had drained all his energy. He was now lying complete unaware of his surroundings, soft sobs and whimpers coming from him.

 

Dean thought he was going to lose it any minute. He had no clue what was wrong with Sam, what had caused this, and made a mental note about calling Bobby, but not before he succeeded in making Sam warm again since he didn’t want to run the risk of his brother suffering hypothermia –the kid had been almost stone cold when he found his naked body lying on the bathroom floor.

 

So, Dean kept holding Sam close to him, whispering reassuring words in his ear and doing his best to help him warm up. Finally, after several hours, exhaustion took over and the shaking ceased. Sam fell asleep and soon after Dean followed.

 

When Dean woke up, it was already late in the afternoon. He noticed that Sam was sleeping soundly under the covers. He paid closer attention and heard his steady breath. He felt relieved immediately and guessed the whole thing was over –or at least the worst part of it. So, he stood up and stretched his limbs. 

 

He was wearing the same clothes he’d worn during the hunt and they weren’t particularly clean: the dirt and blood had dried and left a funny pattern on his jeans and shirt. He really needed a change of clothes and a hot shower to ease the tension in his muscles.

 

So, he looked at Sam one more time and since he seemed to be okay, he walked into the bathroom. A couple of minutes later, Dean came out feeling much better. He got dressed and realized Sam had kicked the comforter off the bed. He smiled realizing that his brother was feeling better.

 

He wondered if he should leave Sam alone while he went to get some food or maybe wake him up and make sure he was 'actually' feeling better…or maybe, he could just wait till he woke up on his own. After all, the kid had had a hell of a night and was sleeping peacefully –finally. 

 

Dean thought it better to wait and let Sam sleep some more but his stomach was of a different opinion and started growling. Okay, he was starving, he –they actually– hadn’t eaten in almost 24 hours and, on second thought, Sam was warm and sleeping peacefully and he guessed he could buy the food and be back in ten. Dean kept pondering a thousand different scenarios and finally decided he could leave his brother unattended for a couple of minutes.

 

Dean rushed to the diner across the street and came back in no time with two orders of fries, burgers and beer…and tons of onion rings for his brother. He entered the room and saw that it was dark, just like he’d left it and that Sam was still asleep. So, he placed the bags on the table near the window, drew the drapes open and gently shook Sam’s arm.

 

“Hey, Sammy, c’mon, wake up. You gotta eat something,” he said shaking his brother’s arm once again but a bit more forcefully this time.

 

Sam stirred and moved slightly under the covers and let go of a deep sigh but he was clearly not one bit interested in getting out of bed. Dean smiled confirming his suspicions: Sam was definitely feeling better, and the shakes had most probably been some side effect of the stupid ritual they’d interrupted. That was all. Nothing to worry about. And he let go of a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.

 

Dean tried to remove the covers but Sam had a death grip on them and was softly complaining so he placed his hand on top of Sam’s head and ruffled his hair. He immediately noticed that something was not quite right. Sam’s hair didn’t move the way it always did when he ran his fingers through it and then heard Sam shouting at him “Dean!!!” clearly annoyed but also awkwardly high-pitched.

 

It seemed that Sam noticed that something was wrong too because he went unusually quiet. They both remained silent for a few seconds and then Dean saw the covers moving and Sam sitting. However, Dean wasn’t met by the figure of his gigantic brother, instead it was a girl.

 

Dean was totally confused: what was this chick doing here? She had a sweet-looking face, insanely long hair, and the peep he could take at her cleavage was highly satisfying: she was busty and best of all…they were real! There wasn’t that much he could actually see because most of her body was under the covers…and her freakishly long hair –boobs included, damn it! However, the little he saw in those few seconds looked just fine…to tell the truth, it looked ‘more’ than fine to him.

 

Dean forced his eyes, which so far had been rather busy staring at her rack, to shift to her face, and saw the girl was clearly scared. Her lips were parted, almost trembling, and her eyes were filled with terror and shock. Dean immediately realized she wasn’t a threat and wondered where she’d come from and more importantly where his brother was, but then remembered there was a terrified girl before him and his protective nature kicked in. 

 

He tried to help her calm down and spoke reassuringly “It’s ok, sweetheart, there’s no reason to be afraid” still wondering where the hell his brother was and mentally cursing him for putting him in this position. However, he knew he had to deal with this girl first. He locked gazes with her, his eyes meeting those sweet hazel eyes, that puppy-dog look in them, and it all finally sank in “Oh, shit!” he said, and then he added “Sam?”

 

At this point, Sam was already breathing so fast that he was almost hyperventilating. Dean was just as shocked and freaked out as his brother but knew that he had to keep it together for Sam’s sake and finally managed to ask “Hey, Sammy, you okay?”

 

On hearing those words, Sam lost it “Are you fucking kidding me???!!!” and then “Does ‘this’ look ‘okay’ to you, Dean?” he asked, cupping his bare breasts. 

 

Dean smirked and replied “Geez, I don’t know, Sam, looks pretty good to me!”

 

“Oh, you’re such a pig!” Sam answered pulling up the sheets to cover himself.

 

“Sorry, just kidding!”

 

“Well, it’s not funny, Dean, at all! I don’t think you’d be kidding if this happened to ‘you’, if 'you' had breasts…oh, God, I have ‘breasts’…wait!” and then Sam moved his hand down and started touching between his legs where his penis was supposed to be except that it was gone.

 

Dean saw the panic in his brother’s eyes and then heard him saying “Oh, God, my ‘dick’ is gone!”

 

Alright, that was a really ‘really’ bad thing to happen to a guy, to ‘any’ guy, so Dean resorted to his most soothing voice and said “well, Sammy, it figures, you turned into a girl so you have girl parts now” offering him a sympathetic smile.

 

Sam wasn’t particularly thrilled to hear that, the reality of the situation slowly sinking in and his brother didn’t fail to see it. “It’s gonna be alright, Sam, we’ll figure it out and we’ll turn you back, ok? Now, tell me: are you feeling okay?”

 

“Gonna be alright? Am I okay? I’m fucking not okay! I’m a fucking girl, Dean!!!” Sam echoed his words exasperated.

 

“C’mon, man, meet me half way here.”

 

“Meet you half way? How, huh? I’m a ‘fucking girl’!”

 

“Damn it, Sam, I know you’re freaking out, I get that. But last night I found you lying on the bathroom floor, naked, and passed out. I couldn’t get you warmed up and you wouldn’t stop shaking!” Dean retorted looking seriously pissed. “So, stop bitching and tell me: do.you.feel.okay?” 

 

Sam looked down a little embarrassed for his reaction and regretting the way he’d taken it all out on Dean and replied hesitantly “Yeah…I think I’m fine.” 

 

“You ‘think’ or you ‘are’?”

 

Sam frowned thinking hard for a little while assessing his condition and then said “I ‘am’,” slowly beginning to calm down.

 

“Good, that’s good, all we gotta do now is find out how this happened. Think, Sam, what did you do when we ganked those witches? What happened exactly?”

 

Sam took deep breaths, closed his eyes focusing on the previous night and trying to remember every single detail. “I saw the guy on the altar so I went towards him to help him ‘coz the naked girl was gonna stab him after you shot the old hag. I started fighting with her while you dealt with the rest of the coven and…”

 

“Yeah, you’re doing great, and then what?”

 

“Erm…we ended up on the floor…her eyes were red, and she had claws, I don’t think she was human…and then we fought for the dagger but I managed to take it from her and stab her in the heart with it. You were shooting the witches, I could hear you…and the naked girl seemed dead so I stood up and…”

 

“Hang on a sec, she ‘seemed dead’?”

 

“Yeah, I stood up and took a step away from her ‘coz I wanted to check on the guy but then she…oh, shit!”

 

“What, Sammy, what?” 

 

“I thought she was dead, she was really still and she wasn’t breathing…but then she opened her eyes, dug her claws in my ankle and…chanted something.”

 

“Ok, so do you remember the words? Any of it?”

 

Sam answered “no,” looking defeated and terrified “I’d never heard anything like that before, it wasn’t Latin or any language I’ve ever heard of.”

 

“Ok, let’s not freak out. Let’s grab a bite first and then we’ll start doing some research to undo this thing. You’ve still got the symbols and carvings on the altar, right?”

 

“Yeah, they’re on a piece of paper inside Dad’s journal.”

 

“Great, we’ll start with that.”

 

Sam nodded and felt thankful because at least one them was keeping it together and thinking clearly.

 

Dean approached the table and got the food out of the bag and seeing that Sam wasn’t moving he said “hey, aren’t you hungry? C’mon, dude, you gotta eat! I got burgers, fries…and an extra order of onion rings!” winking and flashing him a wide smile.

 

“Yeah…erm…can you give me a shirt or something?” Sam requested blushing all shades of red.

 

“Yeah, right! Listen, I’ll just go to the bathroom so you can get dressed, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

Dean stepped inside the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Alright, now that he was alone, he could drop the act and stop pretending everything was just ‘peachy’. He paced the tiny bathroom breathing raggedly wondering how the hell they were going to fix this. He noticed that his steps were getting louder and louder and there was no need to have Sam full-on panic mode again so he stood before the sink, letting his hands rest on it, and looked at his reflection on the mirror. However, he didn’t like what he saw: chest heaving, eyes wide open, trembling lips…panic written all over him.

 

He knew he couldn’t let his brother see him like this so he took a few more breaths, washed his face, and adopted his usual devil-may-care attitude. Then, he noticed several minutes had passed and guessed Sam should be dressed by now. He leaned on the door and spoke loudly “hey, Sammy, are you decent?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Dean opened the door and stepped outside the bathroom to find Sam standing on the opposite side of the room, clearly uncomfortable, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, head down, eyes focused on the ratty carpet as if it was the most fascinating thing he’d ever seen.

 

Dean looked up and down at this girl standing there trying to find some traces of his brother. Sam had lost a lot of weight and at least 9 inches in height. He –‘she’?– was still pretty tall for a girl but his female version was 'way' smaller, therefore, the shirt he was wearing swamped him. It was so large for his new form that he’d had to roll the sleeves all the way up to where his elbows used to be, and Dean guessed that if Sam wore a belt, the shirt would easily pass as a dress. And then, there was the hair. It was the same shade of brown and just as wavy, but it was so long, waist long, actually. Dean saw Sam growing increasingly uncomfortable and thought it better to stop staring. 

 

“Good, you’re dressed now…let’s eat, okay? I’m starving!” he said trying to sound casual.

 

Sam just nodded in response and sat at the table. They both ate their meal quietly. It was obvious that they were both too freaked out and trying to process everything that had happened and not ready to talk about it yet. Not that they thought it necessary. They just had to find the way to turn Sam back and things would go back to normal…at least they hoped so.


	3. Chapter 3

  
Author's notes: Hi, guys! Thank you so much for all the reviews and ratings! I'm so glad you're enjoying my fic! I hope you like this new chapter, too.  
Please keep reviewing and rating...it's my crack! ;-)  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  


* * *

The brothers did a lot of research trying to find out a way to undo the curse, spell, or whatever the hell it was. Dean drove back to Somerton to take one last look at the altar and maybe find something they’d missed. However, he wasn’t lucky: the place was deserted and it was clear nobody had been there since their encounter with the witches except the police.

 

Dean looked around and saw some yellow tape marking the crime scene along with some white tags showing where the witches’ dead bodies had been. He was glad the corpses were no longer there as he wasn’t particularly allured by the sight –or the smell– of rotting flesh. Besides, it was good that everyone in the coven was now dead because that meant no more men would be murdered, but it was bad too because what if they’d killed Sam’s only chance of turning back? Dean brushed off those thoughts immediately. Now was not the time for negative ideas. They were going to find answers, they were going to fix this mess.

 

Dean checked the place one last time and got out of the woods as fast as he could since he didn’t want to run into the police or some curious jerk. So, he took a few more pictures of the symbols on the altar with his phone and left.

 

When he got back to the motel, he found Sam sitting at the table, frantically surfing the web looking for answers. He recognized his brother in the expression on the girl’s face: eyebrows brought together and teeth chewing on lower lip, which could only mean Sam was focused on something and trying to figure it out. It was so ‘Sammy’ except that this time, this ‘girlSam’, looked totally cute and adorable. Dean let his eyes study the girl before him, and they carefully and slowly went down her body. 

 

The shirt was way too big and hid the curves that Dean guessed were there, but the legs were visible: shapely, strong limbs covered by smooth skin. Dean thought “I’d ‘so’ hit that” and immediately realized that this was ‘his brother’ he was looking at, his baby brother, and mentally cursed.

 

Sam’s eyes left the screen and shifted towards Dean “So? Find anything?”

 

Dean shook his head and asked “you?”

 

“No,” sounding frustrated.

 

“Maybe we should call Bobby?”

 

At first, Sam refused emphatically. Dean could see right through him and realized he was being stubborn out of sheer embarrassment so, after some coaxing and a number of arguments following the line of “Fine, then stay this way, Sam, you’ve always been a girl after all,” Sam reluctantly agreed.

 

Dean called Bobby immediately, not giving his brother any time to get cold feet, and gave him all the details. He secretly hoped that Bobby would be able to help. However, the old hunter had never heard of anything like that in his life and promised to look into it.

 

Several days had passed since Sam’s change and he hadn’t left their motel room, not even once, and he was becoming increasingly annoying. Dean didn’t blame him for feeling like a caged animal, and suggested going to the diner to grab a bite.

 

“Seriously, Dean? And what am I supposed to wear? In case you haven’t noticed my clothes are huge right now!” 

 

Dean looked at Sam and got his point. His brother had a shirt on and a pair of socks, and nothing else, since the rest of his garments were far too big for him now, especially his shoes.

 

“You could wear some of mine” he offered softly and then went on to explain “they’re smaller, they should fit better.”

 

“Even so, Dean,” Sam answered resting his hands on his slender hips “I lost a lot of height and weight…I’m at least 6 inches shorter than you now…your clothes would still be too big.”

 

Dean saw his brother’s watery eyes and pent up frustration and knew he had to do something. “Okay, I’ll get you some new clothes then.”

 

“No way!” Sam yelled and then, trying to stay calm he added “it’s silly. I’ll change back pretty soon…it’d be a waste of money…money that we don’t have.”

 

Dean could tell that his brother was freaking out, again. Not that he blamed him, after all, buying ‘girl’ clothes made this whole thing even more real and hinted the possibility that they might never fix it. Dean pushed those thoughts aside and seeing that Sam was breathing heavily and pacing the room, he decided to drop the subject.

 

Days went by and things were the same, Sam still refused to leave the room and Dean knew he had to do something…fast. So, the very next day he came back with lunch as usual and a plastic bag, which he dropped on Sam’s bed. His brother looked at him wondering what he was up to. They knew each other all too well and tricking the other was never an easy task.

 

Sam grabbed the bag and emptied its contents on the bed. The first thing he saw was a tiny black piece of fabric or so he thought until he examined it more closely. It turned out to be a tight short dress, which didn’t leave much to the imagination. Sam was wide-eyed and lost for words. He was just holding the dress before his eyes in total shock. 

 

“There’s something else in the bag” Dean added sounding casual.

 

Sam looked inside the bag again and found a tiny black thong.

 

“C’mon, try it on!”

 

Sam was astonished and finally managed to say “Are you kidding me?”

 

“What? You said it yourself, none of your or my clothes fit so I got you a little something.”

 

“Yeah, I can see the ‘little’, I just wonder where the ‘something’ is.”

 

“C’mon, Sammy, let’s see how that looks on you,” Dean said winking.

 

“You’re not expecting me to put ‘any’ of this on, are you?”

 

“Sure, why not?”

 

“For starters, clothes are supposed to cover the body…and besides, everybody’s gonna think I’m a hooker if I wear that.”

 

“Hey, don’t criticize my taste in womenswear, Sam, plus it’d be way easier if we just went to a store so you can get whatever you want.”

 

Sam was about to make a retort but he couldn’t think of anything. Dean had bought the sluttiest clothes he’d found, clearly in an attempt to make Sam leave the room and get some truly needed fresh air. Sam hated it, but deep down he knew his brother was right, he couldn’t stay put in their room forever. So, Sam reluctantly agreed to go shopping. 

 

“Fine, Dean, let’s go shopping…oh, God, I’m gonna have to buy ‘girl’ clothes!” 

 

“Don’t worry, Sammy, can’t be that bad…who knows? Maybe it turns out to be fun!”

 

“Fun for you, sleazy bastard, I’m sure you’re gonna be hitting on every single girl at the store while I suffer my way through the underwear section.” 

 

Sam couldn’t believe what he was saying. It was way beyond bizarre even for them. A smile immediately appeared on his face and soon he and his brother were both laughing, tension slowly disappearing, and felt grateful for it.

 

“Just give me a sec, I can’t go out on the street wearing this.”

 

Sam went through their duffel bags and examined the different items of clothing they owned. Finally, after a couple of minutes, he grabbed one of their ties and a blue shirt. He went into the bathroom and came out a few minutes later. He was wearing the tie as a belt, and had done his best at arranging the shirt so that it looked like a dress. Then, he sat on the bed, put some rolled socks inside a pair of Dean’s shoes and put them on. 

 

He stood up, brushed his hair off his face and took a look on the mirror trying to see if the outfit was passable. Unable to recognize his own reflection, Sam quickly looked away and said “Fine, let’s go.”

 

Dean had parked the car right outside their room so that Sam wouldn’t have to walk long and, above all, would have no time to freak out and run back inside. 

 

They got in the Impala, and Dean drove straight to a discount store he’d seen that morning –where he’d bought the dress. They walked inside and both looked uncomfortable. Sam wanted to get over it as soon as possible so he walked straight to the racks, grabbed some jeans, tops, tees, hoodies, socks and anything that might come in handy. There was no way he was going to do this again! However, he didn’t find any of the colors he normally wore and felt comfortable with: olive green, brown, grey. Instead, he saw lots of frilly stuff and tons of pink. ‘Pink’, for Christ’s sake! There was no way he was ‘ever’ going to wear ‘pink’ so he just settled for plain red, blue and black.

 

So far, he was doing fine, just fine, until he saw the underwear section. He stared at the dozen styles and sizes, and he was just…clueless. He’d gone shopping with Jess a couple of times, but he’d never worried about styles…or sizes. She’d just modeled things for him. Looking back, he wished he had paid more attention.

 

He hadn’t worried that much with the rest of the clothes, actually, he preferred anything loose, but he knew that he had to pick the right underwear size.

 

Dean, who’d been busy checking out the girls, noticed that Sam was standing in the underwear section frozen in fear and looking completely lost.

 

“What’s up, Sammy?”

 

“It’s, ‘Sam’, Dean.”

 

“Fine, ‘Sam’, what is it?”

 

“Erm…nothing…just…there’s lots of kinds and…sizes”

 

Dean wanted to mock his brother but knew that this wasn’t the right time. He’d do that later, once he’d turned back. So, he approached him and asked “Yeah, so what size do you think you are?”

 

“Erm, I don’t know, Dean, how am I supposed to know that?”

 

“Well, I could help you figure it out if you like” he replied lifting his hands as if about to cup Sam’s breasts.

 

“Dean!” Sam screamed outraged “Like I’m gonna let you feel me up! Dude, are you insane?”

 

Dean laughed at Sam’s outburst though the idea of putting his hands over his brother’s recently acquired breasts didn’t sound bad, at all, especially the way those perky breasts looked. Okay, now where had that come from? Dean quickly dismissed the idea and explained “just grab different things and see which ones fit better.”

 

That sounded logical and Sam agreed. He picked a couple of bras and panties and they both headed to the dressing rooms. Sam went in and closed the door behind him before removing his shirt and tie. There were large mirrors on all three walls around him, but he refused to look…he didn’t dare seeing his new body so he kept his head down, eyes fixed on the floor.

 

Sam got hold of the panties and put them on. They weren’t ‘thongs’ or anything like that, just regular bikini panties and he felt blissfully happy when he realized they fitted just right, and nicely surprised too because they were kinda comfy…no wonder Jess usually opted for them.

 

Feeling better with himself he decided to move on and put on the jeans. They felt a little bit tight for his taste but they weren’t that bad so they were a keeper. 

 

He now faced the worst part: bras. They weren’t something alien to him, he knew pretty well how to unclasp them with a single hand and remove them in no time, but putting the damn thing on was a whole different story.

 

He took a deep breath, just like when he was about to fight some creepy supernatural being, and picked one up. The moment he drew the cups closer to his breasts, he saw it was too big. He discarded it and tried on the second bra he had with him, which turned out to be too small. Finally, he grabbed the third –and last– bra and thank goodness it was the right size.

 

Sam put his arms into the strap loops and pulled the strap over his shoulders, then he held both ends of the bra tightly and pulled them around towards his back. The garment definitely fit and Sam felt somewhat relieved until he tried to hook the bra. He twisted his arms and back trying to hook the damn thing and failed miserably wondering how on earth women managed to put bras on effortlessly. “Must be some sort of secret passed down from mother to daughter” he thought as he struggled with the 'evil' garment.

 

Dean noticed his brother was taking too long “Sam, you okay in there?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

He clearly wasn’t, and it came across in his voice. So, his brother asked again “You sure?”

 

Sam remained silent too embarrassed to admit he was ‘just having trouble putting on a bra’ and completely aware of how wrong that would sound out loud. However, his brother seemed to guess what was going on because he leaned against the door and whispered “hey, need some help?” There was no mockery in his voice, it was an honest offer. 

 

Sam hesitated a little, but seeing that he couldn’t deal with this on his own, he finally whispered back “yeah, I could use a little help here.”

 

Dean looked around and once he was sure nobody was watching, he quickly joined Sam in the dressing room.

 

Sam was covering his upper body with a hoodie and looked so red in the face Dean thought he had a fever or something. 

 

“Okay, Sammy, how can I help?”

 

Sam was chewing on his lower lip and nervous as hell, and managed to explain the problem as calmly as he could.

 

“Oh,” Dean said thinking “little brother having trouble putting a bra on…never saw that one coming…not in a million years” and he quickly said “ok, just turn around and I’ll hook it for you,” doing his best to sound casual and confident. They’d dealt with tough things before, putting on a bra was no big deal, right?

 

Sam complied and Dean clasped the bra in a second. 

 

Trouble was, however, that with all the squirming and struggling, the bra wasn’t cupping Sam’s breasts properly anymore and Sam had to adjust it. He tried to do it with one hand while he held the hoodie with the other covering his front, but it turned out to be an impossible task and Sam couldn’t help dropping the hoodie.

 

Dean couldn’t believe his eyes, he was standing behind Sam, real close to him, watching this ‘girl’ touching her round perky breasts and he immediately felt a twitch in his pants.

 

Sam saw his brother’s eyes fixed on his full breasts and yelled “Dean! Stop staring and get the hell outta here!” blushing a vivid red.

 

“Yeah, sorry!” he replied smiling apologetically and immediately leaving Sam alone in the dressing room.

 

Once the bra was properly put in place, Sam put on a blue v-neck top that showed just a little cleavage –but more than Sam wanted– and stepped outside the dressing room. 

 

Dean was standing there with some socks and boots –no heels, of course. He’d seen a pair of stiletto boots earlier and had felt tempted to get them for Sam. He’d even imagined this brand new Sammy in those sexy thigh-high black leather boots with that short black dress he’d gotten for her –him?– in the morning, that soft wavy mane down and maybe some of that shiny lipstick girls always wore…he bet she’d look damn hot! 

 

His eyes were half-lidded and he had a goofy grin on his lips and on top of that, he was sighing…sighing for Heaven’s sakes! Of course, as soon as he became aware of the fact that he was actually fantasizing about ‘his brother’, he pushed those ideas to the farthest corner of his brain and promised he’d stop thinking about Sammy that way…curvy, sweet-smelling Sammy. Okay, clearly it wasn’t going to be that easy!

 

Sam took the boots and thanked him. He’d been so concerned, and embarrassed, with the whole underwear thing that he’d completely forgotten about shoes and was glad his brother had taken care of it. Luckily, the boots fit his now much smaller feet just fine and were actually comfortable. 

 

When he was done putting the boots on, Dean handed over some more clothes to him: a jacket and more underwear –the right size. His brother didn’t make any funny remarks or mock him in any way and Sam couldn’t thank him enough for that. He knew that eventually Dean would mock him for his ‘girl status’ endlessly, but at least he was saving it for later, once things were back to normal.

 

“Dean, don’t you think all this stuff is too much?”

 

“Nah, ‘sides, Mr. Carl Jones is paying for it,” he answered flashing a fake credit card.

 

They made their way to the counter, paid for the clothes, and left the shop. Sam was putting the bags in the backseat of the Impala when he caught Dean staring at a coffee shop across the street. Sam was still a little mad at his brother for ogling him in the dressing room, but then he wasn’t really ogling ‘him’, it was this girl’s body, and Dean being Dean, hadn’t come as a surprise. Besides, he could never stay mad at his brother for long.

 

He knew Dean was doing his best and really helping him out –and not freaking out like he was! So, he closed the door and said smiling “hey, how ‘bout some coffee and pie?” 

 

Dean flashed a grin from ear to ear and answered “you know I never say no to pie, Sammy!”

 

“Yeah, I know, Dean.” 

 

Sam walked in the coffee shop first and Dean’s eyes went straight to her butt out of their own volition. The jeans cupped her cheeks nicely and revealed a round firm ass, not too big, not too small, just ‘perfect’. Dean felt the urge to place both hands on that ass and give it his undivided attention but he immediately reminded himself that this was ‘Sam’, true in a girl’s body, but still ‘Sam’. So, he forced his eyes up and followed his brother inside the shop.

 

Sam sat at a table while his brother went to get them some coffee. Dean immediately saw the kid behind the counter staring at Sam with lecherous eyes and he was about to yell at him for ogling his recently-turned-into-his-sister brother when the kid said “Dude, your girlfriend’s hot!” Dean turned around and looked at Sam before replying “Yeah…two coffees and apple pie, and throw in some ice-cream.”

 

Dean paid for the food and took the tray to their table. He watched Sam happily eating the vanilla ice-cream and perfectly understood what the kid had seen: sweet, lovely face…and that amazing curvy body. The kid was right: Sam made a really hot chick! And Dean finally realized he’d have to be a freaking saint around his ‘sister’…and thought “Damn, I’m so screwed!”


	4. Chapter 4

  
Author's notes: Wow! Can't believe the read count...and the ratings...and the comments!!! Love 'em!!!!  
Hope you like this new chapter too!++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  


* * *

Sam had stopped freaking out and had been out a couple of times to buy some food –with Dean, of course, there was no way he was going to let her, ‘him!’, out of his sight– but so far that had been it. Sam was still ‘virtually’ locked up in their tiny motel room and it was getting harder and harder by the minute.

 

True, Sam was going through a rough patch, a ‘really’ rough patch, Dean understood that, man, he would probably react in the same way if he was turned into a chick, maybe even worse, but Sam was beginning to resemble a caged animal –just as pissed and wild. So, after some serious thinking, Dean concluded that it’d be better if they went to Bobby’s place. However, Sam differed on the matter.

 

“No, Dean! We’re not going to Bobby’s!”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Coz!”

 

“Listen, Sam, you’ve been in here for ‘way’ too long. At first you couldn’t go out because you had nothing to wear, I get that, but now you do…and you’re still sitting on your ass in front of your laptop all day.”

 

“It’s called ‘research’, Dean! How else do you expect me to find a way to fix ‘this’?” Sam replied pointing a finger at his newly acquired female body.

 

“Yeah, I know, but you gotta go out…you need some fresh air, dude! ‘Sides, you could use a short break…c’mon, you look tired and” Dean was then cut short by a growl coming from Sam’s stomach “and you’re clearly hungry!” he added chuckling “C’mon, let’s go have some dinner.”

 

“Just order some pizza.”

 

“No way, I’m done having pizza, that’s all we’ve been eating for the past three days.”

 

“Fine, just go get some burgers or whatever you want then.”

 

Dean ran a hand through his face in frustration. Evidently, he was dealing with ‘stubborn’ Sam at the moment so he did the usual thing whenever that happened: he walked towards his brother and said in his most commanding voice “Get up and grab your jacket. We’re heading out.”

 

Sam looked at him in disbelief. Dean looked dead serious about it but still Sam said “You’re not serious.”

 

“Oh, I’m damn serious, Sammy. We’re going out even if that means I gotta drag your ass outta here!”

 

“But why can’t we have some take-out?” Sam asked.

 

The little brat was pulling his puppy-dog eyes and Dean couldn’t believe it: they were even more effective now that Sam was a girl! However, he knew exactly what Sam was doing and ‘why’ he was doing it: his brother was still freaked out and couldn’t stand being seen and ‘treated’ as a girl by strangers, and Dean feared the whole thing would get a lot worse if Sam didn’t shake it off soon so he ordered again “C’mon, Sam, you ‘need’ to go out.”

 

“But…but I went out already…I went with you to buy breakfast yesterday” Sam said in a small voice and unable to meet his brother’s eyes.

 

It was killing Dean. Sam looked so lost and small…it reminded him of all the times when his brother had turned to him for comfort when he was a kid. And just like back then, he instinctively knew what to do.

 

“Oh, please, Sammy, going outside for ten minutes doesn’t count. The last time you ‘actually’ spent some time outside of these four walls was ‘three’ days ago,” Dean said locking gazes with his brother and then added smiling softly “didn’t you have a good time then? Wasn’t the pie and coffee good?”

 

“Yeah…but…but…”

 

“No more buts. C’mon, let’s go out. It’ll be good for you. Help you clear your head.”

 

Dean wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer, that was pretty obvious, and his arguments were pretty convincing, too, so Sam decided it was better to play along. Besides, Dean was right: Sam was in serious need of some fresh air…he was going insane in their motel room. He was beginning to feel trapped and desperate and that was totally messing up his concentration and if he wasn’t focused, well, he’d never find the way to turn back. So, he just replied “Okay.”

 

“Okay? Good! Let’s go then,” Dean quickly said fearing Sam would get cold feet.

 

They both left the room, got inside the car, and Dean immediately drove to a small restaurant he’d spotted earlier that day. The drive was short and silent, one of Dean’s Metallica’s tapes the only sound filling the Impala.

 

They got to the restaurant in a matter of minutes –that was the advantage of small towns, everything was a ten-minute drive away– and sat at one of the booths. 

 

They were busy reading the menu when a waitress approached them.

 

“Hi, there! What can I get you?”

 

She was blonde and attractive and had a thick Southern drawl. Of course, Dean didn’t fail to see any of it, and immediately flashed a wide grin “What’s good, sweetheart?” before adding in a sultry voice “Besides you, of course.”

 

Sam rolled his eyes at his brother’s sleazy comment and focused on his menu while Dean shamelessly hit on the waitress. Sam knew the drill: his brother and the girl would flirt endlessly, then they’d end up at their motel room, and he’d be stuck sleeping in the Impala…exactly what he needed right now!

 

However, things didn’t go as usual: the girl pretty much ignored Dean and started explaining the day’s special looking at Sam.

 

“Well, we do have great roast today,” she said with her eyes fixed on Sam.

 

“Oh, my bro-, ‘sister’ is more of a salad girl,” Dean quickly explained kicking himself for making such a stupid mistake.

 

“Your ‘sister’?” the girl echoed giving him a brilliant smile.

 

Dean smiled back at her and felt glad he’d made it clear Sam wasn’t his girlfriend because the blondie was hot and he expected to get lucky that night. However, it didn’t turn out as he thought since the girl’s attention was fully focused on ‘Sam’ now. She was all smiles and her voice was much lower and sexier.

 

Of course, Sam didn’t notice…any of it! Dean couldn’t believe it. That girl was practically throwing herself at Sam and he just didn’t see it. Dean sometimes wondered how his brother ever got laid…and even if the two of them were related…at all!

 

As soon as the waitress left, Dean asked “Dude, what’s wrong with you?”

 

“What?” Sam asked clearly confused.

 

“The waitress! She’s totally into you!”

 

“C’mon, Dean, she probably thought I was your girlfriend or something…she was just being nice, that’s all.”

 

“Sammy, she wasn’t just being ‘nice’. She was all over you when I told her you were my bro, I mean, my sis, whatever, you know what I mean” and then he added “look, she’s staring at you, Sammy!”

 

And she was. Dean was right about that. The girl had her eyes practically glued on Sam.

 

“Please drop it, Dean.”

 

“Oh, c’mon, Sammy! Some girl-on-girl action…what are the odds of something like that ever happening again, uh? You should totally go for it. Enjoy the perks while you can!” Dean said enthusiastically before winking at Sam.

 

Sam was about to yell at his brother, but right then the waitress showed up with their orders and, unfortunately, Dean had been right all along: she was shamelessly flirting with Sam, who had gone dead silent and was turning all shades of red.

 

Of course, as soon as she left, Dean started mocking his brother and insisting that this was a once-in-a-life-time opportunity –so to speak– he’d be more than glad to take if he could, and that Sam should make the most of it.

 

Sam evidently didn’t think alike and since his brother wouldn’t shut up and leave him alone, he decided to kick him in the shins. 

 

“Ouch! What the hell, Sam?”

 

“I told you to drop it, Dean!” Sam replied.

 

“Fine, whatever, you didn’t have to kick me so hard.”

 

“Oh, please, it wasn’t that hard…just shut up and eat your food so we can leave.”

 

“C’mon, not yet, look they have a bar…let’s have a drink.”

 

“I don’t wanna have a drink, Dean.”

 

“Man, just a beer…please?” Dean said trying to mimic his brother’s puppy-dog eyes and failing dismally.

 

Sam couldn’t help smiling in response and replied “Fine, but just one and we’re leaving, ok?”

 

“Cross my heart!” Dean said clearly lying through his teeth.

 

Dean spotted Blondie serving some customers and she was still staring at Sam. He couldn’t help smirking wondering how on earth his brother could let go of such a great chance at getting laid and seeing the whole thing from an entirely different perspective. 

 

His mind wandered off and soon pictured Blondie in red lacy underwear licking her lips sensually and running her hands all over ‘girl!Sam’, who was lying on her back…in bed…’naked’. Unfortunately, that insanely long hair of hers covered the best parts of her body…and yet it was beyond sexy: those dark waves almost caressing her breasts and ribs pointing down to her hips and to the sweet wetness between her legs. 

 

Dean focused hard, desperately trying to see that particular spot of skin that was the key to the sweetest pleasure known to man, but Blondie was now lying on top of Sam, kissing her lips wildly as if there was no tomorrow and roaming her curvy body with her experienced hands. Man, that girl clearly knew what she was doing!

 

Dean was shaken out of it by the twitch in his pants. Okay, he was fantasizing about his brother and that couldn’t be right, but then he realized it wasn’t exactly like that. Actually, he was thinking of two really hot ‘chicks’ doing it so that was kind of okay. Anyway, he decided to leave it at that and focused on Blondie again, who kept looking up and down at Sam hungrily. Man, wasn’t his bro lucky!

 

Then, he looked around and noticed that Blondie wasn’t the only one interested in Sammy. There were several guys ogling Sam. Okay, the whole waitress, girl-on-girl thing was funny –and ‘hot’. Actually, he’d love to join them! But those sleazy bastards staring at ‘his’ Sammy like that wasn’t funny…at all! Hell, he knew that look much too well and had a pretty good idea of what all those guys had in mind…and he wasn’t going to allow any of that. No guy looked at Sam that way and had her front and central in his fantasies!

 

Before he knew it, Dean stood up and informed harshly “Let’s go.”

 

He was met by a wide-eyed Sam who asked “What?” clearly confused.

 

“C’mon, put on your jacket and let’s go.”

 

“But you haven’t had your pie yet…and you said earlier you wanted to have a drink.”

 

“Changed my mind. Let’s go…’now’.”

 

Dean was adamant about leaving and Sam guessed something was wrong so he complied and decided to leave the questions for later. 

 

For some unknown reason, Dean seemed seriously pissed and was giving murderous looks to a number of guys in the restaurant. So, Sam stood up and quickly put on his jacket. And as soon as he did, Dean threw his arm around Sam’s waist drawing his brother towards him and closing the gap between them in one quick motion.

 

Sam never saw that one coming. Fine, his brother could be a little overprotective sometimes –wow! understatement of the year!– but this was too much, even for ‘his’ standards. Besides, Dean didn’t really seem overprotective at the moment; Sam could swear he was actually being possessive…’territorial’.

 

And he was right: Dean was being overprotective, possessive ‘and’ territorial. However, what Sam missed was that his brother was madly ‘jealous’. 

 

Dean threw some money on the table without letting go of Sam and they both left the restaurant without saying a word. Sam was expecting Dean to remove his arm the minute they stepped outside, but he didn’t. In fact, his brother kept his arm around his now much smaller frame holding their bodies tightly pressed together.

 

Sam was ‘beyond’ confused. He had no clue why his brother was acting that way and considering everything that had happened so far, he guessed he was probably freaking out. Sam could get that, and knew that he’d have to keep it together for both their sakes. Besides, Dean had handled things really well so far and he deserved to let some steam off.

 

It all made perfect sense to Sam: Dean was pissed at those witches for turning Sam and frustrated for not finding a way to fix yet, and he wasn’t hiding it anymore. Sam could deal with that…but not with what happened next.

 

Sam expected his brother to let go of him as soon as they got to the Impala, but he didn’t. Instead, Dean walked him to the passenger’s door, opened it for him and only then did he remove the arm wrapped around Sam’s waist. Sam was too shocked to say anything and just got in the car. A few seconds later, Dean was sitting next to him still looking mad.

 

“What the hell, Dean? Why did we have to leave like that? And what’s with all the ‘hugging’?”

 

Dean immediately looked at him in the eye and yelled “Didn’t you see it? The way those sleazy bastards were looking at you? No douche stares at you like ‘that’!!!”

 

“Oh…okay,” Sam said looking down and wrapping his arms around himself while he put his feet up on the seat curling up into a small ball.

 

Dean mentally cursed wanting to kick his own ass. His words hadn’t come out right –they’d come out dreadfully wrong actually! He hadn’t meant to yell at Sam, who felt now overly self-conscious of his female body…again! After all the effort he’d put into dragging Sam out of the motel room…how could he have acted so stupidly! Tact, a word which clearly wasn’t part of his vocabulary…and he’d have to change that real soon.

 

“Sammy, listen, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Dean was trying hard to find the right words and apologize but Sam cut him short.

 

“It’s okay, Dean, you don’t need to explain.” 

 

They both went silent for a moment and then Dean asked “Erm, you still hungry, Sammy? I could go get you something if you want.”

 

“No, I’m fine, let’s just go to the motel, please,” Sam answered looking out of the window.

 

Dean was about to crack a joke or retort somehow, but quickly realized it’d only make things worse so he kept his mouth shut and drove back to the motel. The drive was dead silent and things weren’t any different when they got there. 

 

Sam’s silent treatment was driving Dean insane so he finally said “C’mon, Sam, I said I was sorry…I don’t know what got into me…I’m really sorry I snapped like that…I…”

 

Dean was planning to apologize till the words got inside Sam’s head and his brother forgave him –even if it took forever. But then, Sam cupped his face and they locked gazes.

 

“Hey, it’s okay, Dean, seriously,” Sam took a deep breath and then added “I guess it’s a lot to deal with…I probably would have done the same thing, hell, I’m sure I would have beaten the crap out of those guys.”

 

Sam gave Dean an honest smile and saw his brother breathing again “Yeah, I bet you would!”

 

They were both smiling now and tension was slowly beginning to disappear. 

 

“So, we good then?”

 

“Yeah, Dean, course we are.”

 

Again, Blondie was on top of Sam, kissing the brunette for dear life and kneading one of Sam’s full perky breasts. Blondie clearly knew what she was doing and Sam had totally surrendered to her charms, and was now lying still, enjoying the girl’s caresses and kisses with half-lidded eyes.

 

Dean saw Blondie’s hand leaving Sam’s breast and slowly making its way down south towards Sam’s wet core. The waitress locked her lips on Sam’s throat and licked and suckled on the sensitive skin there while she inserted two digits inside Sam, who threw her head back and gasped in response.

 

“Sh, ‘princess’, it’s okay…tell, me…is it good? Is this how you like it?” Blondie asked against Sam’s skin while she scissored her fingers.

 

Sam was soon breathing raggedly and almost moaning, hands fisting the sheets and body going stiff.

 

Blondie kept kissing Sam’s neck and increased the pace of her movements noticing that the brunette was almost there.

 

And right then, something completely unexpected happened: Blondie started changing. Her soft curves turned into hard lines, her hair became short and spiky, she grew in height and weight, and, all of a sudden, she was gone and a male figure had taken her place instead. And the most surprising thing, though ‘shocking’ described it more accurately, was that this man on top of Sam was…’Dean’. 

 

He was kissing Sam passionately and using his fingers expertly making Sam moan in ecstasy. He was enjoying the way Sam was writhing in pleasure under his touch and he kept asking “tell me, ‘princess’, does it feel good? Do you like it?” locking gazes with Sam, who found it impossible to speak, overwhelmed by the sensations, and barely managed to nod.

 

Dean woke up all sweaty and with a hard-on. He couldn’t believe what had just happened to him. He’d just had a wet-dream starring himself and…’Sam’!!! Of course, panic kicked in in no time. That’s what happened after you fantasized about your brother, right? It was ‘normal’, wasn’t it? 

 

And then, he reminded himself that it wasn’t really ‘Sam’, it wasn’t his brother, it was a really hot chick he’d been stuck with for a week. And well, he’d always been into sex…a lot. And he hadn’t had any since they’d ganked the witches, and ‘girl!Sam’ was really hot, so it was no surprise that something like that happened. It was only a matter of time, right? 

 

Dean noticed that he was breathing heavily because, well, he was shocked –but mainly because he was damn horny– and tried to get his breath under control and will his erection away. 

 

He looked towards Sam’s bed and felt incredibly grateful for the fact that his brother was in the arms of Morpheus…though he wished it was ‘his’ arms instead.

 

Okay, the picture of himself all wrapped around Sam wasn’t doing any good to his current ‘condition’ so he rolled over till he was lying down on his stomach, covered his head with his pillow and tried to think of anything that might help him get his mind off Sam, but nothing seemed to work.

 

He was increasingly frustrated and was desperate for release so he took his chances and got out of bed and stealthily walked into the bathroom.

 

All it took was a few firm strokes and he was seeing stars while images of Sam all hot and bothered for ‘him’ flashed through his head. He wanted to let go and cry out his brother’s name when pleasure struck him in waves, but he knew he couldn’t, it was too risky, Sam might hear him, so he bit his lip hard almost breaking the skin wishing he was on top of Sam, buried to the tilt in sweet gorgeous Sam, his naked skin on hers, instead of leaning against cold tiles.

 

When he got back to his senses and the true meaning of what had just happened, of what he’d just done, finally sank in, he realized he was in serious trouble this time.


	5. Chapter 5

  
Author's notes: Hi, guys! Sorry it took me a little while longer to post this chapter -I've been pretty busy with a project!  
I hope you enjoy it just as much as the previous ones. Thanks a lot for all the reviews/ratings, they're amazing and they do encourage me to go on writing my fic.  
You're awesome, guys!  
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Several days had gone by since the ‘incident’ at the restaurant. Sam was more self-conscious than ever and Dean felt like shit for being the one who had caused it. Sam was already having a hard time dealing with his new gender and here he was making it all worse. He still couldn’t believe his stupid outburst and wished he’d kept his mouth shut for once. 

 

At least, checking out of the motel and renting a small apartment had turned out to be a good idea. The place was kind of crappy and there was only one bedroom, but there was a kitchen and a living room and having some extra space felt good. Besides, having a kitchen at their disposal meant that they could cook themselves and save some money.

 

Ever since they’d rented the apartment, Sam had spent most of the time indoors, searching in frenzy for some way to change back. He didn’t actually refuse to go out to get food or whatever they needed, but the memory of what had happened at the restaurant was still fresh in his mind and now on the rare occasions when Dean managed to drag his ass outside, he wore the largest clothes he could find, clearly in an attempt to hide his female body. It didn’t pass unnoticed to Dean but he didn’t say a word about it. He was just glad Sam was at least leaving the apartment without complaining…too much.

 

As usual, Sam was busy researching. He’d been on his laptop for way too long and found nothing, and he was frustrated. His eyes hurt and his back was killing him too, so he decided to grab one of the old books he’d gotten from Bobby a couple of weeks ago and see if he could find something there. Who knew? Maybe he’d missed something?

 

He was about to place the book on the table and do some reading but thought it better to lie down on the bed and give his back a needed rest instead. So, he threw the book on his bed and lay down there, fully focused on the yellowish pages of the thick book before him.

 

Dean was lying on his own bed trying to catch some needed sleep but failing miserably…and Sam lying there on his stomach, propped up on his shoulders wasn’t helping…at all. Dean tried to look away, get his mind off Sam, think of something else, but it proved to be impossible.

 

Despite himself, he was soon staring at the curvy brunette lying on the other bed. He had a perfect view of Sam’s profile and was enjoying very much what he was seeing. Sam was wearing jeans and a top which weren’t tight –though Dean would love to see Sammy in tight clothes now!– but fitted her curves beautifully and softly caressed her shapely body.

 

Dean noticed that Sam was too focused on whatever he was reading and knew that he could indulge a little bit on the gorgeous view he had before him without getting caught. So, he smirked and decided he’d take his chances and look at Sam nice and slow.

 

He started from the head and went all the way down from there. He wanted to see everything, all of Sam’s new shapes and curves, but Sam’s long dark mane covered most of her new body so there was no way he could get what he wanted. And then, good luck struck as Sam brushed her insanely long hair to one side revealing her female figure to him.

 

Sam’s face was different and yet it was pretty much the same –Dean knew that already– except that the lips were fuller and the features softer and more delicate. He noticed that it was the exact same nose and eyes, with longer lashes but the same deep brown color. 

 

Dean shifted his eyes down slowly, inch by inch, until they reached the curve of Sam’s breasts. Sam was propped on her elbows and her breasts were resting on the bed, round firm flesh that Dean remembered perfectly well from the time when he’d helped his brother at the dressing room. Dean closed his eyes for a second and remembered the shape and look of those pearly mounds, almost feeling their weight in his hands and feeling their softness with his lips.

 

He opened his eyes instantly, knowing that if he allowed his fantasy to go on, he’d be hard in no time. So, he opened his eyes and went on staring at Sam –not that it’d help much either– but it was something he’d been longing to do for a while now, and it wasn’t easy to find Sam with his guard down therefore he was not going to let this chance go to waste. 

 

Besides, it wasn’t as if he was actually staring at his brother. He was having the time of his life checking out a hot ‘chick’, and it was only natural that he’d end up doing this given that he hadn’t had any since Sam’s unfortunate transformation. He didn’t want to admit it but he didn’t want to leave Sam alone, not in his current condition, what if something happened to his bro while he was out doing some random brod? He’d never be able to go on living after that. And that meant that he hadn’t hit on anybody for quite a while and his urges were growing by the minute.

 

So, after thinking it over and over and over again, he’d come to the conclusion that if he was stuck having no sex for only God knew how long while sharing a room with a hot woman, then, he guessed it was totally fair to let his imagination wander off a little bit.

 

Dean’s eyes shifted to Sam’s back and the soft curve it described. He followed it and let it guide him to the round firm flesh at the end of her back. Man, he loved the way those jeans cupped her butt and licked his lips wondering how it’d feel to knead those perky cheeks.

 

He noticed his breath was growing heavy so he stopped staring at Sam’s ‘most interesting parts’ and focused on her hair instead. It was the same color, and just as wavy, but it was glossier and ridiculously long, and he wondered if it felt as silky as it looked. He imagined himself running his fingers through that messy mane, placing himself between those legs, pressing his body down onto Sam’s and exploring every inch of it with his expert hands and mouth.

 

Dean quickly realized it was becoming too much for him to bear. Sam had no clue that he’d been staring, but he was growing impossibly horny and given the twitch he was beginning to feel in his pants, he’d give himself away if Sam saw him so he stood up and headed towards the bathroom to try and calm down…and stop thinking about Sam.

 

Several minutes later, Dean came out of the bathroom looking suspiciously flushed. Sam wondered what was up with him. He was way too quiet and seemed awkwardly…spent? Dean didn’t say a word; he simply lay down on his bed and closed his eyes before letting go of a sigh.

 

Sam was bored with his reading. The book had gotten him nowhere so far and he was growing increasingly frustrated. He let go of a sigh as well and rested his head on top of the book he’d just closed. He felt his body and his head beginning to relax and let his mind wander off for a while trying to forget about the curse and all his problems. 

 

He looked around the room he was currently sharing with his brother and soon found his eyes resting on Dean’s still figure. Sam fixed his eyes on him and let them examine him closely and carefully: the strong jaw, the pouty lips, the broad shoulders, the taut muscle that he knew was hidden under layers of clothes.

 

He knew that he had a ‘hot’ brother. All the women they came across made that very clear, hell, Dean himself pointed it out whenever he had the chance, the vain bastard, but Sam had never realized how ‘beautiful’ he actually was. His beauty was such that it was breath-taking, almost out of this world. 

 

Sam was at a loss for words, he couldn’t think of a word that properly described what he was seeing and then he realized that Dean was simply…’perfect’, it almost hurt to look at him. Sam then noticed that his brother looked like one of those magnificent marble statues of Greek gods and champions you could see in museums. And yet, at the same time, despite all of his beauty, Dean was so…’manly’. 

 

He was brave and strong and protective. All of him screamed those qualities to whoever happened to be paying attention. Sam focused on his hands for a while, the very same hands that had tended to his wounds and given him comfort so many times in the past, and wished those hands were all over him. 

 

Sam suddenly found himself thinking about joining Dean in his bed. His new female body spread over his brother’s: Dean’s strong arms wrapped around her and his expert hands roaming her body while she connected all those adorable freckles on Dean’s face with her lips.

 

Sam felt his heart beating faster and a warm feeling pooling in his stomach. It was strange, it felt different, but he knew exactly what it was: lust. He was lusting after his own ‘brother’ for God’s sake! He was growing aroused by looking and thinking about his brother in ways that he shouldn’t and then it hit him, he’d just thought of himself in Dean’s arms, as if they were lovers, and he’d thought of himself as a ‘woman’.

 

Sam held his breath in disbelief and refused to fully acknowledge what had just happened. He was not thinking about his brother that way. It was impossible. It just couldn’t be. It must have been a side effect of the curse. Yes, that was exactly what it was. It was all because of the stupid ‘stupid’ curse. Besides, why else would he ever think of himself as a ‘woman’, right?

 

Sam let go of the breath he’d been holding once he concluded the curse had been the cause of his inappropriate thoughts and feelings and was somewhat relieved. Deep down he knew he was fooling himself, there was something else going on, it was crystal clear, but he wasn’t willing to admit it, at least not just yet.

 

Several days had gone by, and Sam hadn’t felt attracted –oh, God, that sounded so wrong!– to his brother anymore. He’d successfully convinced himself that it had just been a side effect of the curse and nothing else.

 

Besides, Dean seemed to be adjusting pretty well, too. He was doing his best at keeping his caveman-like don’t-you-dare-ogle-my-sister attitude on check and he’d stopped acting as if Sam was a frail thing. As a matter of fact, Dean was beginning to treat him in sort of a more ‘normal’ way and Sam felt glad for it.

 

Unfortunately, they hadn’t been able to find anything regarding the curse and Sam was still stuck in his female body…and he just hated it. Of course, Dean didn’t fail to see it. Contrary to popular opinion, he wasn’t stupid, and he thought it’d be best for Sam to keep his mind off the whole gender swap thing. So, one morning, he dragged Sam out of the apartment and drove off to the most isolated area he could find.

 

“What are we doing here, Dean?”

 

“It’s been weeks since we last had a case. Gotta do some practice or we’ll get rusty,” Dean answered casually.

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Sure I am. Come on, Sam, get out of the car and help me out.”

 

Sam was looking at his brother in disbelief. Dean couldn’t possibly be suggesting that he, in this girl’s body, ran drills with him. But then with Dean, you never knew! So, he got out of the car and helped his brother set up some targets on a couple of trees.

 

Dean realized Sam wasn’t pleased with the situation…at all. He was clearly nervous and uncomfortable as hell, but he wasn’t complaining out loud and that was a good thing as that allowed Dean to move on with his plan.

 

“Okay, I think we’re all set. Now why don’t you start by throwing a couple of knives, Sammy?”

 

Dean could feel his brother’s eyes burning through his skull but pretended that everything was just fine and handed him a couple of knives. Sam took them hesitantly and stared at them for a while. Then, he took a deep breath, held a knife and steadied himself for his first throw. Surprisingly, he got a bull’s-eye. He felt confidence washing over him. He’d expected to miss by a mile but it seemed that his skills had remained intact. So, he grabbed a second knife and threw it and, again, it hit right in the center. He kept going until there were no knives left in his hand and felt glad he was just as sharp as before.

 

Dean patted him on the back flashing him a wide grin “You’re still good with knives. Let’s see how you manage guns, okay?”

 

Sam was feeling much better, and a lot more confident, and nodded instantly. Dean studied the guns he’d brought along and decided to go for a pistol since it was clear the shot-gun had too much of a kick for Sam to handle right now.

 

Sam took the pistol his brother was handing over to him and steadied himself for the first shot. Once again, his first shot went right through the center of the target. He continued shooting adjusting his weight and posture until he was completely comfortable but never missing his target, not even once.

 

Sam was all smiles and had a gleam of pride and self-satisfaction in his eyes. Dean was glad to see that his brother was feeling better with himself and gaining some of his confidence back and couldn’t help smiling again. 

 

“That’s great, Sammy, you’re still a good shoot and just as sharp with knives.”

 

“Yeah, I guess I am!” Sam said grinning.

 

“…plus you’re just as geeky as usual…but we already knew that!” Dean then added ruffling Sam’s hair.

 

Sam pushed him away pretending to be mad at him for messing with his hair but it was clear from the look on his face that he was just as glad as Dean. Finally, some of the tension that had been building up for the past few days was slowly fading away and both brothers were extremely grateful for it.

 

They kept practicing their shot until their stomachs started growling, letting them know it was late in the afternoon, and so they decided to leave. For the first time in a long time, the air in the car didn’t feel heavy, quite the contrary, it was as if a soft breeze had lifted off all the uneasiness they’d both felt lately. 

 

Dean’s favorite tape was playing and he was singing his lungs out. Naturally, Sam couldn’t help rolling his eyes or smiling every time his brother looked at him and winked. It felt good. It felt ‘right’. 

 

The drive wasn’t that long and when they got to town, they bought some take-out and headed back to the apartment. Dean would have loved to hang out for a while but guessing Sam was tired, he thought it was probably best to go straight back to the crappy place they were currently staying in. He didn’t say it out loud, though, and pretended he wanted to grab a bite and rest for a while.

 

They were both eating and joking when Dean’s phone rang and seeing it was Bobby, he answered immediately. He’d hoped Bobby was calling with some solution for Sam’s situation but he was completely wrong. Instead, the old hunter was contacting him because he needed a favor. 

 

Dean spent several minutes on the phone and repeatedly said “can’t someone else take care of it?” He wouldn’t say anything else out loud and Sam guessed it had to do with a case. Finally, Dean said “fine, I’ll see what I can do and call you back” before hanging up and putting his phone away.

 

Sam had been chewing at his food carefully studying each one of Dean’s words and movements and then asked “So, what’s up?”

 

“Erm, nothing,” Dean replied dryly.

 

“C’mon, Dean, tell me what’s going on…please?” 

 

“Oh, don’t you dare do the puppy thing!”

 

“C’mon, Dean, please. I know it was Bobby…what’d he say?” Sam asked again pulling his puppy dog eyes and fluttering his lashes.

 

Dean couldn’t believe how manipulative his little bro was becoming and guessed it must be some sort of ‘girl’ thing. The little brat was playing him and there was no way he was going to allow any of it. However, he also knew very well that Sam wouldn’t leave it alone until he got his answers, and Dean was not in the mood for a bitching Sam so he decided to spill, and deal with the situation then and there.

 

“It’s nothing, just a case.”

 

“Okay, a case,” Sam said expecting his brother to elaborate on it and when he didn’t, he asked “so, details?”

 

“Details? You’re not coming, Sam.”

 

“What do you mean ‘I’m not coming’?”

 

“Just that…you’re not coming.”

 

“You gotta be kidding me, Dean! Then why on earth did we go practice today, uh?”

 

“I told you already it’s because we haven’t worked a case in weeks and I don’t wanna get rusty, Sam, so just drop it!”

 

“No, it’s not that. It’s ‘coz I’m…I’m…” Sam stuttered unable to form the words “it’s ‘coz I’m not ‘me’, right?” He finally managed to say with a pained expression on his face.

 

Dean let go of a sigh and ran a hand over his face and replied “it’s not that, Sam.”

 

“Yeah, it is. I get it. Just go, Dean, it’s okay,” his brother added looking defeated.

 

Sam’s eyes were quickly filling with tears and there was no way he was going to let his brother see him cry like a ‘girl’ –being stuck in a girl’s body didn’t mean he had become one! So, he squeezed his eyes shut and sat down on the bed, his back facing Dean. 

 

Dean felt his heart sinking. Sam was clearly hurting and it was killing him. Suddenly, he realized he’d rather deal with a freaked out Sam any day –it hurt a lot less. So, he sat down next to his brother and spoke softly “it’s not that, Sammy. It’s just that you have a new…body,” there, he’d said it and then added “you have a new height, weight…you gotta learn your way around it…that’s all,” Dean said while he rubbed soothing circles on Sam’s back.

 

“Yeah, guess you’re right,” Sam said after a few minutes.

 

Sam knew his brother had a point. He had a ‘new’ body –a smaller, ‘weaker’ body, to be more accurate– and he honestly had no idea how to put this body to use in a fight. He knew for sure his kicks and punches wouldn’t be as effective as before and guessed he wouldn’t be as fast a runner either.

 

“Hey, at least you’re still a geek! You can help me out research,” Dean said ruffling Sam’s hair affectionately.

 

“Stop it, Dean!” Sam complained pretending to be annoyed but given away instantly by his shy grin.

 

“Okay, sorry!” the eldest brother replied stroking Sam’s head.

 

“What is it with you and my hair anyways?”

 

Dean smirked thinking “Oh, Sammy, if only you knew!” but instead he said “nothing much. Just enjoy bugging you, that’s all.”

 

This time Dean was met a grinning Sam, who nudged him softly in the ribs, and he felt incredibly grateful.

 

Sam opened his laptop and Dean gave him the details Bobby had given him over the phone. It turned out to be a simple salt and burn and Sam found the grave where the body was buried in no time. 

 

Seeing there was nothing particularly difficult or tricky about it, Dean decided to get rid of the ghost that very same night. He was getting things ready when he saw Sam packing some stuff, too.

 

“Hey, what are you doing?”

 

“Erm…packing my stuff?”

 

“What for?”

 

“Coz I’m not gonna need it at the graveyard…I’m not going empty-handed over there.”

 

“No, no way, Sammy, we’ve been through this already and you’re not coming.”

 

“Dean! C’mon, man, you said it yourself. It’s a simple salt and burn. Just a helpless little ghost.”

 

“’Helpless little ghost’?” Dean echoed his brother’s words in disbelief “There’s no such thing and you know it.”

 

“Okay, fine, but listen, what if you need help? ‘Sides, it’s an easy job.”

 

“No, you’re staying put.”

 

“Dean, please, I really need to do this. I can’t stay here doing nothing. It’s driving me insane.”

 

Dean saw his brother’s serious look and perfectly understood what he meant. Sam had been dealing with ‘a lot’ lately and being locked up in that tiny apartment while Dean went to take care of the ghost by himself wasn’t going to do much to help him build his confidence –confidence which he’d slowly begun to gain back. 

 

So, against his better judgment, Dean looked at him in the eye and said “Fine, get your crap. But listen carefully, Sam, you do exactly what I say or I swear I’ll drag your ass back here in no time, understood?”

 

Sam instantly smiled from ear to ear nodding his head and said “yeah! I promise I’ll do whatever you say!”

 

“Okay, then, go on get your bag and let’s hit the road.”

 

Dean turned around and headed to the door hiding his smile from Sam. After all, he didn’t want his little bro to think that he could get his way whenever he wanted.

 

The drive to the graveyard didn’t take long. It was right outside of town, away from everybody’s prying eyes, which was pretty convenient considering their line of ‘work’. Dean parked the car behind some trees and got their bags out of the trunk.

 

Of course, this time, he was the one in charge of digging up the grave. There was no way he was going to ask Sam to do it now. Funny, he never thought of himself as a ‘gentleman’, but it turned out that he was sort of turning into one? Man, he couldn’t wait to find the cure to this freaking curse so that everything could go back to normal. 

 

The one good thing about digging was that he didn’t have to watch what he did or say around Sam, and it was quite a relief. It was already bad enough to have to keep it together so that Sam didn’t freak out ‘even more’, but now that he was with this really hot chick instead of his brother and he couldn’t make a move –no matter how bad he wanted ‘her’– well, it was beginning to wear him out.

 

Fortunately, now he could focus on digging the grave, burning the remains, and getting rid of the ghost for good. He didn’t have to think of anything else…at least for a couple of hours. And God knew how much he needed a break.

 

Sam was standing next to the grave holding the pistol loaded with rock salt making sure the ghost wasn’t around. They both knew the dead man would show up as soon as sensed someone was messing with his bones –they always did. So, Sam kept his eyes opened trying to catch the slightest sign of danger.

 

Dean got to the coffin pretty soon and forced the lid open. As usual, a putrid smell came out of it and he felt like emptying the contents of his stomach, but he jumped out of the hole instead and looked for the gas and his lighter. 

 

He was busy grabbing the bottle with the gas from his duffel when he heard Sam shouting “Down, Dean!”

 

He looked up and saw his brother aiming at him and knew exactly what was going on. The angry ghost had showed up and was probably standing right behind him, ready to punch him or send him flying against a tombstone –yeah that seemed to be a favorite of most fuglies!

 

Dean dropped down almost instantly and Sam shot the ghost twice making it disappear.

 

“Where did it go?”

 

“I don’t know. I don’t see it anywhere. Just hurry and burn his corpse before it shows up again!”

 

Sam expected his older brother to throw the gas inside the grave and burn the body but he saw him rushing towards him instead. And before he knew it, he had landed on his back and Dean had been sent flying ten feet away. Sam immediately realized what had happened: the ghost had appeared behind him and Dean, as protective of him as he was, had gotten in the way and had the crap beaten out of him. 

 

Sam tried to shoot the ghost again but now that the man knew they were after him, he was being more careful and appearing and disappearing almost instantly, making it impossible for Sam to make a clean shot –and he wouldn’t risk shooting Dean with rock salt…not again.

 

So, Sam jumped over the open grave, got hold of the gas and threw it inside alongside with the lit lighter setting the whole thing on fire. The ghost screamed and shrieked before turning into a burning mass and disappearing into thin air, this time for good.

 

With the ghost gone, Sam rushed towards the spot where his brother lay unconscious. 

 

“Dean! Dean! Wake up!” Sam practically screamed seeing his brother’s bleeding head.

 

Sam’s heart rate was speeding by the minute and his chest was already heaving with his heavy breath. The sight of his brother lying down on the ground, not responding, was scaring the hell out of him. He slapped his face a couple of times and when that didn’t work, he started shaking him violently and after a couple of minutes, Dean finally opened his eyes.

 

“What? What happened?” he asked confused. 

 

Dean tried to move in order to stand up but felt the world spinning and let his head rest on the ground.

 

“Ouch, my head’s killing me!” he protested rubbing his forehead.

 

Sam didn’t realize he was still shaking his brother until he heard him yell “Hey! Quit shaking me, Sam! My head hurts!”

 

The brunette then threw his arms around his brother and held him tightly. Dean wasn’t feeling at his best –actually, he felt like hell. But for some reason, the mere fact of having Sam so close to him, trapping him in a tight embrace, made all the pain go away.

 

Dean closed his eyes and felt Sam’s soft hair on his cheek, and his breasts firmly pressed against his chest. And then there was that sweet scent coming from Sam. He didn’t know what it was –soap maybe?– but it was doing all sorts of things to him and he realized that if they stayed in that position: him lying on the ground and ‘girlSam’ on top of him, pressing her curvy perky body against his, he was going to give himself away. 

 

So, he put his hands on Sam’s waist and gently lifted him off saying “Hey, Sam, please, man, I wanna stand up.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right, sorry!” Sam said almost blushing.

 

Sam didn’t know why he’d reacted like that. Okay, the ghost had beaten the crap out of Dean, and it’d taken him a little while to wake up, but that was nothing new to them. They’d been in far worse shape and he’d never reacted –or felt– in such a way. He still wasn’t sure ‘what’ he was feeling, but it felt like an overwhelming need to take care of his brother, to make it all better, to make sure he was fine. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about Dean. He loved him deeply. He’d do pretty much anything for his brother. But his feelings had never been this strong, this…’intense’. 

 

It was definitely weird. 

 

Anyway, that wasn’t the time to do a ‘dissection’ of his feelings so he decided to leave that for later and concentrate on helping Dean stand up instead. He carefully let go of his brother and stood up, immediately offering his hands to help his brother keep his balance as he stood up.

 

“Are you dizzy? How’re you feeling?” Sam asked his voice full of concern.

 

“Am fine, Sammy. Just need a drink,” Dean answered rubbing the back of his neck soothingly.

 

It took him a few minutes to regain his focus and when he did, he saw Sam standing before him: long dark hair flowing in the night wind, pearly skin glistening under the moonlight, slim strong limbs hidden under jeans and plaid…all that framed by the golden flames coming from the grave.

 

Dean kept staring at Sam, standing steadily with his back to the fire, pistol in hand and a serious look on his face, and realized that he –well, ‘she’ actually– would make a hell of an Amazon: the hair, the posture, the looks…man, how on earth was he going to keep his urges on check with a vision like that?

 

He brushed off those thoughts immediately –they weren’t doing him any good– and he pretended everything was alright.

 

“Are you sure you’re fine, Dean? I mean, you were out of it,” Sam insisted one more time.

 

“I’m fine, Sam, seriously. I just need to get some rest. Let’s head back to the apartment, okay?”

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

They packed everything and put the bags in the trunk. Sam was walking towards the passenger’s door when Dean threw him the keys saying “you’re driving, Sam.”

 

Sam looked at him wide-eyed. Okay, something was definitely wrong with his brother. He never let anyone, absolutely ‘anyone’ –and that included him– drive his baby. 

 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that? I’m just tired and my head hurts. I’m not in the mood for driving that’s all.”

 

“Dean, you don’t let ‘anyone’ drive her.”

 

“C’mon, Sam, let’s just get in the car and hit the road. ‘Sides, you need to get used to driving in your new…well, you know what I mean. What if something happens and you gotta drive? Better to see how you do now that I’m fine and not bleeding to death, right?”

 

Okay, Dean had a point. Now that he had a new body everything was different. Hell, at first he had even had to be extra careful when walking with his new height and shorter stride and all. So, yeah, finding out which adjustments he had to make in order to drive made perfect sense. Besides, it was much better to find out now and not when they were in trouble running away from the authorities or seriously injured.

 

Dean knew what Sam was doing: as usual, his little brother was quickly analyzing the implications of every single word he’d said. He always wondered how Sam’s brain didn’t blow up with all that thinking and then he guessed it probably was like a small computer calculating a thousand things at a time and that if you turned it off, you probably wouldn’t be able to turn it on again. Anyway, the good thing was that he knew how his brother’s mind worked –after all, he’d practically raised the kid– and that always came in handy.

 

Finally, Sam said “fine, I’m driving then.”

 

They both got in the car and Dean felt incredible thankful he didn’t have to seat behind the wheel. He actually wasn’t in such a bad shape. Hell, he’d felt far worse. What he needed was to close his eyes and get Sam out of his head. He needed to get under control fast or his body would start showing signs of what he was thinking and feeling. So, he sat down on the passenger’s seat, took a deep breath, closed his eyes pretending to be resting, and mentally started listing healing herbs, reciting protection spells, and anything that could help him brush off Sam’s Amazon-like image and all of the things he would loved to do to her.

 

Thankfully, it worked. By the time they got to the apartment, he’d managed to push that image and those ideas to the bottom of his mind and he felt secretly proud for it. Who knew that having Sam turned into a hot chick would teach him some self-control…well, come to think about it, it was only natural!

 

They parked right outside the apartment and quickly stepped inside. Dean’s head still hurt so he went straight to the bathroom to get some aspirin. Sam took the duffels to the bedroom and made sure the place was safe: salt lines in place and all the usual stuff. When he was done, he asked “hey, Dean, want something to eat?”

 

“No, thanks, just gonna have a shower and go to bed.”

 

Dean took his shower first and Sam didn’t protest. In the past, there was always the usual fight to see who’d shower first, and Dean usually beat him, meaning lots of cold showers for Sam. But ever since Sam had turned, Dean only showered after Sam did. It was weird to see Dean acting more civil, more ‘gentlemanly’, around him but he wasn’t complaining…at all.

 

Dean came out of the bathroom a few minutes later wearing his tee and shorts, ready for bed, and Sam grabbed some of his stuff and disappeared inside the bathroom.

 

Dean wasn’t in the mood for bed, though, so he sat down on the ratty couch and surfed through the channels. Of course, there was nothing good on and he ended up watching some old stupid soap. The plot was beyond believable, but the actresses were hot, and so were some of the scenes, so he decided to settle for that. 

 

He heard Sam turning the tap off and taking for ever to come out of the bathroom. Another girl thing he guessed: ever since he’d been turned, he’d taken forever in the bathroom. He couldn’t understand why, after all, he was smaller now so that meant he had ‘less’ to wash. But apparently, that didn’t seem to matter.

 

About half an hour later, Sam showed up in the living room wearing one of his former, now gigantic, shirts and combing his hair. Dean saw the comb running through Sam’s hair, from the roots to the tips, and couldn’t help wishing it was his fingers instead. It was mesmerizing to see Sam untangle his hair. It was almost a ritual: the comb starting up from the head and slowly going all the way down those beautiful waves, only to start all over again. 

 

“Man, I think I’m gonna cut my hair short.”

 

“No!” Dean practically screamed before he knew it.

 

“Why not?” Sam asked curiously and somewhat confused.

 

Of course, Dean couldn’t say what he was thinking, which pretty much ran along the lines of “because I’d love to run my fingers through it and hold onto it real tight while I bury myself in you, that’s why, Sammy.” 

 

Yeah, probably not a very good idea so he shifted his eyes from Sam back to the tv screen instead.

 

“I’m serious. This takes like forever and I’m growing sick and tired of it! I don’t know how women put up with it.”

 

“C’mon, Sam, it’s not that bad.”

 

“Please, Dean, you keep your hair so short you practically shave your head off, you’ve no idea how tricky it is to keep your hair neat and tidy when it’s ‘this’ long…not to mention all the work it takes!”

 

Dean couldn’t help chuckling at that comment. Seriously, hearing Sam saying it was hard to keep “his hair neat and tidy” was pretty hilarious.

 

“That’s it. I’m getting it cut real short in the morning.”

 

“Sam, drop it. Haircuts are expensive. We don’t have that sort of money right now.”

 

“Then, I’ll do it myself!”

 

“Really? Sam you’ve no idea how to get it done, and neither do I. You’ll make a mess of yourself and then we’ll end up spending even more money to have it fixed…so, just leave it the way it is.”

 

“It’s ‘my’ hair, Dean!”

 

Dean couldn’t give credit to what he was hearing. He was arguing with his brother about…‘hair’! Man, when had it all come down to this?

 

“You’ve no idea how much work it takes. ‘Sides, it’s not practical when hunting…at all!”

 

“You could put it up, you know, the way girls do.”

 

At this point, Sam’s mouth was a thin line and his eyes were almost glowing in anger. Sweet little Sammy was pissed off. Dean knew what that meant and he wasn’t willing to put up with a bitching Sam all night. So, he got up from the couch, approached him and took the comb from his hand.

 

“C’mon, Sammy, if it’s too much work then I’ll help you with it,” he said standing behind his brother and running the comb through the wet hair.

 

“Dean, what are you…?” Sam began saying but was cut short by Dean, who quickly cooed him “Shh, just let me take care of it, okay?”

 

Sam stood still and let his older brother help him get his messy mane under control. He didn’t know why but having Dean slowly and carefully running the comb through his hair was unbelievably comforting and soothing. His bad mood was gone almost instantly and he was soon feeling calm and completely relaxed.

 

Dean was having the time of his life touching, caressing and exploring that long dark mane. He’d wanted to do it pretty much like forever and now that he was actually doing it, it felt even better than he’d imagined. It was even softer than he’d thought and could easily picture himself wrapped up in that seductive chocolate sea.

 

Having his hands all over it was completely amazing, and he truly wished he could bury his nose in those waves and indulge in their scent, but that would probably make Sam suspicious. So, he settled with letting his hands play with the glossy strands of hair before him. 

 

When he was done, he handed the comb back to Sam and said “See? Not so bad, right?”

 

“Yeah, sorry, I guess I made too big a deal of it.”

 

“That’s okay, Sam. Besides, your hair looks good, you know.”

 

Dean couldn’t believe he’d actually uttered those words. He hadn’t meant to. They were meant to be said in his head, not out loud. But Sam didn’t seem to understand the true meaning behind it and supposed it was his brother doing his best at trying to make him feel better.

 

Sam simply smiled and said “right, thanks,” before putting the comb away and adding “I’m going to bed. Please turn that down,” pointing at the tv.

 

“Yeah, no problem,” Dean replied casually.

 

Sam disappeared into the bedroom right after that, and Dean let himself fall on the couch. It’d been close, so close. He’d almost given himself away and wanted to kick himself for being so careless. Besides, what would Sam say if he ever found out the ‘kinds’ of thoughts and feelings he was harboring for him now? He’d surely call him a sick bastard and run away to never come back. 

 

Dean had already been without Sam those years he’d spent at Stanford and he suspected, no, he knew, that he wouldn’t be able to go through that again. He’d never told anyone but the first time had hurt too much, and he was sure that a second one would pretty much kill him.

 

No, Sam would never find out. He’d make sure of that. He just had to be more careful, that was all. He had to deal with this whole thing the way he dealt with the things they hunted. Yeah, that was what he had to do. He could do it, right? He was a good hunter and when he put his mind to it, nothing could stop him. 

 

Besides, Sam couldn’t be on his own now. Not that he was helpless or stupid, but he wasn’t really himself. Dean had seen the way men looked at Sam and he couldn’t even think about what could happen to him if he was on his own. And he wasn’t going to allow any of it. No way. It was his job to keep his little brother safe. It had always been his job and it would always be…no matter what.


	6. Chapter 6

  
Author's notes: Hi, everybody! Sorry it took a while to update my fic but I've been kinda busy lately!  
Thanks a lot for all the reviews/ratings...I'm glad you're enjoying my story and I hope you keep reading.:D  
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* * *

Days had gone by since the salt ‘n’ burn and Sam was concentrated again on finding a way to fix his ‘condition’. Dean had talked to Bobby –who was now fully aware of what was going on with Sam– on several occasions but had found nothing so far.

 

Naturally, Sam’s frustration was growing by the minute and being with him 24/7, stuck in a tiny apartment, was becoming increasingly difficult for Dean. Okay, Dean got it, being stuck in some girl’s body sucked. Well, maybe that depended on how you looked at it since Dean would certainly ‘love’ to be ‘inside’ Sam’s body right now!

 

But for some unknown reason, Sam had been acting strangely the last couple of days. He’d been kind of moody and annoying. He was always complaining that the apartment felt either too cold or too hot, that the food smelt funny, and all kinds of weird stuff. Okay, Sam had been pretty ‘bitchy’ lately but then Dean guessed the whole gender swap thing was taking its toll. So, he decided to ignore all of it and be as understanding and supportive as he could.

 

Sam was working on his laptop, his fingers hitting the keys at unbelievable speed when Dean suddenly saw him wincing and holding stomach. Of course Dean, as protective as he was, jumped off the couch and rushed to Sam’s side in no time.

 

“Hey, Sammy, what is it? You okay?” Dean asked, concern showing in his voice.

 

“Yeah, it’s nothing, must be the pizza we ate…told ya it smelt funny.”

 

Dean didn’t think there was anything wrong with the pizza they’d just had for dinner –it certainly hadn’t smelt funny to him– but under the circumstances, he thought it wiser not to do or ‘say’ anything that might upset Sam even more. So, Dean simply decided to nod and rub soothing circles on Sam’s back.

 

“Hey, it’s late and you’re clearly not feeling well…why don’t you call it a day and lie down?”

 

“Yeah, guess you’re right…I’m kinda tired anyway and this is going nowhere.”

 

That said, Sam headed to the bedroom and Dean stepped inside the bathroom to take a shower. Several minutes later, Dean stepped outside and found that the laptop was off and that Sam was nestled under the covers in bed. He smiled guessing poor Sam was too exhausted and his stomach kind of upset and made sure everything was okay –salt lines in place and all– before lying down himself.

 

Dean was awoken very early in the morning by the sound of running water. He had the feeling that it was too early for Sam to be having a shower and he rubbed his eyes trying to focus on his watch. After a few attempts, he succeeded and saw it was 4.30 a.m.

 

Okay, Sam was an early bird –he’d always been one– but this was too much. Dean was comfortably tucked in bed and he really wanted to close his eyes and go back to sleep but guessed something wasn’t quite right with Sam –maybe his stomach was upset again?– and he supposed he should get up and check on him. So, he kicked off the covers and reluctantly got out of bed.

 

He was still sleepy and his eyes felt tired but all that changed when he caught sight of the red drops on Sam’s sheets. He removed the bedspread and found a pretty large stain…a ‘blood’ stain…’Sam’s’ blood. It was at least 8 inches wide and it was still fresh.

 

What the hell was going on here? What had happened to Sam? ‘Sam’!!! Dean ran towards the bathroom and tried to open the door but found it locked. His heart was beating so fast he thought he was going to go on cardiac arrest any second and he started hitting the door with his fists while he shouted “Sam! Sam!” Thinking how he could have been so stupid and let something happen to Sammy.

 

Dean was so scared he was almost hyperventilating and Sam had to shout to the top of his lungs so that his brother could hear him.

 

“Stop it, Dean! I’m…fine.”

 

Dean felt his body coming back to life on hearing these words but then he remembered the blood and asked “How come you’re fine? There’s blood on your sheets, Sam. ‘Blood’! What the hell happened? Did you get hurt at the graveyard and you’ve been keeping it from me?”

 

“No, Dean! I didn’t get hurt at the graveyard!”

 

“Okay, what happened then?” Dean said placing his hand on the doorknob and trying to break it open.

 

“Leave the door alone, Dean! Don’t you dare come in here…you hear me?” Sam yelled.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry but I’m going in whether you like it or not…you can unlock the door or I swear I’ll break it open myself, Sam!”

 

“Dean…don’t! I’m not…I’m not ‘decent’, okay? I’m…in the shower.”

 

Fine, Sam wasn’t wearing any clothes and now he was going to have to deal with a wounded and ‘naked’ Sam…just ‘peachy’! Dean knew that he was freaking out and that wasn’t helping at all so he took a deep breath and tried to pull himself together. After all, panic was already permeating Sam’s voice and if he went down that path too, they’d both be in trouble.

 

“Okay, Sam, tell me what happened…please,” Dean finally managed to ask calmly.

 

“I don’t…I don’t really know…I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like shit and then I got out of bed and saw the blood but it didn’t make any sense so I came here and took off all of my clothes and got in the tub but I couldn’t find any wounds and then I”

 

Sam was speaking so fast his words were almost unintelligible and then he was cut short by Dean “Sammy?”

 

“What?”

 

“Breath.”

 

“Yeah, yeah…right,” Sam replied clearly on the verge of a panic attack.

 

Dean sat down on the floor leaning against the door and doing his best to think straight. Finally, after a few minutes, he asked “Sammy?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Are you still bleeding?”

 

“No, not right now.”

 

“And…you have no wounds, you’re not hurt, right?”

 

“No.”

 

“Okay,” he said letting go of a sigh and still unable to believe what was going on. “And how long it’s been since…you know…since you…’changed’? It’s been about a month, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Sam replied clearly oblivious to what his brother was implying. Dean couldn’t believe he was going to have to spell it all out for Sam. Wasn’t he supposed to be the brains? Stanford wasn’t that picky apparently.

 

“Okay, it’s been about a month since you…’turned’…and now you’re bleeding though you’re not hurt…” Dean paused waiting for his brother to get on with the program and getting no response from him, he added “c’mon, Sammy, think. ‘Where’ are you bleeding from?”

 

Sam looked down at himself and went pale when realization ‘finally’ sank in.

 

“Oh, no, no, no! No way! No freaking way!” 

 

“C’mon, Sammy, you’ve got girl parts now, it’s perfectly normal.”

 

“No! It can’t be…I can’t be having…” Sam said but stopped in mid-sentence.

 

“…your ‘period’!” Dean said in a slightly mocking tone.

 

Now that he knew for sure that Sam was okay, he suddenly found the situation pretty hilarious. Who would have imagined that Sam with his ‘emo’ crap and all, would freak out like this just because he had his ‘period’? Dean was about to open his mouth and mock his brother, but Sam, knowing him perfectly well, warned him “You’d better shut the fuck up, Dean! I feel like shit and I’m not in the mood for your stupid jokes!”

 

Dean could feel Sam’s glare on him through the closed door. Sam was beyond pissed so Dean thought it best to keep his mouth shut, he could always mock him later once things were back to normal…man, he had ammo for a life-time of mocking!

 

“Okay, I’m having my…’period’,” Sam said out loud trying to sound calm and then added “and we don’t have anything for it so you’re gonna have to go get me some stuff, Dean.”

 

“Come again?”

 

“I need some stuff, Dean, and you’re gonna have to go get it for me.”

 

“What? Why me? I’ve no idea what girls use when…you know.”

 

“I don’t know either! And since I’m the one leaving a bloody trail you’ll have to go!”

 

Fine, Sam had a point and though Dean wasn’t allured by the idea of buying ‘that’ stuff, it was pretty clear that Sam couldn’t leave the apartment. So, he stood up, got dressed and left.

 

Sam stayed put in the tub unable to step outside, still shocked by the recent events, and cursing the dead witch who’d put him through such ordeal. In all his years of hunting, he’d never thought he’d go through something as terrible as this. Having a different body was awful…it really sucked! But that wasn’t the worst part. He felt…’different’. He still felt himself and yet he felt different at the same time. Man, he wasn’t making any sense now…must be the hormones…stupid ‘stupid’ hormones!

 

Luckily, Dean came back pretty soon and Sam felt immensely grateful for it.

 

“Hey, Sam, open the door,” Dean said knocking gently.

 

The door opened slightly and Sam’s small hand came into view quickly grabbing the bag Dean was holding before closing the door again.

 

“Dean, what the hell!” Sam yelled.

 

“What? What is it?” Dean asked truly concerned.

 

“Tampons? Seriously? Tampons!”

 

Dean frowned utterly confused. What was wrong with Sam? Tampons? That’s what girls used, right? What was the big deal? Dean wanted to kick Sam’s ass. He’d gone to the market, swallowed his pride, and gotten the damn tampons for him. So, what the hell was his problem? However, he didn’t say any of that out loud. Instead, he ran his hand through his face and asked calmly “What did you want me to get, Sammy?”

 

Sam was silent at first but then spoke up “Erm…well, you know, there’s other stuff…those ‘pad things’.”

 

“C’mon, Sammy, I got you the tampons. Just use that now and I’ll take you to the pharmacy later so you can buy whatever it is what you want.”

 

“But…but…”

 

“What, Sammy?”

 

“Can’t you go get me some of the other stuff?”

 

“Please, Sam, it’s way too early, we haven’t even had breakfast yet. Anyway, why are you pushing it so hard? Why can’t you use those tamp…oh, wait a minute…don’t tell me you haven’t…”

 

“Forget it, Dean!”

 

“Seriously? You haven’t tried the ‘equipment’ yet?”

 

“You’re such a pig!”

 

“And you’re such a virgin!”

 

“Of course, I am!” Sam retorted sounding both upset and embarrassed.

 

“Fine, sorry ‘bout that! It’s okay, I’ll go to the store now and get you the stuff you want.”

 

“Fine…thanks,” Sam replied shyly.

 

“No problem, kiddo.”

 

Dean drove to the store, again, amazed by the revelation. He knew that Sam was technically a virgin again, but finding out that he hadn’t done ‘anything’ was pretty unbelievable. He wondered how Sam managed to walk around, lie down, take a shower, in ‘that’ body without roaming his hands all over it, without sinking his fingers in that warm spot. Dean licked his lips imagining how wonderful it would feel to press his body on Sam’s letting his fingers explore every inch of it before burying themselves deep inside making Sam cry out in pleasure. Dean felt the twitch in his pants and concluded that thinking about Sammy ‘that’ way while driving probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do so he focused on the road instead trying to push those thoughts aside. 

 

When Dean came back to the apartment, Sam was still locked up in the bathroom.

 

“Hey, Sammy, got you some more stuff…I’ll leave it by the door, okay?”

 

“Okay, thanks.”

 

Fifteen minutes later, Sam came out of the bathroom wearing one of his gigantic shirts. His face was red with embarrassment and wouldn’t make eye-contact with Dean. He noticed it immediately and hated the idea of Sam feeling bad, feeling embarrassed, for something that wasn’t his fault. How could he possibly imagine that he’d get his period?

 

Dean saw Sam frowning and immediately approached him saying “hey, you okay?”

 

“Yeah, it’s just that it hurts.”

 

“Okay, then, why don’t you lie down?”

 

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” Sam said walking towards his bed and stopping in mid-stride after seeing the bloody sheets. Suddenly, Sam felt Dean’s hands squeezing his shoulders lightly and saying “get in my bed. I’ll make you some tea, okay?”

 

Sam simply nodded and got under the covers. Some minutes later, Dean came back with a cup of hot tea and some ibuprofen. Sam was only too glad to see his brother acting so supportively.

 

“Oh, man, it hurts like a bitch,” Sam complained sipping from the cup.

 

“C’mon, Sammy, can’t be that bad.”

 

“And how would you know?” Sam yelled.

 

“I’ve no clue but every woman goes through it once a month so…”

 

“Yeah, well, I don’t know how they can take it…I mean it, man.”

 

“Sorry you gotta go through this, Sammy, is it that bad?” Dean said doing his best to show his support and be as understanding as he could.

 

“Yeah, it’s as if a thousand tiny guys were stabbing my…’ovaries’,” Sam said covering his face with his hands clearly mortified.

 

“Hey, Sammy, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” Dean said sitting next to his brother.

 

When Sam removed his hands, Dean saw his unshed tears. That pretty much sent him on full over-protective-big-brother mode. He lay down next to Sam and brought his little brother closer to him till he was safely held in his arms.

 

“Dean, what are you doing?”

 

“Keeping you warm, Sammy, just close your eyes and try to get some sleep.”

 

Sam let Dean wrap his arms around his much smaller body and enjoyed the warmth radiating off of him. Being in Dean’s arms felt so good, so ‘safe’. It was just like when he was a kid and had those dreadful nightmares, and he’d get in Dean’s bed looking for comfort. It’d felt so good back then and it felt so good now.

 

Dean held Sam tight in his arms and rubbed his back soothingly. Soon, Sam was fast asleep, his head resting on Dean’s chest. Dean let his head rest on top of Sam’s and breathed in Sam’s hair sweet fragrance while his hands stroked his back lovingly.

 

Dean closed his eyes and indulged on the warmth feeling spreading all over him. Having Sam in his arms like this, having complete freedom to stroke that mane, that body he wanted so bad, having ‘Sammy’ was the most intense and overwhelming feeling in the world.

 

Deep down he knew he shouldn’t be doing this but the temptation was too great and he was only human and Sam was sighing happily in his arms and he wasn’t exactly ‘molesting’ his baby brother –okay, kinda, his hand was now pretty much kneading Sam’s perky butt– but it wasn’t like he was going to take advantage of Sam and do something else. It was a little ‘fondling’, it was pretty much harmless. Sam seemed happy in his arms, right? He, ‘she’, actually, was holding him and sleeping peacefully…and when was the last time the poor kid had enjoyed a good night sleep, uh? Yeah, this wasn’t good ‘just’ for him, it was good for Sam, too.

 

Dean stopped that train of thought realizing he wasn’t thinking with his upstairs brain, and he wanted to kick himself for it…what the hell was he doing? Fantasizing was one thing. It was okay, it was private, no harm done. But this? This was crossing a line. It was ten kinds of ‘wrong’.

 

He slowly rolled over so that he could get out of bed –away from Sam!– but Sam mimicked his movements and ended up lying on top of him. Man, this was way worse. Having Sam pressed against him, practically giving him the full cow-girl was doing all sorts of things to his downstairs brain!

 

He took deep breaths and thought of the most dreadful things he could –how on earth was he going to explain a hard-on if Sam woke up? 

 

It wasn’t that easy –hell, killing wendigos was easy compared to this!– but he was a very determined man and he eventually succeeded. Fine, he thought he was either going to pass out or die right there on the spot, but he somehow managed to keep his urges on check.

 

He closed his eyes and thought of his bro, he recalled Sam being a curious kid with floppy hair and inquisitive eyes. He smiled at the thought of little Sammy running and playing, getting all excited at the sight of the small toy Dean had shoplifted at the last town they’d stayed. Now that Dean thought about it, Sam’s scarce –and only– toys had been the ones Dean had managed to ‘provide’ from him. He felt deeply sad…another bittersweet childhood memory…and, as usual, his dad wasn’t in the picture.

 

Dean held Sam tighter wanting to protect him and keep him safe and was brought back to reality by the girl’s soft curves and silky hair. It was strange. He knew it was Sam in his arms and yet, it wasn’t. And he had all these mixed emotions now. It was the same brotherly love and irrational need to protect Sam, and then there was also lust and something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on. And it was becoming increasingly difficult to tell them apart. What he was feeling was growing deeper as days went by and though he wouldn’t say it, he was thoroughly enjoying the time he was spending with Sam. 

 

He ran his fingers through Sam’s hair loving the silky sensation on his calloused hands. Man, he ‘loved’ Sam’s hair. He wondered how those waves would feel on his bare chest…and body. Okay, he seemed to be developing a fetish for Sam’s hair, but then who wouldn’t? After all, ‘his girl’ had a beautiful mane. A few seconds later, Dean became aware of what he’d just thought: ‘his girl’? Where had that come from? 

 

Lying in the bed with Sam on top of him, Dean concluded that Sam wasn’t the only one suffering the effects of the curse and in his mind there was no doubt he’d most certainly die if they didn’t find a cure soon.


	7. Chapter 7

  
Author's notes: Hi, everybody! Sorry for taking this long to post again, but I've been busy and had no free time to work on my fic. Anyway, I do promise I'll finish writing it, okay?  
Also, thanks a lot for all the reviews/ratings! I adore getting feedback on my fics and I love to hear your comments.  
Hope you like my story and keep on reading! :-)  
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* * *

Several days had gone by since the ‘incident’ –Sammy having his period– and Sam seemed to be back to normal…if being stuck in some alien body could ever be considered ‘normal’. Sam still couldn’t believe he’d been bleeding for a week –a whole week!– and had had to put up with those uncomfortable pads. He still had the tampons Dean had gotten for him but, in honest truth, he didn’t have the guts to use those. He’d studied one of them closely and carefully read the instructions on the box over and over again but the mere thought of pulling that thing ‘inside’ his body…was too much to bear. Besides, there was no guarantee it’d be more comfortable –hell, he was pretty sure it’d hurt a lot. Man, he sounded like a whining baby! He’d always respected women but now that he was going through all of this, he looked at them under an entirely new light.

 

So, after pondering the situation –repeatedly– he decided to stick to the pads. He hated them, it was like wearing ‘diapers’ for goodness sake, but it was all he could take at the moment.

 

Of course, Sam didn’t mention any of this to Dean and when his period was over –‘finally’ over!– he was blissfully happy and yet he was just as miserable knowing that in 28 days it’d start all over again –no, wait, not 28, but 21…damn he’d forgotten he was supposed to count from day 1 and since his period had lasted a week, well, that left him with only 3 period-free weeks, and that didn’t include PMS! How on earth did women manage to live like this? They were certainly a lot more resilient than he’d ever imagined.

 

Anyway, now that it was over, Sam thought it best to forget about it and better focus on finding the way to reverse the curse. Who knew? He might get lucky and find a reversal spell before it was time for him to have his period again and never have to go through such a dreadful experience ever again. Yeah, right, him, a Winchester, being lucky!

 

Dean noticed that Sam was in a better mood. In fact, he was acting almost normal, well, except for the constant/obsessive search for the cure to his condition, but then, he couldn’t blame him for that, all things considered, Sam was dealing pretty well with the whole gender swap thing, only God knows how he would have reacted had it happened to him instead.

 

Sam was slowly adapting to everything: new body, new height, new weight…and the brothers were doing simple gigs till they were both sure Sam could truly manage things. Sam wasn’t thrilled by it, especially with Dean and his over-protective-big-brother attitude 24/7 now, but he got it: Dean worried about him. He always had, and now that Sam was a girl, it was even more so. 

 

Hence, knowing there was no use fighting it, Sam decided to play along thinking it was the least he could do, after all, Dean had been pretty decent about it all and incredibly supportive so far.

 

They’d been stuck in the same tiny apartment for weeks now. Dean had been pretty much 24/7 with Sam for fear that something might happen to him while he was gone, meaning he hadn’t hustled for quite a while and they were running very low in cash. Dean counted the last few 10s and 20s left in his wallet and grabbed his jacket and keys ready to go to some bar and ‘earn’ some money.

 

“Where are you going?” Sam asked his brother seeing he was getting ready to go out.

 

“We need money.”

 

“Okay, let’s go.”

 

“You’re not coming.”

 

“Here we go again!” Sam said rolling his eyes.

 

“You’re not coming, Sam, I mean it.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Coz I can’t hustle if I worry about you…if I have to keep an eye on the guys at the bar.”

 

“Precisely!”

 

“What?” Dean asked raising an eyebrow clearly confused.

 

“Listen, Dean, we can use ‘me’, my looks, as diversion. They’ll never see it coming!”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Look at me, just look at me. I’m a ‘girl’, right? That’s all people see.”

 

Dean nodded and then Sam continued “Well, they’ll never expect me to beat them, Dean. We’ll rip them off!”

 

Sam was completely excited. Something good had come out of it…finally! However, Dean had his doubts.

 

“I don’t know, Sam. I don’t think it’s a great idea.”

 

Sam then crossed his arms and stood completely upright so that his breasts stood out, and took a few steps towards his brother while he said softening his voice “C’mon, Dean, I’m sure it’ll work. We can at least give it a try…see if it works.”

 

Dean saw Sam crossing his arms and walking towards him. He could swear Sam was saying something to him but having Sam’s rack in front row made it impossible for him to focus on anything else. Man, he wanted to stretch his arms out, close the gap between him and his brother and feel the weight of those round mounds on his hands. They looked full and perky, and Dean bet they felt –and tasted– awesome.

 

God!!! What was he doing? He knew that if he let himself go on fantasizing he’d be hard in no time and Sam would see it and call him a perv –not that it wasn’t true at the time– so he somehow came back to his senses and forced his eyes to stop staring at those round mounds. They reluctantly obeyed and focused on Sam’s face instead. It was only then that Dean finally listened to what Sam was saying.

 

“…we can at least give it a try…see if it works…it seems to be working just fine with you.”

 

Sam concluded his sentence with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Dean couldn’t believe what had just happened. The little brat knew exactly the effect ‘she’ was having on him.

 

“You, son of a bitch!”

 

Sam then laughed lightly and explained “Please, Dean, don’t be mad! I was just trying to prove my point,” sensually running a finger along Dean’s chest.

 

“Are you leading me on?” Dean asked wide-eyed.

 

Dean wanted to kill Sam, better still, throw this hot girl on the nearest bed and show ‘her’ not to mess with him, but that probably wasn’t the best idea.

 

“Why? Did it work?” Sam asked smirking again.

 

“I can’t believe what you just…I don’t care, you’re not coming and that’s final.”

 

“Oh, please, Dean, ‘pleeeeaaaazzzzzzzeeeee’!”

 

This time Sam wasn’t being sexy, quite the contrary, he was pulling his puppy-dog eyes and looking as sweet and innocent as he could. Dean knew that Sam was fully aware of it all: the brunette knew that the puppy eyes were far more effective now that he was a girl and yet that wasn’t the worst part because Dean still wanted to throw ‘girl!Sam’ on the closest bed and do all sorts of things to her just as badly as before. In fact, Dean couldn’t decide what was hotter: an overtly sexy Sam or an innocent begging Sam…man, he’d certainly love to play till he found out which one he liked best, though he guessed he’d be equally enthralled by both sides of Sam’s personality.

 

Sam kept locking gazes with Dean, with those deep brown eyes of his, as he insisted and begged the eldest to let him help. Dean resisted as much as he could but soon realized it was a losing battle –Sam never took ‘no’ for an answer– so in the end, he gave in. Sam was delighted he’d gotten his way and said he’d be right back before grabbing his duffel and locking himself in the bathroom.

 

Dean sat down on a chair considering the possibility of leaving then and there while Sam was busy in the bathroom. He knew it’d be really easy for him to sneak out but then he realized he’d have to deal with a seriously pissed off girl when he got back and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to put up with that. So, he let go of a breath and patiently waited for his brother.

 

Sam was taking too long in the bathroom –what was he doing in there anyways?– so Dean turned the TV on and surfed channels. There was nothing good on, though, and he got bored pretty soon. He turned the TV off and paced the room not knowing how to kill time. He checked the salt lines and then scanned the room to make sure everything was in place. He was growing impatient by the minute when he yelled “C’mon, Sam! What the hell are you doing in there? It’s been twenty minutes already!”

 

“Stop yelling, Dean! I’m almost done…I’ll be out in 5!” Sam yelled back.

 

Sam took one last look at the female on the mirror feeling incredibly awkward. It still felt strange to have some girl staring back at him every time he looked at a mirror, but he sucked in a breath, mustered up some courage and stepped outside of the bathroom.

 

Dean looked at his watch one more time wondering how much longer Sam would need to get ready and thinking his brother had no doubt turned into his ‘sister’ now.

 

Dean turned around and was about to yell at his brother again when he saw Sam, when he saw ‘her’, standing in the doorway.

 

Sam was wearing the black dress Dean had gotten her and it looked damn hot, way hotter than Dean ever imagined. It was so short you could barely call it a dress –more like some long shirt– and it fitted Sam so tight it looked like a second skin, thus not leaving much to the imagination. Dean could clearly see Sam’s narrow waist and slender hips and the round curve of her butt. He instantly felt an all too familiar warmth pooling in his groin but he couldn’t take his eyes off Sam. His eyes kept going up till they reached Sam’s breasts, Sam’s full perky breasts, which were beautifully displayed for him. Fine, not entirely, but what he could see was a promise of what lay under the black garment and he wished he could place his hands –and his mouth!– on them and indulge in that soft skin.

 

Dean knew what would happen if he didn’t stop staring at Sam’s body real soon so he kept looking up and focused on Sam’s face thinking it’d be safer…and he couldn’t be more wrong! For starters, Sam was wearing her hair down, which he adored, those dark waves framing her sweet face and caressing every inch of that creamy skin. Man, he wanted ‘so’ badly to close the gap between him and Sam, run his fingers through that glossy mane and kiss Sam like there was no tomorrow.

 

“What do you think?” Sam asked.

 

Dean saw Sam’s lips moving but he couldn’t make out the words too lost in his own musings so he forced himself to pay attention.

 

“Hey, Dean? C’mon, do you think it’ll do the trick?”

 

Dean looked up and down at Sam assessing her one last time: the shapely legs, the round butt, the firm breasts, and that innocent-looking face, and Dean thought Sam was just…’perfect’. The most beautiful and perfect creature he’d ever seen.

 

Dean didn’t know how but he somehow managed to respond this time “Yeah, I guess” and then added “let’s get going…it’s kinda late already,” before turning around and heading outside knowing that if he stayed there a second longer staring at Sam he’d give himself away.

 

Dean got in his car and was soon joined by Sam. Dean was fully aware of the ‘hard’ night that was ahead of him –literally– and thought it wiser to get his mind off Sam and focus on getting some money instead. Hence, Dean fixed his eyes on the road ahead and started driving towards some bar he’d seen in a nearby town. There were other places much closer to where they were currently staying but it was never smart to hustle where they were working or staying, particularly now, so even being short of cash and gas, it was a lot smarter to do it as far away as possible.

 

Dean noticed that Sam was quiet, unusually quiet, and then he heard the rustling of some plastic bag he was going through. After a couple of minutes, Sam took out a small pinkish tube, removed the cap and brought it close to his lips. Dean frowned wondering what his brother was up to and then realized it was one of those shiny things girls put on their lips. Dean saw the youngest Winchester out of the corner of his eye parting those luscious lips and slowly gliding the lip gloss on them. Having never done this before, Sam took his time applying the make-up doing his best to get it right. Then, he pressed his lips together and studied his handiwork on a small mirror. Once done, he turned to Dean and asked “So? What d’you think? Did I get it right?”

 

Dean looked at Sam and replied “Yeah, sure” thinking “it’s ‘Sammy’, it’s your ‘brother’. This is just some stupid side effect! Pull it together, Winchester!” still wanting Sam as badly as before.

 

The rest of the drive was rather silent. Sam wouldn’t admit it but he was nervous by the whole thing. Hustling when he was a guy was one thing, but doing it as a girl? Well, that was a whole of a lot different.

 

True, it’d been his idea to begin with, and it seemed good at the time –hell, more than good– but now that he had to put it in practice, he wasn’t so sure about it. And yet, there was no way he’d let Dean know. It’d only give him the perfect excuse to turn the car around and never, ever, try something like this again. No, he was going to man up –so to speak- and go through with the plan. He’d never been a wuss and girl or not he wasn’t going to start now.

 

Dean parked outside the bar and turned to Sam.

 

“You ready?”

 

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Sam replied trying to sound as confident as possible.

 

The whole point of Sam wearing those clothes was to use him, ‘her’, actually, as some kind of secret weapon. So, the brothers thought it best if nobody there knew they were together. Dean hated the idea but quickly admitted it made sense and agreed to it. Besides, the sooner they made some money, the sooner they’d get out of there and go back to the apartment –and Sam would be safe under his watch…and away from the guys at the bar.

 

“C’mon, Dean, what are you waiting for?...Let’s do this fast…I can’t wait to get out of this ‘dress’!” Sam said mortified.

 

Dean nodded thinking “yeah, Sammy, can’t wait to get you out of that dress either.” The second that thought went through his head Dean forced himself to focus “Damn it! Not again!...focus, Dean, just freaking focus!”

 

Dean walked into the bar first and ordered a beer while he scanned the place. Just like he’d expected, the bar was filled with truckers and tons of ‘unfriendly’ faces –though dangerous looking was way more accurate! Some guys were playing pool and others were busy at a game of poker.

 

Dean didn’t like the place, not one bit. Actually, the place wasn’t the problem. He’d been in joints like this thousands of times, what he didn’t like was ‘his girl’ there with all those guys around.

 

Right then, the door opened and Sam stepped inside. Sam had intentionally left his jacket in the car and just like Dean had expected everyone’s eyes were on ‘her’ in under a second. Dean hated the way each and every single man at the bar ogled Sam, ‘his’ Sammy, and he had to resort to all of his self-control not to beat the crap out of them.

 

Dean sipped at his beer wishing it was whiskey instead, but no whiskey or tequila shots tonight, he had to stay alert and keep Sammy safe.

 

Sam instantly sensed the eyes of those sleazy pervs on him and shook off the feeling of disgust in his stomach. Now was not the time to chicken out, particularly when things seemed to be going as planned. So, he took a breath and sat down at a table. Soon a couple of guys approached him and bought him a drink. Dean kept his eyes practically glued on them, ready to jump in if necessary –and he ‘so’ wanted to mop the floor with them, the way they were staring at Sam’s ass and tits was too much for him to bear.

 

Sam was doing a good job playing the bimbo. He was laughing at the two men’s stupid jokes and soon got them to one of the pool tables. The three of them were soon playing while the brunette pretended not to know what she was doing constantly missing her shots. After playing so badly for a while, Sam had lost most of her cash, naturally, but then the men were now drunk and easier to talk into anything Sam proposed.

 

“Oh, please, guys, one last game…c’mon, you gotta give me a chance to win my money back,” Sam begged with those puppy-dog eyes.

 

“Okay, sugar, but only ‘cause I ‘love’ seeing you bent over the table,” one of the guys replied all heady and lustful.

 

That was it. There was only so much a guy could take and Dean was more than ready to kill the douche. Actually, he was about to stand up and walk straight to the pool table when he saw Sam winking at him letting him know that everything was under control.

 

“Oh, really? Well, then let’s make it more interesting…how about all or nothing? Everything I’ve got against everything you’ve got, huh?”

 

The man raised an eyebrow and said “honey, I got seven hundred and you ain’t have that kind of money over there…I’ll tell you what, though, we’ll do it your way and if you lose, well, I’m damn sure we’ll find ya a way to pay your bet, doll,” he added leering all over Sam and then spanking her lightly.

 

Sam wanted to shoot the guy right there on the spot but knowing it’d do no good, he smiled and played along. Besides, Dean was already walking towards them with a murderous gleam in his eyes. Luckily, the men were busy ordering some more drinks and arranging the balls on the table for their next game, and they didn’t see Sam locking gazes with his brother and shaking her head to him. Of course, Dean got the message “Dean, I’m fine, stay out of it,” but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to kick those bastards’ asses any less. Yet, he stopped in mid-stride and sat at a nearby table.

 

The men were pretty drunk and it didn’t take Sam much to beat them. Trouble was they clearly had no intention of paying their bet…or keeping their hands off Sam. So far, Sam had managed to keep things under control but the guys were totally wasted now and ignored her protests, and then one of them grabbed her ass while he said “C’mere, baby, and gimme some sugar!”

 

Sam had her small hands on the guy’s chest trying to push him away, but failing dismally, while she told him to stop and get off her. Suddenly, Sam felt a strong arm around her waist dragging her away from the douche and instantly knew that Dean had come to the rescue. Dean quickly stood between the brunette and the two men and looked at them menacingly “the lady’s not interested. Why don’t you give her her money and leave her alone?”

 

“And what if I don’t?” one of the men answered. 

 

Sam, who was still standing behind dean, looked at the man and said “yeah, I won, now give me my money!”

 

The guy laughed loudly, looked up and down at Sam, and finally said “c’mere, doll, lemme give ya somethin’ else” as he grabbed his groin in an obscene gesture. And that was the worst he could have done because the next thing he saw was Dean’s fist connecting with his jaw, which sent him flying across the pool table.

 

Dean wasn’t happy about it at all. He had no interest in starting a bar brawl, not now, not with Sam, being a girl…in ‘that’ dress. So, he grabbed Sam’s hand and got out of there fast before anyone else decided to start throwing punches…or putting his hands on Sam. The brothers got into the Impala and Dean stepped on the gas trying to put as much distance between the bar and them as possible.

 

Sam was still a little freaked out and Dean, well, Dean was clearly pissed.

 

“This was a stupid idea, Sam, a ‘really’ stupid idea!” his nostrils practically flaring.

 

“No, it wasn’t, look, Dean” Sam said showing him a roll of bank notes “we made at least eight hundred!”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“The money on the table…I took it when you punched that guy. It’s good money, Dean. We’ve never made this much before!”

 

“I don’t care! We’re never doing this again. D’you get that?”

 

“Oh, come on! Like we’ve never been in bar fights before…when hustling,” Sam replied rolling her eyes.

 

“You just don’t get it, do you? Those guys didn’t wanna ‘fight’ with you, Sam. Hell, that douchebag had his hands all over you…if I hadn’t been there…”

 

“Yeah, but you were. ‘Sides, that was kind of the point, right? Me, wearing this slutty dress so I could lead them on and rip ‘em off…Dean, nothing happened, okay?”

 

“Whatever!”

 

And that was the last word uttered in the Impala for the rest of the drive. Sam didn’t say it but he’d been pretty scared when that guy had been all over him and grabbed his butt like that. He’d tried to push him away real hard but that hadn’t worked at all. Luckily, Dean had stepped in immediately and saved him. Now that Sam went through it all over again in his head, he realized that Dean was actually a big guy. Ever since his growth spurt –which had left him with a number of weird nicknames like ‘Ginormo’ or ‘Sasquatch’– Sam had been larger than his brother and he’d sort of forgotten that Dean was big too.

 

Sam remembered how relieved and protected he’d felt when Dean hooked his arm around him and had him away from the guy in no time and then when he stood right between him and the two guys, now that Sam thought about it, Dean had resembled a massive wall protecting him from the world. The youngest Winchester smiled to himself at the image: Dean had always taken care of him, always shielded him, and he’d done that yet again, only this time ‘literally’.

 

They arrived at the apartment and Dean walked right in without saying a word. Okay, Dean was pissed. Sam got it and guessed it was up to him to make peace.

 

“Hey…Dean?” Sam said approaching the blonde.

 

“Yeah?” Dean asked dryly.

 

“Thanks!” Sam said throwing his arms around him and burying his face on his shoulder.

 

That pretty much melted Dean’s heart, who hugged Sam back, saying “it’s okay, Sammy.”

 

Sam looked up at him with a brilliant smile and kissed him on the cheek before saying “well, I think I’m gonna take a shower and get out of these clothes. You don’t mind if I shower first, do you?”

 

“Course, not.”

 

“Okay, thanks!”

 

Dean saw Sam walking into the bathroom smiling back at him and he couldn’t help wondering if the curvy brunette was wearing the thong he’d gotten for her.

 

“Oh, Dean, stop that!” he told himself before lying down on his bed. Yet, he had to admit that having Sammy hugging him lovingly and then kissing him on his cheek had felt damn good…it’d been ‘sweet’…and he’d liked it…a lot!


	8. Chapter 8

  
Author's notes: Hi, again! Thanks so much for all your reviews and comments! You're the best and I'm so happy you're enjoying my fic! :-) I'm truly sorry I keep taking so long to update it but, like I said before, I've been really busy lately.  
Anyway, I want you to know that I've got the whole fic drafted, I 'just' need to find the time to sit down and actually write down the chapters. By the way, there are still several more coming...hopefully soon!  
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* * *

After the events of the previous night, Dean thought it best to keep a low profile and avoid public places, namely bars, for a while. He was still a little edgy and all he wanted to do was lie down and sleep till next Sunday but Sam was so excited about all the money they’d made that Dean soon realized it wasn’t going to happen.

 

“Please, Dean! C’mon! Let’s go out celebrate! We’ve got all this money now!”

 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we should go spend it. We need it for food and gas.”

 

“I know and I’m not saying we spend it all, Dean,” Sam explained rolling his eyes “I just wanna go out for a beer or something…you know, to celebrate how I ripped them off!”

 

“How ‘you’ ripped them off?”

 

“Yeah, that’s what ‘I’ did,” Sam replied frowning.

 

“Well, don’t get me wrong, Sam, but if I remember correctly ‘I’ had to save your ass last night.”

 

“Fine, but that was the plan to begin with, right? It worked like a charm…just like I told ya!”

 

Dean didn’t quite agree with Sam. He couldn’t really see how Sam being molested by those truckers equaled to a brilliant plan but he didn’t feel like arguing about it…again –Dean had already yelled at Sam for it the previous day– so he simply shook his head without uttering a word.

 

Sam could always tell when Dean was about to give in, so he approached his brother and sweetly said “please, Dean, just a beer in town. I’m buying!”

 

“Stop it with the puppy eyes, Sam,” Dean replied and then added “wanna go out real bad, don’t you?” remembering that only two weeks ago Sam had repeatedly refused to step outside the apartment and that he’d tried almost everything to make him go out. And now his baby brother couldn’t wait to hit the bars.

 

“Fine, let’s go have a beer then.”

 

“Great!”

 

Dean didn’t want to bump into any of the men from the previous night so he drove around town doing his best at making sure they were nowhere to be found. They’d hustled in a different town, true, but then why not take some extra precautions just in case?

 

“Dean, where are you going? You drove past several bars already. I don’t think there’s any other left in town.”

 

“I know. I don’t wanna run into those truckers again, that’s all.”

 

“Yeah, but we were hustling pretty far, Dean. I don’t think they’re gonna come over all the way down here. It’s not like there’s anything special about these bars…same old dumps…Besides, how could you possibly know if they’re around?”

 

“Saw all the cars and trucks outside the bar last night before we went in.”

 

“Oh, okay. So…any of those vehicles in town right now?”

 

“No.”

 

“So we’re good then,” Sam said enthusiastically and then pleaded “just pick a bar…please.”

 

Sam knew exactly what Dean was doing: checking the town upside down and making sure the place was safe before they went into a bar and relaxed. Just like he checked the salt lines and slept on the bed closest to the door…it was Dean being his usual protective self. It was Dean being Dean.

 

Dean spotted one of the bars he’d driven past three times already and thought it was okay. Well, not really ‘okay’, but it wasn’t any worse than the other two bars in town. He parked the Impala and the brothers walked inside.

 

Sam was wearing jeans and a plain red top under his jacket but he still turned heads when he –well, ‘she’, actually– walked into the bar. Funny though that he failed to see it. Unlike Dean, who immediately sent murderous looks to all the men there.

 

Dean had been reluctant from the very beginning because he could tell what would happen: the second Sam set foot inside a bar, all eyes would be on ‘her’ and Dean would be madly jealous and furious both at the same time knowing exactly what those sleazy dogs were thinking. After all, Dean had the very same thoughts whenever he looked at Sam!

 

The brothers sat at a table and Dean did his best to try and stay cool. Not that it was an easy task with all those eyes glued on Sam practically ‘doing’ her, and worse still since Dean wanted to do that very same thing. And yet, the eldest managed to keep his urges on check and pretended nothing was going on.

 

Ever since Sam had turned, Dean had noticed some changes in his brother. Nothing too dramatic, just small things, deep down Sam was still Sam, and yet there were little things that Dean didn’t fail to see: Sam had acquired some habits like tucking his hair behind his ears. True, he’d done that already when he was a guy with that mop of his but now it was different, it was more delicate…more ‘feminine’. Dean also noticed Sam now sat with his legs –actually ‘her’ legs– pressed together and at times, even crossed.

 

Fine, no big deal, just things girls usually did, but then that was the whole point: Sam was acting more ‘girly’. The subtle sway of the hips when Sam walked, her graceful stride, the now softer, more delicate movements. It was beyond weird and Dean guessed it all had to do with the curse. The freaking curse thanks to which he was having the hots for Sammy…pretty much like every guy in a 10 mile radius it seemed!

 

Dean looked at Sam for a short while and sipped at his beer amazed at how unaware his brother was of the effect ‘she’ had on him –and on men for that matter. Sam was happily chattering about how ‘easily’ they’ve made some money completely oblivious of the way Dean and everyone else was checking ‘her’ out.

 

Dean couldn’t help wondering why Sam was so clueless and then concluded that being a female for such a short time meant Sam hadn’t had the time to actually realize how men acted around hot chicks.

 

Let’s face it, Sam had always been geeky and shy around girls. Dean still couldn’t believe he’d managed to get a girlfriend –a ‘hot’ one!– in college. And now that Sam was a girl, well, he wasn’t really prepared to deal with men, especially the kind they usually ended up dealing with. Not that it was the kid’s fault, women had a lifetime to adapt and learn how to behave and stay out of trouble, and Sam had been in this female form for less than two months.

 

And yet, Dean couldn’t help smiling at his brother, so innocent looking and completely unaware of everything that was going on around him. Sam looked…adorable…yes, that was the word that best described ‘her’, and Dean wanted nothing but to wrap his arms around the sweet girl before him and kiss her till both their lips swelled and hurt. 

 

The blonde quickly realized those ideas would soon give him away so he forced his eyes off Sam. Dean looked around trying to get his mind off the brunette for at least one second and it seemed someone upstairs took pity on him because his eyes quickly landed on a hot waitress. Fine, not as hot as Sam, kind of slutty actually, but then he’d always dug frisky women, and the redhead was exactly what he needed at the moment. 

 

Dean stared at the waitress intently, looked at her really intensely, and she seemed to get the message because in a matter of minutes, she was at their table.

 

“Can I get you anything?” the girl asked.

 

“Beer, please, sweetheart,” Dean replied flashing her his patented I-really-wanna-do-you-right-now smile.

 

“Okay, and what about your girlfriend?”

 

The waitress was just as interested as Dean as he was in her, and was obviously trying to find out who the brunette was.

 

“Oh, no, that’s my sister, Sam,” Dean quickly explained.

 

On hearing those words, the waitress smiled back at Dean and fluttered her lashes clearly excited at the prospect of spending the night with him.

 

“Two beers it is then,” she said as Dean nodded before she added “I’ll be right back, gorgeous.”

 

That said, the redhead walked away from them swaying her hips as seductively as she could.

 

Sam immediately noticed Dean’s eyes fixed on the waitress’s butt and rolled his eyes. The young Winchester wanted to spend some time with his big brother without obsessing over the curse and hunting and all the complicated things that made up their lives. 

 

Sam really wanted to spend some quality time with his brother, have some fun and forget about everything, even if it was for a short while, but then, to Dean, that meant having sex with the closest hot chick, so Sam guessed their night out wouldn’t go as he’d hoped.

 

Sam spent most of the evening seeing how his brother and the waitress flirted and stared at each other with lascivious eyes and quickly got bored. So, when he was done drinking his beer, he announced “Listen, Dean, I’m tired. I’m gonna go back to the apartment, ‘kay?”

 

“Okay, just let me grab my jacket.”

 

“It’s fine. You stay. It’s not that far.”

 

“What? Are you insane? You’re not walking back alone!”

 

“Alright, then gimme the car keys and I’ll drive.”

 

“No, Sam, I’m coming with ya.”

 

“Dean, please,” Sam said rolling his eyes “you and the waitress have been eye-fucking each other since we got here.” 

 

The second those words came out of his mouth, Sam blushed a vivid shade of red. The idea of Dean actually having sex had had the strangest effect on him: images of his brother, his ‘naked’ brother, were flashing through his mind and his heart rate had increased to impossible levels.

 

Luckily, the bar was poorly lit and Dean didn’t see any of it, but Sam knew he had to get out of there fast before Dean noticed –it was Dean, after all, and he never missed a thing when it came to Sam.

 

“C’mon, Dean, when was the last time you had…’fun’? I’ll be fine” Sam said quickly snatching the keys and heading towards the door before his brother could stop him. Luckily, the second the waitress saw Sam ready to leave, she approached the eldest Winchester and blocked his way.

 

“Your sister’s leaving?”

 

“Yeah, she’s tired.”

 

“Oh, I see…my break’s in a few minutes…Why don’t you wait for me in the restroom?” she whispered in his ear as she licked his lobe and nibbled at it.

 

Fine, Dean cared about Sam. He always made sure Sam was safe and sound and he guessed he should drive Sam to the apartment and come back to the bar later…but then this girl was throwing herself at him and he hadn’t had any in a really ‘really’ long time…and well, there was only so much a guy could take.

 

So, Dean pressed his body hard against hers and replied “no need to say that again” in his most sensuous voice.

 

The girl left him and he walked straight to the bathroom. Luckily it was empty and he was very thankful for it since his pants were feeling uncomfortably tight already. A few minutes later, Liz, the waitress, made her way through the door and before Dean could do or say anything, she pushed him inside one of the stalls and locked the door behind her.

 

Dean couldn’t believe his luck and was pretty much desperate for sex so he didn’t object when the girl dropped to her knees, undid his jeans and pulled them and his boxers down, immediately beginning to give long wet licks to his aching member.

 

“I knew you were big, handsome,” said the redhead locking gazes with him before moving her head forward and practically taking all of him in her mouth at once.

 

Dean couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He was having the blowjob of his life. The girl clearly knew what she was doing, in fact, she was sucking him so hard, Dean thought she’d drain him in no time.

 

Dean wasn’t particularly pleased by the idea, he had stamina, and he could last for a really long time when he put his mind to it. But then the redhead was sucking and licking him in such a way that he felt a tingling sensation spreading all over and soon found himself on the verge of an orgasm.

 

Everything happened so fast he couldn’t even warn the girl he was about to come. Not that she particularly minded, though, as he saw her licking whitish drops off her lips once his orgasm subsided and he became aware of what had just happened.

 

“Well…that was fast,” she said mockingly looking up at him.

 

Dean didn’t like the blow to his manhood and wanted to show her what he was capable of between the sheets, but she gave him no time and stood up quickly leaning on him before adding “been a long time, huh? Guess you’ve been too busy watching out for your sis. She’s lucky to have you. With her looks only god knows what those sleazy dogs at the bar would do to her.”

 

That pretty much turned Dean off…for good. Sam going back to the apartment alone had been a really bad idea. He thought so at the time and now the redhead was confirming his suspicions.

 

“Yeah…erm, about that…sorry, but I really gotta get goin’, sugar. My sis is alone and, like you said, it’s not safe out there.”

 

“True,” she agreed and then added “and she’s so sweet-looking…and has a rocking body…how ‘bout I join you? I bet we’ll have so much fun together,” sensually running a finger down his chest.

 

Okay, Dean never saw that one coming: the waitress suggesting a threesome that included Sam…’his’ Sammy.

 

Dean was wide-eyed and lost for words at such prospect –which, in honest truth, didn’t sound bad…at all!- but he quickly pulled himself together and replied “Sorry, baby, but she’s my ‘sister’…I don’t think of her ‘that’ way…I’m not into the whole hillbilly thing” and he gently but firmly pushed her away as he made his way out of the stall.

 

Dean was heading towards the door when the girl laughed loudly before speaking again “hey, gorgeous, you’re not fooling anybody, you know?” She then smiled evilly and added “you can’t wait to have your way with her”

 

Dean froze on his feet. Was he ‘that’ obvious? Could everybody see that he had the hots for Sam? And if so, could Sam see it too?

 

The waitress walked towards him and whispered in his ear “don’t worry, honey, she doesn’t have a clue…the poor little thing has no idea how bad you want her…now if you ever decide to do something about it, please, call me. I bet we could have a great time together. Who knows? I might even help you talk her into it.” 

 

And then she slid a napkin with her digits in his pocket before taking a step back and letting him go.

 

Sam was heading outside the bar and saw the waitress all over Dean. The redhead was pressed against his brother whispering in his ear what surely was an invitation to join her when her shift was over. Sam was sure of that; he didn’t need to hear the actual words to have a pretty good idea of what she was saying. After all, he’d witnessed the same scene more times than he could remember and knew exactly what would follow: Dean would have a few more drinks waiting for her shift to be over and then they’d go to her place and Dean would go back to the motel at daybreak looking relaxed and well-fucked.

 

Sam was grateful Dean wasn’t using the Impala for his ‘dates’ lately since he’d most certainly hate to find panties or bras which didn’t belong to him lying around on the floor or stuck between the seats.

 

Sam was slowly walking towards the car feeling mad and not knowing why he had this weird feeling in his stomach. He was growing angrier and angrier by the minute and didn’t know why. Fine, that waitress had pretty much ruined his night. The idea was to have a good time with Dean and get his mind off everything that was upside down in their lives, even if for only a couple of hours, but then that slutty girl had shown up, stolen Dean’s attention, and ruined his plans. 

 

Right now, Sam literally hated her. He actually wanted to go back inside the bar and tell her to back off. But then, Dean had been so understanding with his situation that the least he could do was cut him some slack and let him enjoy himself, right?

 

Sam went over his feelings again and again until he concluded he was…’jealous’? That shocked him, to say the least, and left him wondering ‘why’ he was feeling that way…stupid curse and its weird side effects!

 

Unfortunately, Sam was too lost in his own musings to notice the man who was stealthily approaching him from behind.

 

“Yeah, I knew it was you, bitch,” the man said angrily.

 

Sam looked up and saw the reflection of his now female body on the window of the Impala, and right behind it, the man’s face. It was dark and the parking lot was poorly lit but Sam recognized him instantly: it was one of the guys they’d ripped off the previous night. Sam’s instincts quickly kicked in but the man already had one arm securely wrapped around the brunette’s middle and his left hand over his mouth. Sam was shaking and twisting trying hard to break free but it soon became obvious that he was overpowered. Sam kept fighting all the same but that only seemed to make the bastard happier and he soon had the brunette pressed between the car and himself.

 

Sam felt as if his now small body was being crushed, breathing and moving becoming extremely difficult. Yet, Sam knew that if he panicked and passed out, he’d be at the douchebag’s mercy so he tried to calm down and think of a way to break free…that was until he felt something hard nudging against his butt while the man’s left hand shifted upwards and kneaded his now full breasts.

 

That was something Sam had never expected and then it all got worse when the man licked the Winchester’s neck and whispered in his ear with a hoarse dark voice “that’s okay, gorgeous, you can keep the money…but I’ll make damn sure you earn it.”

 

On hearing those words, Sam finally became aware of the situation he was in and what was about to happen. He was filled with fear but that gave him a renewed strength to fight back, not that it worked, though, since the man was big and was effortlessly keeping him in place. Realizing he wouldn’t be able to overpower him, Sam thought it best to shout for help. He knew Dean would come to the rescue the second he heard him calling for him, but then the man seemed to guess what he was thinking “No, no, no, sugar…I don’t want anyone around right now…I want you all to myself” and he tightened his grip on his mouth.

 

That said, the man dragged Sam to his truck, which was parked at the far end of the parking lot, away from the other cars and street lights.

 

He opened the door and threw Sam inside. The young Winchester knew he had under a second to call for Dean, but the man was faster than him and instantly had his hand over Sam’s mouth and this time, his nose as well. With the in-take of air cut off, Sam knew he’d pass out in a matter of minutes. And yet, he kept fighting. He twisted and punched and scratched every inch of flesh he had access to but that only seemed to please the man. “Yeah, baby, I like the feisty ones.” 

 

Soon, Sam felt light-headed and a few seconds later darkness took over.


	9. Chapter 9

  
Author's notes: Wow! Thanks so much for all the reviews –I love your comments and they really encourage me to go on writing!  
Also, can’t believe all the ratings and that several of you have made my fic one of your favorite stories.  
Tks a lot, guys!  
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* * *

Dean left the bar and started walking towards the apartment. It was a chilly night but after the redhead’s ministrations, he was still sweating. Not that he’d admit the real reason behind his sweat was that the girl had seen right through him and that he feared Sam might be fully aware of what was going on with him –no matter how true that might be.

 

He was about to cross the street when he noticed the Impala was still there. Sam hadn’t left yet? That was weird…wasn’t Sam tired? His hunting instincts instantly kicked in and he rushed towards the car sensing that something was definitely wrong, which he confirmed the second he saw his keys lying on the ground near the door…and Sam out of sight. 

 

His heart started beating faster and faster as he looked around trying to find any signs indicating what had happened to his brother. There was no sulfur around, which meant demons had nothing to do with Sam’s disappearance, but then there was a bunch of other things that could have taken Sam. He looked closely at the ground near the car and found no signs of blood. Good, at least Sam wasn’t hurt. But then he saw some tire marks and felt a knot forming in his stomach as he thought “Oh, God…no!”

 

When Sam opened ‘her’ eyes, ‘she’ saw stars…literally. ‘She’ still felt dizzy so she rubbed her eyes and focused on the view before her: a starry sky. She was confused and had no idea where she was or what was going on until she felt a freezing freeze caressing her now curvy body. She immediately realized that she was naked -completely naked- and that she was lying in the back of the truck…and that the man was right there with her, undoing his pants and looking at ‘her’ lustfully.

 

Sam immediately tried to stand up and make a run for it but the man pushed her down. So, Sam tried screaming instead and, surprisingly, the scum didn’t stop her. Quite the contrary, he let the brunette shout her lungs out till she was left gasping and panting for air from the exertion. Then, the man laughed loudly announcing “Scream all you want, sugar…there’s no one around…in miles!” And then he leaned down and pressed his mouth on Sam’s.

 

The young Winchester kept her lips sealed together and felt teeth and tongue nibbling and licking them but there was no way she’d let the sob in. Not that it mattered, though, since the man forced her mouth open with his hand and shoved his tongue inside her mouth as far as it would go.

 

Sam was practically choking when the man broke the kiss out of breath. He then tilted her head and slowly and lazily licked her smooth skin, from the base of her neck all the way up to her ear, over and over again.

 

He was using his weight as leverage, which left his hands free to roam Sam’s body at pleasure. He was literally squeezing one of her breasts and tweaking her nipple so hard Sam knew there would be a pattern of bruises later and yet, that wasn’t the worst part because he shifted his other hand down south and glided his fingers between her folds. Sam gasped wide-eyed in response and the man simply laughed and whispered in her ear “Not wet, baby?” And then smirking and looking into her eyes he added “Too bad…gonna hurt like hell then!”

 

He then proceeded to lift his weight off Sam, who was paralyzed with fear, and pulled his pants and shorts down. She instantly saw his member fully erect and glistening with precome and knew exactly what was going to happen next. She knew she had to hit him hard and run but her body refused to obey any orders her brain sent out. She just lay there, frozen and completely powerless. It was as if it wasn’t happening, as if it was somebody else lying down there on the truck, and despite her increasing heart rate, Sam found it impossible to move. 

 

The man knelt and grabbed her legs bringing her towards him. Next, he spread them wide open and pushed them up till the underside of her knees was resting on his arms while his hands firmly secured Sam’s wrists.

 

Sam was wide-eyed and breathing so fast she was almost hyperventilating and the man was clearly enjoying things: keeping her constrained and fearful seemed to be quite a turn on for him. From where she was lying, she could see his manhood aiming at her core and knew there was no way out of it and right then she felt it nudging at her entrance. That seemed to spark something inside her because she started squirming and screaming “No! No! Lemme go!!!”

 

“Not in a million years, sugar…gonna fuck your pussy first and then you ass…gonna give it so hard to you, you won’t walk straight for a week” the man answered laughing evilly.

 

She kept twisting and squirming under him shaking her head uncontrollably knowing she was at his mercy, knowing that this was going to happen no matter how hard she fought back.

 

The man seemed more and more excited and clearly loved Sam’s futile efforts to push him away and break free. He smirked enjoying the sight before him and said “Bet you’ve got a tight pussy, don’t ya, doll?...Yeah, I’m sure you do…and how ‘bout your ass? Bet you’re a virgin, aren’t you? Sure you are…it looks so small and tight…gonna fuck your pussy first…and then your ass…gonna give it real hard to you…gonna tear you apart and make you scream…and when I’m done, gonna make you blow me…we’ve got all night…you’ll see…gonna have so much fun!”

 

And then, all of a sudden, when all hope seemed lost, Sam saw the man literally flying towards the left side of the truck and practically smashing his head in the process. Sam had no idea what was going on till she saw Dean jumping into the truck and beating the crap out of him. All she could see was Dean’s fists repeatedly connecting with the man’s jaw and ribs till there was nothing left but a bloody mess.

 

Dean kept punching the man blind with rage until his knuckles were raw. He then stopped, stood up, and saw the blood on his hands and shirt. The man was lying on his side unconscious, if not dead, but Dean didn’t give a damn if he was. Not after the things he’d said to Sammy, not after what he’d tried to do to ‘her’. Dean was furious, he wanted to take out his gun and empty it in the guy’s head but then he remembered that Sam, a traumatized Sam, was right there, lying next to him.

 

He looked at the brunette and Sam, ‘his girl’, lying completely still. That scared the hell out of him, what if he’d accidentally hurt Sam while he was beating up the guy? Dean instantly dropped to his knees and asked “Sam?...Sammy?...You okay?” But Sam wouldn’t answer. So, he asked one more time slowly closing the gap between them and lightly touching the brunette’s arm.

 

However, that didn’t seem to be the best move because the second his hand made contact with Sam’s skin, she started shaking and screaming uncontrollably. “No! No! No!” Was all that came out of Sam’s mouth as she kicked and squirmed and shook her head in frenzy.

 

Sam was clearly in shock and Dean’s touch want helping, on the contrary, it seemed to be making things worse, much worse, but then he didn’t want Sam to get hurt so he threw his arms around the brunette and soothingly whispered in her ear “It’s me, Sammy, Dean…please come out of it” over and over again until the words finally sank in and she stopped struggling.

 

“Dean? That you?” She asked looking at him with watery eyes and tear-streaked cheeks.

 

“Yeah, princess…it’s me.”

 

On hearing those words, Sam held him tight and cried bitterly while the blonde stroked her head and back uttering reassuring words. They stayed still in a tight embrace until Sam finally stopped trembling.

 

Dean knew they had to get out of there. The guy wasn’t a threat anymore –as a matter of fact, he was most likely dead. But then, he knew he had to get Sam to safety fast, some place which wasn’t a constant reminder of what had –almost?- happened. So, he took off his jacket and put it around Sam’s shoulders before lifting her up and carrying her in his arms to the car.

 

He drove straight back to the apartment and as the two Winchesters went through the door, Dean took a deep breath trying to get ready for what would follow next: damage control. Rescuing Sam had been the easy part. Well, not that 'easy' actually, considering that he’d driven around town with his foot pretty much glued on the gas and then the neighboring areas till he’d luckily found the road leading to the abandoned factory where he’d found Sam.

 

Dean couldn’t believe he’d been so freaking careless and stupid and let Sam walk out of that bar completely alone. Everything that had happened was his fault. It was as simple as that. He was supposed to take care of Sammy, it was his job, and he’d failed, ‘big time’, just because he’d been too freaking horny. God! He’d been too busy having a blowjob to take care of Sam and, as a result, Sam had been…

 

Dean couldn’t even think of the word, much less say it out loud, guilt slowly eating at him from his very core. He felt his eyes burning with unshed tears as pain seared right through his soul, but then, seeing Sam still terrified, he realized now wasn’t the time for a guilt trip. No, no way, he had to deal with Sam and the consequences of the night’s events and that was exactly what he feared the most: the consequences…he had no clue how much damage that bastard had done…and after what he’d heard, what that perv had said to Sammy, he honestly didn’t know if he wanted to find out.

 

The siblings were both covered in blood and dirt and Dean wasn’t surprised when Sam headed straight to the bathroom. The brunette hadn’t said a word since Dean had held her but she seemed to be okay. There weren’t any physical wounds in plain sight but then that was exactly what worried Dean the most: he had no way to tell if Sam was ‘actually’ hurt physically.

 

Dean heard the water running as images of what had happened played over and over again in his mind: Sam…naked…frightened…screaming…powerless…and that perv…kissing…licking…touching…adjusting his position in order to penetrate Sam.

 

A cold shiver ran through his spine not knowing if the scum had actually achieved his goal. He’d felt such blinding fury on seeing what he was doing and hearing his words that he’d lost it and hadn’t really seen much beyond that point.

 

He looked at his watch and noticed that Sam had been in the shower for too long –way too long– so he gently knocked on the door and asked “Sammy? You okay?” But got no response so he asked again “Hey, Sammy? Need any help?” And yet, nothing.

 

Something was wrong.

 

“Hey, listen, I’m going in, ‘kay?” he said slowly pushing the door and making his way in. 

 

At first, he couldn’t see much, the bathroom was filled with steam so he focused and managed to make out Sam’s silhouette in the shower. He rubbed his eyes and focused one more time and what he saw crushed him: Sam was sobbing and rubbing her arms, her legs, her entire body, so hard that her skin was already sporting a vivid shade of red.

 

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat trying to control his increasing guilt and slowly approached the brunette announcing his presence with soft words.

 

“Hey, Sammy? Not gonna get any cleaner than that…c’mon, let’s get you outta there.”

 

The young Winchester still wouldn’t answer so Dean drew the curtain shower open and carefully took the brush from Sam’s small hand, and felt the water scalding his skin. His eyes instantly shifted to the faucet and saw that the cold water was off.

 

“Sam, what the hell? You’re literally scalding yourself!” he yelled as he threw his arms around Sam and pushed ‘his girl’ towards him in a quick motion.

 

“I just wanna get clean!” the brunette finally said in tears.

 

Dean studied Sam quickly but carefully and immediately noticed the scratches the brush had left on her skin as well as the finger-shaped bruises that were beginning to show.

 

“Gimme the brush back…gotta get clean,” Sam uttered hesitantly.

 

Dean gently caressed the scratches and rested his forehead on hers. They locked gazes as Dean held her tight in his arms protectively.

 

“Please…stop…you’re hurting yourself,” the eldest pleaded.

 

“I-I-I…just wanna get clean,” she explained in a small voice.

 

“You already are, Sammy.”

 

“But, but…”

 

“Please…for me?”

 

“Okay,” she nodded.

 

Sam then hugged him back before burying her face in his shoulder and crying inconsolably. 

 

Dean felt quilt and pain spreading all over him in increasing waves. He never thought that a feeling could actually hurt so much. It was almost physical. He could swear he felt thousands of pins and needles slowly and painfully piercing through every inch of him. It hurt so bad he felt his eyes filling with tears and his breath becoming uneven.

 

He’d felt like this once only: that time when he was about nine and Sam almost got killed because he’d chosen to ignore Dad’s orders and left Sammy alone in their room because he wanted to play some lousy video game.

 

And now, it was as if it all was happening again: once again he’d failed to protect Sammy because he’d wanted to ‘play’.

 

Dean’s guilt soared to whole new levels: this was much worse. Back then, Sammy hadn’t been hurt and the kid had eventually forgotten all about it –thank God! But now, Dean wasn’t so sure Sam was ‘okay’ and he knew there was no way Sam would ‘ever’ forget.

 

Dean was so caught up in his own guilt and trying so hard to stop his tears from falling that Sam’s words went unheard: “Not your fault, Dean.”

 

The brunette knew the eldest all too well and knew exactly what was going on in his mind, and there was no way the young Winchester would allow it. That perv had done enough damage already, no way she’d let him get to Dean as well. So, she wrapped her arms around him and held on to him for dear life.

 

Suddenly, Dean felt Sam’s slim arms holding him tight and heard her mumbling something. He’d been so selfishly caught up in his own guilt that he’d been doing a lousy job at comforting her.

 

Dean left feather-like kisses on top of Sam’s head and tenderly caressed her back. The brunette started to calm down almost instantly, his soothing touch far more effective than he’d expected, and he began to calm down as well.

 

Little by little his guilt was put aside as a warm feeling began to spread through him. And then, out of the blue, it hit him: he was holding Sam…in the shower…and he had ‘her’ all to himself.

 

Dean couldn’t believe this was happening. Here he was with Sam –a ‘naked’ girl!Sam– in his arms, who was letting him hold ‘her’ tight and stroke her as much as wanted. He’d wished for this to happen so hard and for so long, but he never imagined, not in a million years, that it’d be like this –careful what you wish for! The last thing he wanted to do right now was take advantage of Sam. All he wanted to do was hold Sam tight forever and protect her, make all her pain and fear go away and ensure she was safe. 

 

“Dean?”

 

“Yeah, Sammy? What is it?”

 

“Erm…you’re holding me too tight.”

 

“Sorry, baby…better now?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Both Winchesters were enjoying the bitter sweet embrace and feeling how a strong and particularly intense feeling stopped them from breaking it. None said a word but they were fully aware of the increasing intensity of the emotion. Besides, it felt so good none dare to do or say anything that might ruin it.

 

“You okay, Sammy?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yeah, why d’you keep asking?”

 

“Well, ‘coz you’re shaking.”

 

“Oh, that…yeah, well, I’m kinda cold.”

 

Dean then remembered that Sam was naked and clearly freezing her butt off and she’d better put some clothes on before she caught a cold and above all, before his downstairs brain decided to join in. So far, the dude had kept quiet but now that Sam had calmed down a little and things were slowly beginning to be under control, Dean knew the dude would make his presence known in no time.

 

“Right, I’ll go now so you can put some clothes on…’kay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

Dean then left the bathroom and waited for Sam to come out. He was still edgy and mad and he thought a beer might help. So he went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Unfortunately, there wasn’t any left and he cursed through his teeth.

 

A few minutes later, Dean heard Sam stepping out of the bathroom and walking into the bedroom.

 

Dean knew that he had to talk to Sam, actually ‘talk’ about what had happened that night but seeing that he was somewhat wet and still bloody and dirty, he guessed he could take a quick shower first. Besides, it’d help him get some of the edge out of him.

 

Sam was busy putting some clothes away when he saw Dean coming into the bedroom. The blonde just come out of the shower and wasn’t wearing that many clothes: a ratty tee and boxers, but then Sam wasn’t wearing that much either. He’d put on one of his former shirts, which he now always wore to bed.

 

“Sorry if I used up all the hot water.”

 

“It’s okay, Sammy.”

 

The brunette was still busy putting things away and Dean knew he had to say something. He had to know…he just had no clue how to go about it, so he did the usual: hit it head on.

 

“You okay, Sammy?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“No, listen, Sam…are.you.okay?...are you…’hurt’?...did he…’hurt’ you?”

 

“I’m fine, Dean!”

 

“No, you’re not. And you gotta tell me exactly what that scum did to you.”

 

“Nothing much, you showed up just in time, Dean.”

 

“Did I? ‘Coz it didn’t look like that to me.”

 

Sam sat on the bed with his head down. “Why do you wanna know? What good can it do?”

 

Dean sat next to his brother and replied “I need to know, Sam, I have to know” while thinking “God, I don’t wanna know…please tell me nothing happened…tell me he didn’t…” and then he added “it’s not something I can…’we’ can fix ourselves…gotta know if you need to go to a hospital.”

 

“I don’t need to go to any freaking hospital! I’m fine, Dean!” Sam yelled standing up.

 

“You’re clearly not fine, Sam! You can’t be! No one could!” the eldest yelled back and then continued in a softer tone “please talk to me…tell me what happened.”

 

“I told ya already. Just drop it, Dean!” 

 

“Like hell I will! So you’d better start talking!”

 

“Fine! You wanna know what happened? Well, here it is. I left the bar and was walking to the parking lot and didn’t hear that douche approaching from behind and he grabbed me and shoved me into his truck and I tried to shout and call you but he had his hand over my mouth so I couldn’t, and then I couldn’t breathe and I passed out but I fought the whole time” Sam was pacing the room like a caged animal and talking so fast and loud his words were barely intelligible “and then I opened my eyes and I was in the back of the truck…naked…and that scumbag was there too and then…and then…and then you showed up.”

 

“Please, Sammy.”

 

“What is it that you wanna know so badly? That I fought really hard and it was pointless? That now that I am ‘this’” Sam said pointing at his female body “I’m weak and pathetic and you have to save me 24/7? That that bastard ‘kissed’ me…’licked’ me…’touched’…” and then Sam froze in mid-sentence.

 

Of course, Dean immediately asked “touched you…’where’?”

 

Sam looked down, embarrassed, and after a few seconds replied “you know, down…’there’.”

 

Dean felt his heart sinking. God, things apparently were as bad as he’d imagined. He had to know for sure, though, so he asked “tell me…did ‘e…?” thinking “please tell me he didn’t, Sammy.”

 

Sam shook his head and said “he touched my…but didn’t stick his fingers inside…and then he said I wasn’t wet and it was gonna hurt like hell…and that he was gonna fuck my pussy first and then my ass and then he was gonna make me suck ‘im and he was enjoying it and he had me pinned down to the truck but then he kinda let go of me so that he could put his pants down and I should’ve started fighting again but instead I…I…I froze…I ‘fucking’ froze! I couldn’t move! And he noticed and so he pushed my legs up and said he was gonna give it real hard to me, tear me apart, and then I saw him and ‘felt’ his…’thing’…nudging at my…and there was nothing I could do to stop ‘im and if you hadn’t showed up…” 

 

Sam was crying hysterically and Dean wished he hadn’t killed the bastard so fast and had taken his time instead. And yet, Dean was relieved knowing that that sleazy perv hadn’t actually achieved his goal.

 

“I ‘hate’ what I am! I ‘hate’ being a chick! I could’ve totally kicked his ass…better still, if I was ‘myself’, if I was really ‘me’, he would’ve never tried anything like this and if he had, he would’ve regretted it!!!”

 

Dean quickly noticed that Sam’s rage was actually masking his increasing fear so he sucked in a breath and walked towards his brother, immediately wrapping his arms around the brunette. Sam was such a wreck now that Dean thought he’d pushed him away, that his touch would make matters worse, just like in the back of the truck. However, it was right the opposite, Sam hugged his big brother back and rested his head on his shoulder, allowing him to provide the comfort he so clearly needed.

 

They stayed like that for a long while. Dean didn’t know how long actually but guessed it must’ve been quite a while when his legs started to feel tired. Sam was resting all of his weight on his body, no wonder considering that night’s events, and Dean thought it best to put Sam to bed. So, he gently walked Sam to the bed and helped him lie down.

 

He was glad Sam wasn’t putting up a fight and complying for once because he was worn out too and in serious need of a rest. Dean was walking towards his bed and noticed Sam sitting on his bed, nervously playing with a lock of his hair.

 

Dean stopped on his feet mesmerized by how sweet and completely ‘adorable’ the brunette looked. He then realized Sam wanted to say something but didn’t dare, so he asked “What is it, Sammy?”

 

“Erm…is it okay if I…? Can you…?” Sam stopped, sucked in a breath mustering up some courage, and finally said “I don’t wanna be alone…can I…sleep with you…please?”

 

That very instant, Dean cursed his stars. How could this be happening to him? Here ‘she’ was, this gorgeous girl, ‘his girl’, actually begging him to share his bed…he’d dreamed of this on more than one occasion and the outcome had been pretty hot! But that wasn’t what Sam was asking for: Sam needed comfort, and Dean, with his ingrained protective nature, was more than willing to oblige.

 

The eldest, who was already tucked in bed, said “Sure, Sammy,” while he patted the mattress invitingly.

 

Sam stood up and joined him, but stuck to his own side of the bed, away from Dean and so close to the edge he was about to fall off. Dean looked at Sam wondering what had gotten into him, it wasn’t the first time they were sharing a bed after all. But then it struck him: Sam feared contact. Sam was still scared and didn’t want to be touched. Dean’s guilt for failing to protect his little brother kicked in again and the blonde felt worthless –even more than usual. 

 

“Not the time for self-pity, Dean…Sam needs you…more than ever,” he thought. He knew he had to do something, fast, before things got even worse. So, he said “What are you doing, Sammy? C’mon, get over here” throwing his arm around Sam and drawing the brunette towards him leaving their bodies pressed together.

 

Sam instantly found himself protectively wrapped in Dean’s arms while the blonde left a trail of tender kisses on his forehead whispering “it’s okay, Sammy…I’ve got you.”

 

Sam was still shaky and upset and Dean, seeing the brunette’s watery eyes, couldn’t help going on yet another guilt trip.

 

“I’m so sorry, Sammy…should’ve known better…shouldn’t have let you go…” Dean began saying, but his words were cut short by the lump in his throat.

 

The young Winchester locked gazes with him and softly stroked his cheek “Listen to me, Dean…it’s not your fault.”

 

“Sammy, we both know if I’d left with you, none of this would’ve” the eldest started explaining, a mix of guilt and remorse and pain permeating his voice in increasing waves.

 

Sam’s initial edginess was slowly being replaced by anger. That douche wasn’t going to hurt Dean. No way he’d let that happen.

 

So, he cut his brother short “Stop it! Right now!” firmly before adding “it’s not your fault. I’m fine, Dean. You ‘did’ save me after all.”

 

“Yeah, but what if I…”

 

“Dean, it’s.not.your.fault,” Sam repeated punctuating the words “the only one to blame here is that bastard, and I’m glad you beat the crap out of him…now, can you please stop feeling guilty for at least five minutes?”

 

Dean was speechless, to put it mildly, and he barely managed to utter “Okay,” still amazed at the way the kid was handling things: not only Sam was calming down and keeping it together, but helping him feel better as well.

 

“Good. Now, say it.”

 

“Say…’what’ exactly?”

 

“Say it’s not your fault.”

 

“I just did.”

 

“Dean!” said the brunette looking pretty close to pissed off.

 

“Fine, it’s not my fault. Happy now?”

 

“Say it again…and this time, mean it.” 

 

“Sam, this is stupid…you know, I…”

 

“Dean, please…I need you…please just do this one thing for me,” Sam implored with his puppy-dog eyes.

 

And there was no way Dean could say no that. 

 

“It’s not my fault,” Dean said locking gazes with his brother, and he meant it.

 

“Of course, it wasn’t, now promise you won’t forget it, ‘kay?” Sam replied smiling softly.

 

“Okay, Sammy, I promise.”

 

The young Winchester then hugged the blonde tightly and buried his face on the small of his neck and said “I love you, Dean.”

 

To which the blonde replied “I love you, too, Sammy…I love you, too” gently caressing Sam’s back and hair and thanking Heaven for helping him get to Sam just in time while he promised to himself he’d leave his brother out of his sight, unprotected, never ‘ever’ again.


	10. Chapter 10

  
Author's notes: Hi, everybody! Once again sorry for the delay!!! Here goes a new chapter. Hope you all enjoy it and that you keep rating/reviewing -totally love your comments!!!  
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The following morning, Sam woke up alone. He instantly opened his eyes wide scanning the room for Dean, who was barely two feet away and already approaching him. Of course, Sam’s edginess didn’t pass unnoticed to the eldest, who immediately spoke reassuringly.

 

“Morning, Sammy. I’m right here, okay?”

 

“Okay,” the brunette responded in a small voice trying to hide his uneasiness and failing dismally.

 

Sam saw that his brother was dressed and that all of their scarce belongings were packed.

 

“What are you doing, Dean?” Sam asked rubbing his eyes.

 

“We’re leaving, Sam. It’s not safe here…I wanted you to get some more sleep but since you’re up, let’s get ready to go.”

 

Sam knew exactly what his brother was talking about. Dean had beaten the crap out of that guy –perhaps even killed him- and God knew he didn’t want to run into the other guy from the bar…much less having the police asking questions.

 

So, Sam got out of bed, quickly got dressed and the two brothers were soon out of town. The car was filled with silence, none of them truly knowing what to do or say.

 

“Sammy, why don’t you try to get some more sleep…I’ll wake you up when we arrive.”

 

“Don’t know, don’t care. Just away from this freaking town.”

 

Sam simply nodded and closed his eyes waiting for sleep to take over. Luckily, it didn’t take long –the stress of the previous night taking its toll- and Sam was soon sleeping soundly.

 

Dean looked at Sam out of the corner of his eye and cursed to himself. Sam had been doing so well lately, trying to make the best of his ‘situation’ and now this had to happen. He saw his brother curled up in a small ball, still somewhat shaky, and felt his heart sinking –feeling that he’d let Sam down.

 

Several hours and hundreds of miles later, they got to a small inconspicuous town. Dean did the usual: found a motel and checked them in. Sam was still asleep and Dean didn’t want to disturb him –he seemed to be finally sleeping peacefully– so he decided to carry Sam to their room.

 

“What? What’s going on? Dean, what are you doing?” Sam asked with half-lidded eyes as his brother carried him through the door.

 

“Nothing, Sammy, go back to sleep,” and then he gently placed Sam on the bed.

 

Dean was removing his arms from around Sam when the brunette got hold of him and pleaded “stay with me…please.”

 

Dean had always been his anchor and there was no way he’d let Sam drift away –not now, not ever. Besides, how could he say no to those chocolate brown eyes when they were looking at him like that?

 

“Sure, Sammy…just let me get our stuff inside, okay?”

 

Sam nodded but didn’t close his eyes, on the contrary, he stayed alert till his brother came back and lay down next to him.

 

This time there was no need for Dean to close the gap between them for Sam instantly wrapped himself around him unconsciously seeking out protection. Dean hated everything that had happened and felt guilt eating slowly at him every second of every day, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t deny that having Sam reaching out for him like that, ‘needing’ him like that, was the most awesome thing that had ever happened to him. It made him feel ten feet tall and the strongest guy in the world.

 

Dean was happily ‘cuddling’ with Sam and having the time of his life. Having the brunette in his arms and being able to stroke those soft curves and thread his fingers through that glossy mane was just…awesome! Dean couldn’t believe how much he was enjoying this. He’d always been the number one fan of the fair sex –and he’d had his share of women to prove it– and he’d always had a damn good time with them, but ‘this’, this ‘thing’, this ‘feeling’ he was harboring in his chest right now was…different. He’d never experienced anything like this before. Having this girl, having ‘girl!Sam’, in his arms literally filled his heart with joy and he realized that if time froze, and they stayed like that for ever, he’d be more than okay with it.

 

Dean was blissfully happy and yet he knew he was treading on dangerous ground. He was no fool after all, and feared how his body would react if he kept sharing his bed with Sam. It wasn’t that Dean wasn’t pleased with the arrangement –hell, he loved having the brunette all to himself– but he didn’t trust his body. After all, he was a virile young man and ‘girl!Sam’ was a really hot woman, and Dean knew his downstairs brain would start connecting the dots pretty soon and react accordingly.

 

Truth be told, he’d woken up that morning hard as a rock, and worse still, his hard-on had been nudging against Sam’s butt and his right hand cupping Sam’s breast. Luckily, on becoming fully awake and realizing ‘what’ he was doing and, more importantly, ‘who’ he was doing it to, Dean had jumped out of bed and headed straight to the bathroom, where he’d locked himself up and taken care of the problem as quietly as possible.

 

Thank God, Sam had been fast asleep and never found out what had happened, but Dean knew that he was walking on thin ice and that he couldn’t go on tempting fate like that. He had to do something…trouble was he didn’t know what. Besides, he enjoyed cuddling with Sammy so much!

 

Yet, he had to put an end to it, especially now that he was fully aware of the fact that he wanted a lot more from Sam, that he wanted ‘everything’.

 

Knowing that his lustful thoughts would take him nowhere –at least nowhere good– Dean decided to close his eyes and doze into sleep.

 

When Sam opened his eyes, it was late in the afternoon. He tried to move but it proved to be difficult since Dean was curled up around him holding him tightly. Sam found it funny: Dean was protecting him…even in his sleep!

 

For once the blonde seemed to be resting peacefully and Sam didn’t want to move and risk waking up his sleep-deprived brother so he thought it best to keep quiet and stay still in Dean’s arms. And then, all of a sudden, it hit him: Dean was sleeping peacefully and so had he. No nightmares. No fear. No pain. Sam noticed he’d actually slept a lot and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had such a comforting rest. Well, except for that time when he’d had his ‘period’…and last night after the assault…and then now.

 

Little by little, realization began to sink in: both brothers seemed to truly rest when they were in each other’s arms.

 

Sam looked up at his brother and studied his face: Dean had a peaceful expression –something Sam had never witnessed before– and the brunette noticed how beautiful and perfect Dean’s face was right now. Dean looked completely relaxed, the ever-present frown and lines showing worry and concern gone. Sam stared at Dean’s face as if he was looking at it for the first time. It was strange. Sam was aware of Dean’s strong jaw and freckles, of his ridiculously long lashes, of his luscious totally ‘kissable’ lips…Sam suddenly felt his heart beating faster while a strange warmth spread down from his belly and a wetness pooled between his legs.

 

Sam was thoroughly confused. He’d experienced something like this once before, but it’d never been this intense –not even close! And though he’d been in female form for a short time and was still discovering new feelings and sensations, Sam understood what was happening to him: he wanted Dean…he wanted his brother. The feelings, the sensations, were different but Sam could tell that he was ‘lusting’ after his own brother!

 

For Christ’s sake! The mere thought of it sent him over the edge and got him breathing so fast he knew he’d hyperventilate and pass out if he didn’t calm down. He tried to think of something else, to push the feeling away and bury it deep down inside him, and yet, all Sam could think of was Dean wrapped around him, lying on top of him, kissing him for dear life, and protecting him from everything.

 

Images of the blonde flashed through Sam’s mind out of their volition: Sam suddenly pictured them both in bed, naked, Sam’s hands tracing every line and muscle in Dean’s back as the blonde buried himself in ‘her’, both moaning in ecstasy.

 

And then, reality hit him…real hard. Sam had just fantasized about himself –‘herself’ actually for in those images he was still a woman– with…Dean! What the hell was he thinking???!!! Had he lost his freaking mind???!!! How could he think something like that? True, his body was betraying him, responding in ways he couldn’t fully understand, but what he’d just imagined? Well, that was a whole different story.

 

If Sam had been afraid before, now he was officially freaking out. Dean was sharing his bed with him, doing his best at comforting him, keeping him grounded and sane, helping him so that he didn’t lose it and somehow managed to keep it together, being the ‘awesome’ brother he’d always been and here he was…lusting after him.

 

He was ‘lusting’ after his own brother! His brother, who’d always protected him, taken care of him, practically raised him! His brother, who was big, and strong, and brave, and protective, and sweet –no matter how hard he tried to hide it!– and thoughtful, at least when it came to his kid brother, and manly, and so damn ‘sexy’…

 

Whoa! Stop right there, Winchester!!! Sam realized getting Dean out of his system wouldn’t be an easy task, but then he discovered there was something else to it. What he was feeling wasn’t ‘just’ lust, there was something else underneath, something warm, nurturing, something he’d only felt once in his life…with Jessica. Was it…? Could it be…? No, no way! No freaking way! Sam didn’t even dare to think of the word. It wasn’t possible, it wasn’t…’right’. It couldn’t be…’love’. 

 

Fine, Sam had always loved his brother –in a brotherly way!– but what he felt now was…different. It resembled what he’d felt for Jess –hell, it was much stronger and deeper than what he’d ever felt for her! Oh, no, he was head over heels…in ‘love’…with ‘Dean’!

 

Sam instantly realized he was in deep trouble and wanted to yell, and kick, and curse, and blame it all on the stupid ‘stupid’ curse, but he knew it’d do no good. Besides, he had more pressing issues to deal with at the moment. For one, he had to find the way to get out of Dean’s bear hug without waking him up. After all, Dean wasn’t stupid and he’d immediately see that Sam was, well, to put it in plain English…’horny’! And he so didn’t want him to know that! Yeah, Sam would put his mind to it and find the way to deal with it. And above all, he’d make sure Dean never found out any of it! Sam knew it’d be hard to be around Dean and control his urges, unable to tell him and show him physically what he felt for him. But then Dean would no doubt call him a freak and push him away and Sam was sure he’d never be able to live past that. No, he was going to suck it up and never ‘ever’ let Dean know…no matter what.


	11. Chapter 11

Time kept passing by and the cure to Sam’s condition continued to elude the Winchesters. Sam never stopped looking for an answer but months had already gone by and the brunette was beginning to lose hope.

 

“What if there’s no reversal spell, Dean? It’s been months already,” Sam asked absently staring at the screen of his laptop.

 

Dean was lying on his bed, back leaning on the headboard, and the question seemed to catch him off-guard for he was at a loss for words. He instantly stood up and approached the brunette, though, expecting Sam to break into tears any second.

 

And yet, Sam looked so…’calm’. Dean didn’t admit it, but for quite some time he’d feared that to be a likely possibility, not that he’d say it out loud, though, but he’d considered the idea that he’d never see ‘boy!Sam’ again.

 

“We’ll find a way, Sammy, no matter how long it takes,” Dean replied reassuringly as he gently squeezed Sam’s shoulder before proceeding to caress that dark chocolate mane he’d grown so fond of.

 

Sam looked up at him from where he was sitting and asked “Yeah, whatever…anyway, what is it with you and my hair?”

 

“Nothing, I was just trying to…” Dean uttered clearly surprised and cursing himself for being so careless and giving himself away. He was lost for words, well, not exactly, he knew exactly what he wanted to say “I just ‘love’ your hair, Sammy, feels so soft, so silky” and then his mind went on “feels so damn good on my hands, wonder how those waves and locks would feel on the rest of my body…my face, my chest, my arms. Bet they’d feel damn good on my legs while you ride me. Never let you ride my car, but be more than glad to let you ride ‘me’…hell, I’d be thrilled!” Dean thought as images of Sam and himself filled his mind: both naked, the brunette on top, her body contorting in pleasure as the blonde placed his hands on her hips pulling her up and down onto him while he pounded into her. “Yeah, Sammy, you’d be on top but I’d be the one calling the shots!”

 

“What is it, Dean? What are you thinking about?”

 

“Nothing,” answered the eldest wanting to kick his own ass, again, for letting his lust take control like that.

 

“C’mon, you have that funny look on your face…please, what is it?”

 

Dean felt like a little boy who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, no, worse still, with his hand in his pants. He knew he had to come up with something…fast. So, he did the only thing that he knew would work: lie through his teeth.

 

“Nothing…I just…just,” he mumbled.

 

“What, Dean?”

 

“Erm…I’ve been wondering what it is like…how it feels, you know, being a ‘girl’?”

 

Fine, that was a low blow, but it was the only thing he’d been able to come up with. He’d expected Sam to yell at him, punch him, or, well, anything pretty much along those lines, so the blonde couldn’t hide his surprise when Sam answered calmly “Don’t know…it’s just…different…it’s still me but…I feel…different, you know?”

 

Okay, now that Dean had opened that door, he’d have to suck it up and man up. In honest truth, Dean wasn’t a touchy-feely kind of guy but then Sam had bottled everything up for months already and Dean knew perfectly well that that would end up driving the young Winchester insane. Sam clearly needed to share, it’d do a lot of good to him, and, besides, Dean was damn curious about the whole genderswap thing, there was no denying that!

 

After a few seconds, Dean finally managed to ask “Okay…different…how?”

 

“It’s hard to put it into words,” Sam said frowning, clearly choosing his words carefully “it’s like it’s ‘me’…same old Sam, same memories, same way of looking at things, but then it’s also ‘different’…the ‘world’ feels different…there’s a whole new range of sensations…I perceive things differently…I’m not making any sense, am I?” the brunette asked making eye contact with the eldest and then added “Sorry, it’s just that it’s really hard to explain.”

 

“Actually, it makes a lot of sense, Sam. I mean, it’s not as if you’d swapped meat or something, that curse didn’t ‘just’ change your body…I guessed it changed ‘you’.”

 

There, one of the brothers had said the words out loud and their true meaning finally sank in.

 

Dean realized he wasn’t with his brother, not really, he was with this girl, this ‘girl’, who was just perfect, and that he found completely irresistible. Dean felt a warm feeling in his chest. It wasn’t lust –that much he knew– but he couldn’t put his finger on it quite yet. He’d felt it before when he was around Sam, and it made him want to wrap his arms around the brunette and keep ‘her’ there…with him…forever.

 

Sam looked at Dean standing before her and saw, finally saw, the man that was barely three feet away from her. He was stunning, sex on two legs, but he was more than that, so much more. Dean was the best man Sam had ever known: he’d pretty much raised her, shielded her not only from the outside world but also given her the confidence and support their father had failed to provide so that she could become independent and be less ‘screwed up’ than him, he’d given up his life to save people…Dean was actually…outstanding.

 

Sam wanted to tell him, to ‘show’ him, so badly that she was head over heels for him, but she was certain Dean would feel disgusted and push her away…and it’d be far worse than having to control herself around him. Not that Sam was finding it any easy, no way, all Sam could think of was Dean’s strong limbs protectively wrapped around her while she indulged in his embrace and devoted herself to showing him, body and soul, how much she loved him and how desperately she needed him.

 

And then, all of a sudden, Sam realized he was actually thinking of himself as if he were a woman. The fantasies, the desires, the thoughts…he saw himself as a ‘she’, as ‘girl!Sam’, in each and every one of them.

 

Sam didn’t tell the blonde but it was clear that the eldest Winchester had nailed it: Sam had changed…and not ‘just’ physically.

 

Awareness was a real bitch. It was getting harder and harder for Sam to be around Dean pretending everything was just ‘peachy’. It was killing her and for once she wished she’d followed her brother’s lead and pushed all those feelings away and ignored them instead of carrying out a vividisection!

 

Anyway, now it was too late and she’d have to suck it up…for both their sakes. Sam knew she couldn’t act on her feelings for the eldest –not now, not ‘ever’– and she concluded there was only one thing left to do: get Dean out of her system for good…no matter what…and real fast!

 

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	12. Chapter 12

  
Author's notes: Hi, guys! Thx a lot for the reviews...I love 'em! Here's a new chapter...hope you all like it, too. Please let me know what you think...love your feedback!!! :-)  
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Ever since Sam’s ‘change’, the Winchesters had been hunting less and less. Dean had repeatedly pointed out that it had nothing to do with the fact that Sam was a ‘girl’, but the brunette was no fool and could see right through him: the slimmest possibility of Sam getting hurt scared the hell out of Dean and since the assault, it’d been even worse. Dean now kept going out to a minimum and wouldn’t Sam let go anywhere alone, not even for ice to the machine outside their room.

 

Deep down, Sam loved it: Dean cared for her and was willing to do anything in his power to keep her safe, but then, it also kind of sucked because it was ruining Sam’s chances of getting over her brother.

 

Dean’s constant role as Sam’s bodyguard plus lack of hunting was taking its toll on him, as it could have been expected. Hunting had always helped Dean take the edge off things and now that he was virtually caged with Sam, with freaking-gorgeous-smoking-hot Sam, and totally unable to act on his impulses, Dean had the feeling that he would burst in flames any second.

 

Dean’s agitated state didn’t pass unnoticed to Sam, who saw it as an opportunity to put her plan in motion, one she wasn’t going to miss out.

 

“Hey, Dean?”

 

“Yeah, Sammy?” Dean responded absently surfing channels.

 

“How ‘bout we go out? We’ve been stuck here for a week already.”

 

“Okay…no more take-out…we’ll go out for breakfast tomorrow.”

 

“No, I mean…how ‘bout going out ‘now’?”

 

“Now? Kinda late, don’t you think?”

 

“Not for drinks.”

 

Dean let the remote drop to the floor and stood up “No, no, no! No freaking way! We’re not hitting bars, Sam!”

 

Dean was doing his best to stay cool and sound calm but failing dismally despite his efforts.

 

“I wasn’t suggesting bars…I heard some girls talking about a club the other day when we were doing the laundry…it’s not our kind of thing but it seemed okay.”

 

“A club?...You wanna go ‘clubbing’?” Dean asked wide-eyed.

 

“No, Dean! I just wanna go out for a little while and have a drink! You’ve been keeping me in locked down in this tiny room for quite a while now and I’m going crazy…and, c’mon, admit it, so are you!”

 

Sam didn’t actually yell at her brother, though she really wanted to, and yet made her point firmly. And it seemed to work like a charm because Sam saw the blonde taking a deep breath and staring at the floor clearly considering the brunette’s words.

 

Dean hated Sam’s ‘suggestion’, what had happened at the last bar still fresh in his mind, but he had to admit that Sam was right: they’d been holed up for two weeks already and they were beginning to drive each other nuts. Besides, it wasn’t like they could stay there forever, eventually, they’d have to go out, and Sam seemed to be feeling much better. The first couple of days she’d been scared and jumpy but now she seemed to be over it, she was acting ‘normal’ again, and Dean guessed it was better to get back on the saddle asap.

 

“Fine.”

 

“Really?” Sam asked in disbelief.

 

“Yeah…let’s go.”

 

Sam couldn’t believe her brother was playing along, and even more so, that her plan had worked, and not wanting Dean to change his mind, she quickly grabbed her jacket and followed the eldest out of their motel room and into the car.

 

The drive was pretty short, barely fifteen minutes. Luckily, despite their inappropriate attire, they had no problem getting into the club, both their stunning looks to be thanked for it. 

 

The second they stepped inside, Dean felt completely out of place. The club was packed with twenty-somethings wearing black garments and heavy make-up, which contrasted heavily with his ratty jeans and plaid.

 

“What is this place, Sam?”

 

“Who cares?...It’s…safe.”

 

And Dean knew exactly what Sam meant: none of the youngsters looked any dangerous, besides, they were too busy dancing, drinking and trying to hook up. 

 

The Winchesters went to the bar and ordered two beers. Sam sat on her stool and instantly caught sight of Dean scanning the premises. He hadn’t said anything and pretended to be cool with everything but it was pretty obvious to the brunette that he was not. Sam saw him scrutinizing the club with his eyes searching for any signs of a threat or imminent danger. Only when he was sure the place was safe, did he turn around and sipped at his beer.

 

Sam appreciated Dean’s concern, she really did, but it only made things harder for her. Knowing that Dean cared for her -’loved’ her- so much and that he was completely off-limits for her, was killing her. So, she turned round on her stool till her back was leaning against the counter fully determined to set her plan in motion and get Dean out of her system…for good.

 

Sam wished she was wearing her black dress -the slutty black dress Dean had gotten her- since it would’ve made things a heck of a lot easier but she knew Dean would’ve dragged her ass back to the motel if she had and then refused to go back to the club. Besides, she wasn’t sure she had the guts it again…at least not just yet.

 

Fine, her jeans and black v-neck would have to do then: Sam was going to pick up some random guy and stop thinking about her brother in such inappropriate ways. Trouble was, she was completely clueless.

 

That was the one thing Sam hadn’t thought about: how was she going to ‘attract’ a guy? It was different for men and women. And, let’s face it, she’d always been the shy type regarding the opposite sex and now that ‘he’ was a ‘she’, Sam felt even more lost.

 

However, that wasn’t going to stop her. She was a Winchester after all and they never took ‘no’ for an answer.

 

So, Sam focused her attention on the girls around her and studied their every single move. After a while, Sam thought she had a pretty good idea of the whole thing and decided to give it a try.

 

She took off her jacket, crossed her legs, and seductively let her hair down as she sensually licked her lips. In no time, a dark-haired guy across the room laid eyes on her. The guy stared at Sam for a long while just like a lion eyes its prey before pouncing on it.

 

Sam was glad her plan was working but she felt increasingly nervous not knowing if she had the guts to go through with it. Luckily, they were at a club, which meant that booze was plentiful, and by the time the dark-haired guy approached her, Sam was already gulping down her third tequila shot.

 

“Take it easy, Sam, you’re drinking too much, too fast…and now your body can’t take that much alcohol now.”

 

“I’m fine, Dean…just wanna relax…’sides, you’re sitting right next to me.”

 

That said, Sam shut her mouth and focused her eyes on the dark-haired guy, after all, she didn’t want him to think she was Dean’s date or something –oh, boy, if only!

 

The guy took a few last strides and found himself standing next to Sam, up close, whispering in her ear “Hey, gorgeous…wanna dance?”

 

Of course, none of it passed unnoticed to the eldest Winchester, who had already spun on his seat and was barely a second away from punching the guy on his face. However, Dean immediately felt Sam’s hand on his chest telling him to stop.

 

The guy must’ve seen Dean’s violent reaction and serial-killer vibe because he froze and instantly mumbled “So-sorry…didn’t know you had company.”

 

“I ‘don’t’! This is my over-protective brother, Dean.” Sam replied locking gazes with the guy and flashing a wide grin. “Don’t worry about him…let’s go dance!”

 

And just like that, Sam drank the last contents of yet another shot and let the guy lead her to the dance floor. She hated to admit it but Dean had been right: she felt dizzy, slightly drunk perhaps. But then she thought it was for the best, she’d be less inhibited and manage to pull things through.

 

Dean couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Some stupid random guy had just picked Sam up, he’d dared to take Sammy away from him and worse still…Sam had been very happy to oblige.

 

Dean stared at the couple on the dance floor rhythmically moving to the sound of the music blasting in the club and had to resort to every shred of self-constraint not to go to them, kick that stupid guy’s ass, and drag Sam out of there.

 

Dean wanted to do just that -and badly!- but what could he say? Sam was simply dancing with a guy, it was pretty ‘innocent’…at least it was until things got hot and heavy between them.

 

The guy threw his arm around Sam’s waist and drew her close to him till there was no space left between them. He then proceeded to roam Sam’s body with his free hand: he squeezed her butt firmly while his mouth went down to Sam’s neck and suckled on her soft creamy skin.

 

Dean was wide-eyed and one second away from killing the guy when he saw him removing his hand from Sam’s butt and placing it on her breast. He started kneading the perky mound enthusiastically as he shifted his mouth towards Sam’s lips.

 

That was it. That was all Dean could take. He instantly stood up and walked straight to his sibling, who now had one leg hooked around the guy and wide-shut eyes. The guy’s mouth was over Sam’s now and Dean could see his tongue going deep down Sam’s throat in such a way it made the blonde wonder how Sam managed not to choke on it. Not that Sam seemed to mind, for she was letting the douche do pretty much anything he wanted to her…and that was exactly what pissed Dean off so much.

 

Sam danced with the guy doing her best to keep her balance. Man, she’d ‘only’ had some beer and a couple of shots and was feeling like hell. She’d gulped down the drinks trying to muster up some courage to carry out her plan and it’d seemed a pretty good idea at the time, but now she wasn’t that sure anymore.

 

Sam was trying real hard to keep her balance when the guy threw his arm around her waist and drew her close to him till their bodies were pressed together. Sam saw everything spinning around her and thought she’d pass out any second so she closed her eyes and took deep breaths trying to keep it together.

 

Then, all of a sudden, she felt the guy’s hand squeezing her left butt cheek firmly while he suckled on the soft skin of her neck. Sam wanted to tell him to stop and push him away, and she was about to when she felt the hand on her butt moving towards her breast and kneading it enthusiastically. She instantly opened her mouth ready to protest but right then foreign lips crashed against hers and began kissing her for dear life.

 

Sam opened her eyes wide in response and saw vivid green orbs staring right back at her. She saw ‘Dean’s eyes’ staring back. He was petting her hard and heavy, his lips searing hers and his tongue snaking inside her mouth pushing deep into it, practically down her throat, as a promise of what would come next.

 

Sam couldn’t believe this was actually happening and wondered how it was even possible. How and when had that happened? Seconds ago she’d been dancing with some guy so how come she was in Dean’s arms now? She tried to focus and figure out what was going on, but having Dean touching and kissing her like that was too intense for her brain to function and she simply hooked her leg around him and opened her mouth wider for him, giving all of herself to him…for he was giving all of himself to her.

 

Suddenly, she felt a strong arm dragging her away from such pleasure, from such joy. Sam opened her eyes and furiously threw punches in mid-air. How did anyone dare take her away from him like that…from ‘her’ Dean? Sam kept fighting and squirming but she was too wasted to connect any of her blows and then, when she finally managed to focus on her assailant, she saw no other than…Dean…a seriously pissed off Dean.

 

That confused Sam even more. Dean had just dragged her away from…himself? She was about to ask the blonde how that was possible when the eldest Winchester held her arm firmly and announced “We’re leaving.”

 

“What? No! Why? I wanna stay.” 

 

Sam’s words came out slurring and laced with the smell of alcohol.

 

She tried to break free from her brother’s hold but her balance -or rather lack of it- made her trip and she most certainly would have fallen face flat on the floor if Dean hadn’t caught her in his arms.

 

On feeling Dean’s strong arms around her, Sam looked up to her brother’s face and suggested with half-lidded eyes and a small smile “C’mon, Dean, let’s go dance!”

 

Dean loved having Sam in his arms and the idea of dancing, of doing to Sam exactly what that guy had been doing a few seconds ago, sounded like the best plan ever. In fact, his body seemed to enthusiastically agree with Sam’s idea as a tingling feeling started spreading all over him. But Dean knew better: Sam was totally wasted and had no clue what she was doing. Dean knew he had to get her out of the club before she did something she regretted in the morning.

 

“Yeah, sure, Sammy, but let’s go get some fresh air first, okay, princess?” he said pretending to be okay with the whole idea and trying to get Sam to cooperate with him.

 

It’d be so easy for him to throw Sam over his shoulder and carry her out of the club, but then he didn’t want to have to deal with the bouncers on top of all things so he guessed persuasion would be more effective.

 

Sam was literally cuddling in his arms, eyes closed, head resting on his shoulder, letting him take her out of the premises when Dean felt a hand, a man’s hand, on his arm. He turned to face the owner of that hand and found no other than the dark-haired guy Sam had been dancing with, who asked “Hey, what ya doing, man? She’s with me.”

 

Fine, that guy was either really ‘really’ stupid or had a death wish for Dean ‘seriously’ wanted to kill him. And it must have come across in his eyes because the guy instantly let go of him and took a step back. Of course, all that stopping and talking got to Sam, who opened her eyes and was trying to focus on both men and get a grasp of what was happening.

 

“I wanna dance, Dean…c’mon…” she said letting go of her brother in an attempt to head back to the dance floor.

 

Okay, so Dean’s plan to make a smooth -and quiet- exit wasn’t going to happen so he thought he’d at least try to make it fast. He strengthened his hold on Sam’s waist and literally manhandled her out of the club and into the car despite her protests. Luckily, the bouncers were too busy dealing with some drunken teens that were making a scene trying to get in the club and the Winchesters passed unnoticed.

 

Dean sat behind the wheel and felt somewhat relieved now that Sam was safe. Not that the drive back to the motel was any quiet or easy since the brunette spent the whole time arguing and sulking. And when they finally arrived, Dean had to drag her out of the Impala and take her into their room.

 

“What is wrong with you, Dean? What did you do that for?” Sam asked furiously yelling at the eldest and leaning on a chair doing her best to keep her balance.

 

“You’re wasted, Sam, you don’t know what you are doing!”

 

“I was just…dancing,” she replied blushing with embarrassment knowing her brother was right.

 

“Dancing? You call that ‘dancing’? ‘Coz it didn’t look like dancing to me, Sam.”

 

Sam remained silent and simply stared at the floor, shame written all over her face.

 

Dean saw it immediately and softened his voice “Listen, there’s nothing wrong with it…I get it, Sammy, you haven’t…” and then he stopped and thought “had sex in months and you must be horny like hell…and man I’d be more than glad to help you with that” but, of course, he didn’t say that out loud. Instead, he said “it’s just that you’re drunk and didn’t want you to do anything you might regret later…plus I really worry about you, you know, especially after what happened…if anything happened to you…I just don’t know what I…” and then he stopped talking and took a breath, doing his best to stop his tears from falling.

 

Sam was looking at her brother wide-eyed. Dean was actually opening up and sharing his feelings…his fears? Sam felt her own heart melting and then seeing her brother’s watery eyes and trying so hard to hide it made it Sam love him even more and feel the desperate need to make it all better, to make the pain go away.

 

Sam let go of the chair and managed to walk towards her brother without tripping or falling, the tequila still kicking in, and locked gazes with him. And Dean’s walls must have been down because Sam saw such raw emotion in those emerald eyes: concern, pain, love, need and rage, all mixed up together, that it was impossible for Sam to ignore.

 

“Oh, Dean, I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry…please don’t be mad…I won’t do it again…I promise…please…” she repeated over and over again as a mantra while she cupped his face and left feather-like kisses on his face. She started by kissing his forehead, gentle soft kisses, and kept going down: she kissed his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, and then, she pressed her lips sweetly and delicately on his.

 

At some point, Dean had wrapped his arms around Sam and kept her there. Her body, warm and loving, pressed against his while the brunette kissed him and begged him for forgiveness. Dean knew this was wrong, hell, that was putting it mildly, it was dead dangerous as it could lead to something else…but it felt so damn good, to be loved, by ‘Sammy’, like that, that he couldn’t help himself and simply let Sam kiss him as much as she wanted.

 

Sam’s kisses went on, slightly interrupted by words whispered against Dean’s skin “I’m sorry, Dean…I’m so sorry…please don’t be mad at me…need you…need you ‘so’ much.”

 

Sam’s kisses had been soft and sweet at first, but Dean now felt the insistent pressure on his mouth and her tentative licks on his lower lip. Dean’s mouth opened of its own volition and let Sam take everything from him…and give him anything she wanted.

 

The blonde was soon lost in the haze of pleasure and started kissing the brunette back. His initial passive attitude turned into something more dominant and he ended up taking control of the kiss in no time. His tongue explored the sweetness of Sam’s lips and mouth, and his hands indulged in the softness of her hair and curves. Dean was mesmerized caressing every inch of her body with his hands and tongue getting rid of the last traces of the dark-haired guy and claiming Sam as ‘his’.

 

Dean felt Sam’s body responding to him, her heavy breath on his cheek as they kissed, her breasts rising and falling, her limbs slowly wrapping around him.

 

“Love you, Dean…need you…need you so much…”

 

Sam was kissing him desperately and hanging on to him for dear life…and Dean couldn’t believe this was happening. Not even in his wildest dreams had things been and ‘felt’ so good, so damn perfect…Sammy and him…together. The brunette giving him all the love he’d always longed for. Dean had never felt so loved, so needed, so wanted before and having Sam as the source of those feelings was simply intoxicating.

 

Intoxicating.

 

Intoxicated.

 

Sam was intoxicated.

 

Sam was wasted. Sam didn’t know what she was doing. It was the booze talking, not ‘her’.

 

And as much as Dean wanted Sam, as much as he wanted this, he knew he couldn’t do it, not like this, not when Sam didn’t know what she was doing and was acting on basic instinct.

 

So, he resorted to all of his strength and self-control and gently but firmly pushed Sam away.

 

“Sorry, Sammy,” he uttered and then he walked out of the room leaving Sam totally confused and aching for him.

 

“Dean…Dean, what are you doing? Get back here!”

 

But it was too late. Dean had already jumped in the Impala and taken off.


	13. Chapter 13

  
Author's notes: Hi, there! Here's a new chapter...hope you like all enjoy it.  
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* * *

Sam slammed the door of the room closed and sat on her bed filled with confusion and rage. She immediately took out her cell and called her brother, who, as expected, wouldn’t answer. Why was he doing this? Why was he rejecting her love? She loved him…deeply. Why couldn’t he see that? Thousands of questions ran through her mind while she lay down on the bed and cried herself to sleep.

 

Dean spent the night driving in circles, cursing himself for being so weak, for taking advantage of his kid ‘sister’. What on earth was he thinking? How could he let things go so far? Sam was drunk, and clearly horny; he should have known better and give her a cold shower and put her to bed…and never ‘ever’ give in to his own impulses!

 

Dean was furious with himself –his self-loathing reaching whole new levels. He stopped the car all of a sudden and banged his head against the wheel, wishing he could turn the clock back, tears falling freely down his cheeks, knowing that deep down he didn’t regret any of it.

 

Sam woke up early in the morning with the mother of headaches. She felt dizzy and sick and knew exactly what it was: hangover. She walked to the bathroom and splashed her face with cold water trying to make the pain go away and wishing the room would stop spinning. 

 

Failing to achieve any of it, she thought it best to go back to bed. So, she walked slowly back towards it and sat down on the edge, blurry images of the previous night flashing through her still confused mind. And then, like a blow to her stomach, it all sank in: she’d kissed Dean!

 

Actually, she’d done much more than that: she’d totally groped him and sucked his face! Gosh! What was she thinking???!!! How could she lose control like that? The whole point of going to that club had been to hook up with some random guy so that she could stop thinking about Dean ‘that’ way and she’d ended up doing exactly what she’d been trying to avoid. How could she be so freaking stupid???!!! How could she let her hormones take control like that???!!!

 

Sam’s memories of the previous night were somewhat blurry but she vividly remembered the joy and ecstasy she’d felt in that very room in Dean’s arms. It had been amazing, out of this world, she was pretty sure Dean had kissed her back and got on with the program pretty fast but then she remembered he’d pushed her away. “Oh, God,” she thought “what have I done? How could I do that to him?”

 

She felt guilt and disgust eating at her. How could she be so selfish and do that to Dean? Of course, he hadn’t pushed her away instantly. Sam knew she was Dean’s soft spot and that he had this irrational need to protect her and take care of her, which meant he’d do anything for her, give her anything no matter what, even if it hurt him, even if he was disgusted by it.

 

Dean spent the night in the Impala, trying to figure out a way of dealing with the whole thing, and failing miserably. He hadn’t been able to get any sleep and he felt tired and tense and guessed coffee would come in handy.

 

So, he turned on the engine and drove to a diner, where he bought two coffees and some donuts. He knew facing Sam wouldn’t be easy, but he also knew that the sooner he did it, the better.

 

Sam was in their motel room, lost in her own thoughts, when she heard the roar of the Impala outside. She let go of a breath, relieved now that her brother was back, secretly fearing she’d pushed too hard this time and that she’d lost Dean for good.

 

“Hey!”

 

“Hey,” Sam replied staring at the rug unable to make eye-contact with the blonde.

 

“Erm…I got breakfast…and some Tylenol, too…bet you’ve got a hell of a headache,” the commented casually with a fake smile.

 

“Yeah…thanks,” she responded shyly, taking the coffee and the tablets from him.

 

Tension filled the room and Sam knew that, Dean being Dean, it’d be up to her to make the first move. So, the younger Winchester sucked in a breath, looked into the blonde’s eyes and said “Listen, Dean, about last night, I…”

 

Sam was blushing and sounding apologetic. In fact, she was about to apologize and beg for forgiveness if she had to. But then, the eldest cut her short “It’s okay, Sam, just take some pills and have your coffee. We’re leaving.”

 

Leaving? Where? Why? Sam wanted to ask a zillion questions: did you kiss me back or did I imagine it all? Do you hate me? Are you disgusted by me? But seeing Dean’s demeanor she soon realized that wasn’t the time to do it, so she decided to shut up and comply.

 

The Winchesters took their showers, changed clothes, and in under an hour, they hit the road. The drive was quiet…and the silence filling the car felt awkward, to put it mildly. So, after a hundred miles, Sam couldn’t take it anymore and spoke up “Are we gonna talk about it?”

 

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

 

“Dean!”

 

“Sammy, you were wasted…just drop it, okay?” and then he added “please?”

 

“Yeah…’kay.”

 

Sam felt her heart breaking into a million pieces. She’d acted on an impulse, kissed Dean and showed him exactly how much she wanted him…with a dreadful outcome. Now he wouldn’t even look at her and was most certainly disgusted.

 

Sam felt tears pooling in her eyes and her heart clenching but she refused to let her emotions take the best of her. She’d never let that happen again…ever! She’d almost lost Dean and though he was now sitting right next to her, she wasn’t sure he was ‘actually’ there. He seemed cold, detached, and she knew things between them would never be the same. She looked at him for a long while waiting for some indication or clue that they could make it through…and yet, nothing. The eldest kept his eyes fixed on the road and ignored her altogether. When it became too painful, Sam looked away, out of the window, feeling that her whole world was falling apart and that there was nothing she could do about it.

 

Dean could feel Sam’s eyes searing through his skull. She wanted to ‘talk’. But what was he going to say? That he lusted after his kid sister? That there was nothing more he’d wanted to do last night than to take sweet Sammy to bed and make love to her all night long? That she’d been far too wasted to even realize they’d almost done just that? That he was a sick pervert for wanting her, for loving her ‘that’ way? That she was perfect? That she deserved the whole world and that he couldn’t even give her a permanent address? That she was way out of his league? That he’d never measure up? That all these twisted thoughts did nothing but confirm how sick he was?

 

Besides, he knew what Sam would say and he so didn’t want to hear any of it. He knew Sam would do her best and try to tell him that it was okay, that they had been drunk and acted on an impulse, and a whole load of crap masking her true thoughts “my brother is a sick bastard who wants to fuck me!” 

 

The mere idea of it hurt Dean deeply. It wasn’t true, well, it was, but not like that. He didn’t want to ‘fuck’ Sammy, he wanted to make love to her. He wanted to kiss her, worship her and love her like there was no tomorrow. Love her, that was all he wanted…love…love her…love Sammy…forever. And then, after all those months, realization hit him hard: he was ‘in love’ with Sam.

 

Dean felt panic instantly kicking in: he was totally screwed. He was in love, for the first time in his life. And he was in love…with ‘Sam’.


	14. Chapter 14

  
Author's notes: Hi, there! Sorry it's taken me this long to post. Thing is that it takes me some time to get the chapters written (you know, my muse isn't always in the mood!) and with all the things I've been doing lately, well, not much time left for my fics!  
Anyway, hope you're still reading & enjoying my story.  
Please review...I love your comments!!! Special thanks to deez, writinginsecret, babyreaper, rant girl, and all the rest of you for your awesome comments! ;-)  
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* * *

Of course, they never talked about that night ever again. They kept driving from town to town, doing simple gigs and occasionally helping other hunters. And yet, things weren’t okay between them…nothing was the same.

 

Dean, as usual, pretended nothing was wrong and flashed his smile to Sam whenever he had the chance –except they weren’t honest smiles. He talked to her, he now treated her, in the same way he addressed civilians: all ‘fake’ charming gestures. And yet, Sam couldn’t quite decide what hurt her more: Dean’s fake pretense or his aloofness. He did talk to her and spend time with her –after all, they were stuck with each other 24/7!– but it wasn’t like before, and whenever he was too tired to put up a show, he showed his true colors: he was cold, distant and barely acknowledged Sam.

 

The whole thing was killing her, who had by now developed the habit of crying her heart out in the shower –perfect hiding place for her sobs and puffy red eyes. And it was precisely what gave her the determination to find the cure to her condition and put an end to her torture.

 

With Dean obviously doing his best to avoid her, Sam was fully focused on finding the reversal spell. It was no easy task, though, she’d already been researching for months and had found nothing so far, but at least now Dean had stopped bugging her and telling her to give it a break and get some rest. Actually, whenever they weren’t busy with some hunt, Sam spent ‘all’ of her time, literally every single second of it, trying to find a cure.

 

Dean was seriously pissed off with himself for being an idiot, for wanting the one person he’d never be able to have. This ‘girl!Sam’ had somehow managed to crawl under his skin, and having her around, the way he now felt for her, and being totally unable to do anything about it, was killing him. And yet, he swore he’d stay in his best behavior –‘harmless’ fantasies included– and keep his hands off Sammy…she was off limits!

 

Dean felt secretly proud for taking such stance…knowing how difficult it’d be for him to keep his word. The nights were the worst part. The days were manageable: they kept themselves busy and he focused on hunting, keeping the car in shape and cleaning his weapons. But the nights, when the world went completely still, and they were both in bed, well, the nights were a living hell.

 

He spent hours awake at night just staring at Sam. Remembering how ‘good’ she felt. Sometimes, he’d kneel down next to her bed and sweetly stroke her hair and face, the brunette smiling softly enjoying his caresses in her sleep. He’d even found himself in tears more than once feeling a stabbing pain in his heart on realizing this was all he would ever have when he wanted more, when he wanted it all…when he wanted ‘all’ of her.

 

Whenever that happened, whenever he was weak enough to let his body, his hands, seek out Sam’s warmth, he’d spend the following day as far away from her as possible, her presence a constant reminder of the sinful nature of his feelings and desires.

 

None of them would say anything out loud but tension was building and it’d soon seek an outlet.

 

Dean walked into the room carrying breakfast.

 

“Hey, quit research for a minute and come have breakfast.”

 

“Not hungry.”

 

“C’mon, Sammy, have your coffee while it’s hot…I got you one of those ‘girly’ frappucchino thingies,” Dean insisted mockingly trying to mask his need to go over to her and hold her tight.

 

Sam had been acting cold and looking sad lately and all Dean wanted to do was wrap her in his arms and comfort her. Not a good idea, though, not after what had happened, so he opted for cracking jokes and bugging Sam instead.

 

“Well, too bad because I’m not hungry…should’ve asked first,” she replied coldly.

 

“Are we in a mood today! Is it that time of the month?”

 

Sam put away her laptop and looked at him.

 

“Of course, Dean, I’m a ‘girl’ so if I’m in a bad mood it’s gotta be PMS!” Sam yelled at the blonde.

 

Fine, Dean had been joking and what he’d said hadn’t been that bad but Sam was clearly pissed off –and maybe picking a fight?– and he, well, he was just too tired. Keeping it together, refraining himself from going to her and make her his, show her how he felt, required a great deal of strength and determination and it was taking its toll.

 

So, Dean sucked in a breath, bit his tongue, and apologized “Erm, sorry, that was out of line, Sammy…come on, now, drink your coffee.”

 

Dean then picked up a cup and offered it to Sam, who took it from him without uttering a word. She sipped from the cup enjoying the sugary and creamy taste in her tongue and couldn’t help smiling softly.

 

“See? I knew you’d like it!” the blonde stated with an honest smile and warm eyes in an attempt to make peace before war broke out and they ended up ripping each other’s heads off!

 

“Yeah, thanks,” the brunette answered and grinned, loving and ‘hating’, the sweet smile Dean was directing at her.

 

It was moments like this that hurt her the most. For a second she saw her loving brother back, right there before her, the man she’d fallen for and then, before she could even begin to enjoy it, he was gone…Dean went back to the jokes and ‘fake’ smiles.

 

Oddly enough, this particular occasion seemed to be the exception to the rule, for Dean, the ‘real’ Dean, stayed right there with Sam, looking at her lovingly. She expected the illusion to break any minute and see ‘fake’ Dean again, but it didn’t happen…at least not till her phone rang.

 

“Hey, Bobby (…) Okay, you? (...) No, no luck so far (…) Seriously? (...) Where? (...) Great! Thanks for the tip!”

 

That said, Sam put her phone away, got her duffel bag and started packing.

 

“Well? Will you please share with the class?”

 

“Yeah…sorry! Bobby says there’s this guy, former hunter or something, who owns a collection of books,” Sam explained while she quickly threw into the bag her scarce belongings and then added “very rare books…on the occult…there’s a chance I might find something there.”

 

“Okay…and you think that this guy’s gonna let you look at them?”

 

“Sure, Bobby’s talked to him already and he’s waiting for us. So, c’mon, pack your stuff and let’s get going.”

 

“Hold your horses, Sammy! I think there’s no harm in finishing breakfast and taking a shower before we hit the road.”

 

“But…but…”

 

“Listen, where does this guy live?”

 

“About a half-hour drive from Savannah.”

 

“The greater the reason then. It’s a long drive. Finish up your breakfast while I shower, okay?”

 

“Fine.”

 

Sam wasn’t thrilled by the idea but knew the eldest was right. So, she sat at the table and nibbled at a donut as the blonde disappeared into the bathroom.

 

Dean welcomed the hot shower, thanking heaven the brunette had complied for once, too exhausted to engage in yet another argument with Sam. He rubbed his muscles forcefully trying to ease some of the tension that had been building in him for days. He couldn’t help wondering who this librarian was but then the tip had come from Bobby so it was worth checking out.

 

And yet, he couldn’t understand Sam’s pressing need to take off there and then. Fine, he understood, Sam wasn’t happy being a girl, but deep down he guessed, and feared, it had much more to do –it had everything to do– with their kiss. Dean was sure she wanted to be ‘male!Sam’ again because she couldn’t bear the thought of her big brother lusting after her. It was simply…disgusting. Yeah, it had to be just that, there was no doubt.

 

The brunette finished her breakfast and quickly got dressed. She couldn’t wait to get hold of those books, find a cure, and put an end to her agony. It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to see Dean as her brother instead of an insanely attractive ‘man’ and then all those secret fantasies she’d been having lately made matters worse. Like when Dean was in the shower, it was practically impossible for Sam not to picture him naked, water sensually caressing every inch of his taut body, and then seeing herself joining him and ‘physically’ showing him how much she wanted him and needed him.

 

Sam brushed off those thoughts knowing they’d do her no good –she didn’t want Dean to come out of the bathroom and find her all flushed…how on earth was she going to explain that? So, she guessed it’d be best to pack his stuff, too. The sooner they could hit the road, the better.

 

She picked up the clothes Dean had left lying around –as usual!– folded them and put them inside his bag. She then tripped over her brother’s boots and landed face flat on his bed…luckily.

 

“Damn it, Dean!” she cursed through her teeth till she realized she was lying on top of Dean’s jacket. Despite her better judgment, she buried her nose in it and perceived the fragrance of everything that was Dean: leather, oil, gunpowder, and a subtle musky scent.

 

Sam propped herself on her elbows and brought the jacket closer to her, feeling the fragrance, the very essence of her brother on it, and then wrapped her arms around it wishing it was Dean. She stayed like that for a long while and didn’t realize the water wasn’t running anymore in the bathroom. 

 

Suddenly, a shirtless Dean, his chest somewhat wet glistening in the morning sunlight, stepped out of the bathroom. Sam was truly mesmerized by the vision before her but her brain somehow managed to respond and she instantly jumped off the bed.

 

Dean looked at her, confused by her reaction, and asked “You okay, Sammy?”

 

“Yeah…not thanks to you, though. Watch where you leave your shoes, Dean! I’m sick and tired of tripping over your stuff!”

 

“Alright, alright…sorry,” he responded letting of a sigh and rolling his eyes. 

 

Sam was acting really bitchy and it was clearly going to be a long drive.

 

However, contrary to Dean’s expectations, the drive to Savannah was pretty quiet: Sam had her nose stuck in a book the whole time while he listened for the zillion time to one of his mullet rock tapes. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye more than once and she seemed upset. She wasn’t in a ‘talking’ mood, though, and he thought “Good, all things considered, the less we talk, the better.”


	15. Chapter 15

  
Author's notes: Hi, there! Here's one more chapter. Sorry it's taking this long to post. I do promise I'll finish my fic, though, ok?  
Just be a little patient and keep reading and reviewing...I adore your feedback!  
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* * *

They arrived in Savannah late at night. They were both exhausted so they decided to check into a motel and go see the old librarian –and apparently former hunter– first thing in the morning.

 

Sam spent half the night tossing and turning in her bed, anxiety driving her crazy, until exhaustion took over and she finally fell asleep. When she opened her eyes, it was late in the morning. Dean was drinking black coffee and cleaning his knives –he’d clearly been awake for quite a while.

 

“Dean, why did you let me sleep late???!!!”

 

“You looked beat, Sammy. ‘Sides, what’s the problem? It’s not like you’re running late for an interview or something…here, have some coffee.”

 

Sam took the cup from his hand without protesting but looking mad at him. Dean couldn’t get it. What was the rush? It wasn’t as if the books would go anywhere or vanish into thin air. Was Sam so disgusted by him that she couldn’t wait a few more hours to be ‘boy!Sam’ again? That recurrent idea was beginning to make itself at home in Dean’s head –for good– and he realized he’d have to do something about it soon before the stabbing pain in his heart killed him.

 

Sam gulped down her coffee, practically scalding her throat in the process, fully determined to put an end to it all and go back to normal, at least, as ‘normal’ as it’d get for the Winchesters. She quickly threw on some clothes and in no time they were heading to the librarian’s place.

 

Sam had expected the former hunter to live in some run-down house –pretty much like Bobby and every single hunter she’d met so far– so she couldn’t hide her surprise when Dean parked outside a neat, freshly painted Southern mansion surrounded by equally well-kept gardens.

 

“You sure this is the right address?” Sam asked wide-eyed.

 

“Yeah…look, it’s the address Bobby texted me.”

 

They both looked at the house one more time, pretty sure they were in the wrong place.

 

“Okay, only one way to find out,” Dean said getting out of the car and walking towards the main gate. Sam trailed after him, observing the surroundings. She’d never been to a place this beautiful before and wondered what the story behind it was. However, now wasn’t the time to let her curiosity take over and indulge in the sweet fragrance of the magnolias, so she sped up and caught up with her brother.

 

Dean rang the bell and a young man answered.

 

“Hello, we’re looking for Mr McNeal…I don’t know if you…”

 

“Yeah, that’s my grandfather, you must be Bobby Singer’s friends” the young man said, his eyes instantly landing on Sam.

 

“Uh-hu. Sam and Dean,” the blonde answered dryly not liking one bit the way this kid was checking Sam out.

 

“Hi, I’m Justin. Please come on in,” he said in his thick southern drawl while he flashed a line of white teeth to Sam.

 

“Thanks,” she simple answered and followed the young man inside the house.

 

Justin walked them to an elegantly decorated living room where an old man sitting in an armchair drank whiskey from a crystal glass.

 

“Sam and Dean, I presume,” he said.

 

The Winchesters nodded in response and then the man added “come over here, have a seat and tell me how this ol’ man can be of help to ya.”

 

Sam and Dean thanked the man and sat down on a large couch opposite Mr McNeal. Sam looked at Justin for a second, wondering how much he knew about hunting, and then hesitantly said “Well, it’s just that I’ve heard about your collection of…” Sam was about to say ‘occult’ but with Justin there she thought it best to be cautious and instead uttered “’rare’ books and I was wondering if I could have a look at them. I’m doing some research for college, see?”

 

The man looked at Sam for a while and smiled sardonically.

 

“You mean you’d like to see my unique collection of books on the ‘occult’ for some ‘hunt’ you two are working on, right sweetheart?”

 

The Winchesters looked at the old man wide-eyed and Dean couldn’t help smirking, the dude clearly knew when someone was giving him a whole load of bull.

 

“Yeah, right…sorry…it’s just that I didn’t know if your grandson,” Sam began explaining and then McNeal cut her short.

 

“No need to worry about Justin. He knows everything there’s to know about hunting and demons. You can speak freely.”

 

“Thanks, Mr McNeal,” the brunette answered.

 

“Please call me Mac. Everybody does. Now, my Justin here will help you with anything you need. He knows my collection like the palm of his hand, don’t you, son?”

 

“Sure, grandpa.”

 

Dean was rather quiet during the whole conversation, too busy seeing the way Justin was staring at Sam. He totally wanted to kick his ass knowing what was going through the kid’s mind but he kept under control; besides, Sam was –thank God!– completely oblivious to what was going on and pretty much ignoring the guy.

 

Mac talked some more to the Winchesters and then they left him to rest in his chair. The siblings followed Justin through a long hallway leading to an impressively large study. Sam looked around fascinated: there were bookshelves stacked with thousands of books covering three of the walls from top to bottom and two large tables in the middle of the room with several chairs around them.

 

After several minutes, Sam finally said “Wow!”

 

“Yeah, I know. Pretty impressive, right?” Justin commented.

 

“Absolutely…and are all of these books…?” she asked pointing at the thousands of volumes carefully arranged by topic.

 

“Yes. Each and every one of them deals with demons, gods, lore, witchcraft, religion…you name it!”

 

Sam felt like a kid in a candy shop. She’d always been geeky and had developed an early love for reading –moving around all the time the characters in the stories she read as a kid instantly becoming the one constant in her life besides Dean and her father– but this place was just…awesome!

 

“So, what are you looking for? You know, specifically?”

 

Sam knew that Justin was trying to help but she wasn’t completely sure she could trust the guy. Besides, she wasn’t interested in going around announcing “well, you know, I used to be a ‘guy’ till some witch cursed me and turned me into a ‘chick’.” No, that was something Sam wasn’t interested in sharing…at all!

 

Luckily, the eldest Winchester knew his ‘sister’ too well and quickly stepped in.

 

“Curses and spells where a specific symbol is used…show ‘im, Sammy.”

 

“Yeah, this one,” the brunette said showing Justin the picture she’d taken with her phone.

 

“Mmm, not sure I’ve seen it before…but there’s a whole section on symbology over there,” he explained pointing at some shelves and then added “maybe you could start with that?”

 

Sam looked at the shelves thinking “God…this is gonna take forever!”

 

Justin guessed what the brunette was thinking from the look on her face and said “Lots and lots of books, I know,” charmingly smiling at her. “Listen, I gotta go check on Mac now, he hasn’t been feeling well lately, but I’ll come later and help you…” and then he quickly added “…two, guys, if you want,” noticing the ‘unfriendly’ look Dean was giving him.

 

“Sure, that’ll be…” Sam started saying but Dean quickly cut her short.

 

“Nah, no need, kiddo. I’m sure we’ll be just fine. Go check on your grandpa now, and don’t worry about us,” the blonde said patting Justin on the back and not so subtly walking him out of the room –though ‘pushing’ was a far more accurate word for what he was doing!– and closing the door behind him.

 

“What’s up with you?” Sam asked frowning.

 

“Nothing…what? You wanna tell him you’re looking for a genderswap spell?”

 

“No,” Sam answered in a small voice.

 

“Precisely! Now let’s get down to business, pass me one of those books.”

 

The Winchesters spent all day with their noses stuck in old books, but with no luck. They’d decided to skip lunch to make progress but despite their efforts, they’d only managed to go over only a handful of books.

 

It was already late in the evening and they were both exhausted. Sam rubbed her eyes trying hard to focus on the yellow pages before her.

 

“We should call it a day, Sam.”

 

“Okay, go back to the motel. I’ll get a ride later.”

 

Dean looked at her in disbelief and slightly pissed: there was no way he was going to leave Sammy with Justin, much less let him drive her back. He wanted to yell at Sam –the green-eyed monster slowly drawing out its claws– but Dean knew better. 

 

He looked at Sam calmly and persuasively explained “C’mon, Sammy, you’re beat too. We’ve been reading all day and we still have dozens of books to go over. We can come back tomorrow.”

 

Sam reluctantly agreed knowing her brother was right. It was impossible to go over every book on a single day. It would take much longer than that, most probably days…if not weeks! 

 

They were putting everything back in place, ready to leave, when an excited Justin came through the door.

 

“Okay, Mac’s asleep and doesn’t need me anymore so how can I help you, sweetheart?” he asked the brunette.

 

“That’s okay, we’re done for today,” Dean replied immediately, wanting to shred the guy to pieces for daring to call ‘his’ Sammy ‘sweetheart’…who did he think he was, uh?

 

Luckily, Sam was one hundred percent focused on finding the cure to her condition and completely unaware of the guy’s remarks and passes at her; and that made things slightly more bearable for Dean.

 

“Oh, I see…” Justin answered, clearly disappointed.

 

“Yeah, thanks a lot for letting us check the books but it’s kinda late so we’re leaving…is it okay if we come back tomorrow? See, we’ve only been over a few books today,” the brunette asked.

 

“Of course, you can come back tomorrow…actually, you can take all the time you want and call in as often as you like!” the young McNeal replied flashing a wide grin to Sam.

 

“Great, thanks! C’mon, Sammy, let’s get going,” Dean quickly insisted, not liking where things were going.

 

“Listen, erm, it’s late so…why don’t you stay over for dinner?”

 

“Thanks, kid, but we don’t wanna be any more trouble.”

 

“No trouble at all. I’d definitely enjoy some company.”

 

“Thanks, seriously, but we’re beat and really need to get some sleep,” the blonde insisted.

 

Sam looked at her brother and couldn’t believe her own ears. Dean was refusing a free meal? What the heck had gotten into him?

 

The two men exchanged their goodbyes, all fake smiles, and the Winchesters ‘finally’ left. As soon as they got in the Impala, Sam turned to her brother and asked “What the hell was all that about?”

 

“It was nothing. I just wanted to get outta there.”

 

“Dean, seriously, since when do you turn down a free meal?”

 

“Like I said, I just wanted to go.”

 

If there was one thing which hadn’t changed one bit in Sam since she’d turned was her stubbornness. As a matter of fact, it’d even grown stronger.

 

“Dean…spill…right now.”

 

Dean turned to his sister and said “C’mon, drop the bitch face.”

 

“Bitch face? Believe me, that’ll be the least of your problems if you don’t spill now,” she said looking dead serious.

 

“Fine, whatever! I just…just…”

 

“Just…what, Dean?”

 

“I just didn’t like the way that guy was staring at you, that’s all.”

 

“Which guy?”

 

“Seriously, Sam? Which guy? Justin. That’s who.”

 

“He was just being nice, haven’t you heard of the southern hospitality?”

 

“Of course I have, and trust me, that had nothing to do with it. That guy was totally checking you out and taking every chance to make a pass at you.”

 

“You’re imagining things, Dean.”

 

“No, I’m not. I saw the way he talked to you and ‘looked’ at you and didn’t like it at all!”

 

“You’re crazy!”

 

“No, I’m not! I know what I’m talking about! I’m a ‘guy’! And I know ‘how’ guys think!”

 

Sam cleared her throat and took deep breaths trying to keep her temper on check but failed dismally and after a few seconds she yelled “Are you fucking kidding me???!!! I’m a guy too! Well, used to be! Whatever! The point is not all guys are horny pervs!”

 

“You know, what, Sam? Let’s just drop it. I don’t wanna fight.”

 

“Whatever!” she replied rolling her eyes.

 

The next couple of days were rather uneventful. The Winchesters spent long hours in Mac’s study going through the books with Justin hovering around Sam whenever he had the chance. The whole situation was becoming increasingly difficult for Dean, who’d come to develop what could only be described as sheer hatred for Justin. 

 

Besides, all those hours sitting across the table from Sam, unable to hold her, kiss her, and tell her she meant the world to him didn’t make things any easier. He’d somehow managed to hide it all, though, and felt secretly proud of it.

 

However, he knew he’d have to do something soon. He couldn’t go on living like that. He was freaking horny all the time now and completely unable to act on his urges…and it was driving him insane! 

 

So, after long and careful consideration, he concluded there was only one thing left for him to do: literally fuck Sammy out of his system.


	16. Chapter 16

  
Author's notes: Hi, everyone! Here's chapter 16...sorry it's taking me this long to post...but again I promise I'll finish my fic...just hang in there, okay?  
Keep reviewing, please! I love your feedback! :-)  
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Dean was determined to literally fuck Sam out of his system so every night when they were done researching and Sam was safe and sound in their motel room, he’d hit the bars. He did a different girl every night: blondes and redheads. No brunettes, though –they reminded him too much of Sam.

 

Sam didn’t say a word whenever Dean took a shower and left her alone in their room…all night. But it hurt her terribly. It was breaking her heart and she knew there was nothing she could do about it. It was Dean being Dean. He’d always been a ladies’ man and now was no different. Besides, what she felt for him, no matter how deep and intense it was, was plain ‘wrong’…and then there was the fact that Dean wasn’t interested in her at all. Dean’s rejection of her kiss had been clear proof of that.

 

Days went by and they seemed to fall into a routine: breakfast in their room, research at Mac’s place, back to town for dinner, and Dean hitting the bars leaving Sam by herself.

 

Another day was over and things were pretty much the same. They were sitting at a booth at the diner across their motel where they’d become pretty much regulars.

 

“Order some pie and coffee,” Dean said standing up.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Gotta go to the can…what? Want me to draw you a picture?” he replied mockingly.

 

“Geez, Dean, you’re such a pig!”

 

“Only for you, princess,” the blonde answered winking and smirking before disappearing into the bathroom.

 

Sam called the waiter, a middle-aged woman who’d clearly seen her share of life, and she soon approached her table.

 

“The usual, dear?”

 

“Yeah, two coffees and apple pie, please.”

 

“Anything else?”

 

“No, thanks.”

 

“Maybe I shouldn’t be saying this but your boyfriend’s head over heels for you, you know? The way he looks at you…he’s totally in love! It’s so nice to see you two together, love birds!”

 

“Excuse me?” Sam asked, wide-eyed, thinking the woman had lost her mind but never pointing out it was her ‘brother’ she was talking about. Instead, she quickly asked “Really? You think so?”

 

“Oh, yeah, and it’s not just lust, there’s love there too, tons of it! Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. That boy loves you heart and soul,” she responded and then added “you’re one lucky girl.”

 

That said, the waitress went to get her order leaving an utterly confused Sam sitting at the table. She was staring at the blue formica table in total shock wondering why the waitress had said that, wondering what she’d perceived that she herself had failed to see. The woman had taken for granted that Dean and her were a couple, that they were in love, that ‘Dean’ was ‘in love’ with ‘her’…Sam was confused and doubtful: could it actually be possible? Could Dean be harboring feelings for her? And if so, then why did he repeatedly push her away? No, the waitress must’ve gotten it all wrong…there was no way it could be true!

 

Sam was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn’t see Dean coming back.

 

“You ordered the coffee?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And the pie?”

 

“Yes, Dean, I ordered coffee and pie just like you told me, okay?” Sam answered rolling her eyes.

 

Dean was about to retort and tell his sister to stop acting so bitchy but was cut short by the waitress.

 

“Two coffees and apple pie,” she said placing the plates and mugs on the table. “Oh, and I threw in some vanilla ice-cream, too, it’s really good!” she explained staring at both Winchesters and smiling at Sam.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome, darling. Enjoy!” she said and winked at the brunette before leaving.

 

Okay, Dean wasn’t stupid and he instantly realized something was up.

 

“What was all that about, Sammy?”

 

“Nothing,” she answered, shrugging her shoulders and doing her best to look innocent and oblivious. 

 

She managed to pull it off and was grateful when her brother didn’t push the matter. But still, just in case, she focused on her coffee pretending everything was okay. Sam was sipping from her mug, the waitress’s words still resonating in her head “Your boyfriend’s head over heels for you…the way he looks at you…he’s totally in love…and it’s not just lust, there’s love there, too, tons of it…that boy loves you heart and soul.”

 

The words went on and on inside her head, no matter how hard she tried to push them away. And then, realizing it wasn’t something she could ignore, Sam decided she’d look at the matter closely and find out for good whether Dean was in love with her or not.

 

Sam carefully started to watch Dean’s every move and quickly realized that the blonde had his eyes fixed on her ‘all’ the time. At first, she wasn’t quite sure what it actually meant since it seemed completely natural after everything that had happened, her big brother –as overprotective of her as he was– wouldn’t leave her out of his sight. But then, she caught him checking her out several times and her suspicions were confirmed. Of course, she pretended not to notice: but the way he’d been staring at her –namely her rack and butt– could only be described as ‘lustful’.

 

Sam was both thrilled and confused. Fine, there was no way to know if Dean was in love with her, at least not yet, but he clearly wanted her just as bad as she wanted him, so the question was: why had he turned down her kisses? Why was he keeping her at a distance? Why was he sleeping around so much? She gave the whole thing long and careful consideration and came to the conclusion that he couldn’t come to terms with his feelings and desires. He was clearly into her, but was not willing to deal with it.

 

For the first time in a really long time, Sam was simply…happy. Dean wanted her, and he loved her, maybe he wasn’t ‘in love’ with her but that might change over time. She saw a glimmer of hope and felt extremely grateful.

 

However, she knew she’d have to do something about it because it was pretty clear that Hell would freeze before Dean made a move. She knew she had to come up with some sort of a plan. It was manipulative, true, but it was the only thing she could do.

 

She thought hard for a while but couldn’t think of anything so she decided to review her notes –the ones she’d gotten from Mac’s books– and then the solution presented itself: Justin.

 

Sam had realized –but only after her brother had pointed it out!– that Mac’s grandson had the hots for her. She’d ignored his passes at her so far, but desperate times called for desperate measures and she thought it was high time she changed her tactics.

 

Justin and Sam were about the same age and she’d learned he was majoring in anthropology and sociology, and was supposed to take care of Mac’s collection when the old man was gone. Justin had been nice and helpful, and invited them over for dinner on more than one occasion, but Dean had always come up with the lamest excuses and they’d never accepted any of his invites, not even once, and Sam now guessed Dean had acted that way out of sheer jealousy, and she thought it wise to use it to her own advantage.

 

She started spending more time with Justin in the study: she’d ask him to help her get some books, go over her notes, and that sort of thing, and the guy was more than willing to oblige. Sam was all smiles around him and shifted her focus of attention from Dean –who she was basically ignoring now- to Justin. She felt guilty for using Mac’s grandson and leading him on like that, but she couldn’t think of anything else to make Dean come around.

 

The blonde couldn’t get a grasp on what was happening. His sister was all smiles around Justin and devoting all her attention to him. Hell, she even seemed more interested in that nerdy guy than in finding the cure. He kept watching the two brunettes engaged in some stupid conversation about college and felt totally confused. What was up with Sam? Why was she so ‘friendly’ around Justin…and worse still, why was she pretty much ignoring him?

 

Dean put up with Sam’s behavior for days and finally asked, “What’s up with you, Sam?”

 

“What d’you mean?”

 

“You know exactly what I mean…why are you so ‘friendly’ around Justin?”

 

“You said it yourself, Dean, Mac and Justin have been really nice and helpful and, well, I’m just being friendly, that’s all.”

 

Dean stared at Sam, pissed off, and said “don’t gimme that crap! You’re being way more than friendly!”

 

“Dean, seriously. Stop imagining things!” she replied rolling her eyes and disappearing into the bathroom.

 

The eldest Winchester wanted to follow her into the bathroom, pin her against the wall and show her, for good, that she belonged to him, that no one laid a finger on her, but then common sense kicked in and he realized how ‘irrational’ it all was.

 

Days went by and he had to put up with some more of Sam’s ‘torture’. He saw her smiling and looking at Justin as if he was the only man in the world. Jealousy was eating away at Dean, who was finding it harder and harder to hide how much he wanted to kick Justin’s ass. He was doing the greatest of efforts not to kill the guy there and then, and surprisingly, he was succeeding. That secretly filled him with pride for he’d never been one to know self-control. At least that was until he caught Sam undoing some buttons of her plaid shirt so that she could show some cleavage.

 

The second Dean caught sight of Sam undoing those buttons with her delicate fingers so that that douche could enjoy that heavenly view, the blonde felt his blood boiling. However, he couldn’t stop his eyes from starting at those perky mounds and wishing he could lay his hands on them.

 

He felt his breath becoming uneven, and a very distinctive and familiar warmth pooling in his groin. “Damn it, Winchester!” he thought knowing that if he didn’t pull himself together he’d be sporting an erection on in time. Staring at Sam wasn’t helping –not one bit– so he reluctantly forced his eyes to shift and focus on the yellow pages before him, and said “kinda chilly, Sammy, why don’t ya put on your hoodie?”

 

The brunette looked at him for a moment and replied “I’m fine,” and continued reading.

 

Sam had actually planned to walk to Justin and flirt with him –and drive Dean insanely jealous– but seeing how flushed the blonde was, his uneven breath, and how hard he was trying to hide it all, she guessed there was no need. After all, she wanted to make Dean jealous so that he’d admit his feelings for her…she didn’t want to hurt him and there was only so much a guy could take!

 

Besides, she was truly enjoying the view from her seat: gosh, Dean looked all hot and bothered! And Sam wanted to climb over that desk, bridge the gap between them, and kiss him hard till they both passed out. Man, keeping it together was becoming increasingly difficult for the brunette as well and she decided it was time to kick it up a notch.

 

It was late in the evening and the Winchesters were back in their motel room. Sam was lying on her bed reading some notes she’d taken that day, trying to make sense of an old curse, while Dean had a shower and got ready to hit the bars. Truth be told, he wasn’t in the mood to go out but after what Sam had done –unbuttoning her shirt and revealing the soft curves of her breasts– Dean had been walking half-hard all day, and he knew that if he stayed in their room, with Sam, he might end up doing something he’d regret. So, he thought it best to shower and get the hell out of there.

 

When he stepped out of the bathroom, he found Sam sprawled on her bed animatedly speaking on her cell with no other than Justin.

 

“Yeah, okay. (…) Yeah, I know where it is. (…) I’ll see you there in an hour then.”

 

Dean frowned, his jaw instantly going tense and asked “’Who’ are you meeting ‘where’ in an hour, Sam?”

 

“Justin and I are going out for drinks,” she answered casually.

 

The eldest looked at her wide-eyes, speechless. Then, after several minutes, when the true meaning of those words finally sank in, he literally yelled “You’re going out on…a ‘date’…with Justin???!!!”

 

“Take it easy, Dean. It’s just drinks, no big deal,” she said, dismissing his comment and acting as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

 

“Take it easy? Take it easy???!!! Are you fucking kidding me, Sam???!!!”

 

So far, Dean had managed to keep it together, but the second he heard the words ‘date’, ‘drinks’ and ‘Justin’ in the same sentence, the little that was left of his self-control flew out the window. 

 

“What’s wrong with you? Why are you yelling at me like that? We both know Justin and he’s a nice guy.”

 

“A.nice.guy?” he echoed, punctuating the words.

 

“Yes, he’s a nice guy” she repeated, locking gazes with him. “He asked me out…on a date…and I said yes.”

 

“How can you even consider that???!!!”

 

“Why shouldn’t I? Tell me, Dean, what’s stopping me?”

 

The two Winchesters were so caught up in the argument they didn’t realize they’d systematically taken steps towards each other in synchrony, bringing them closer and closer till leaving them standing so close they were almost sharing breaths.

 

It as a staring contest, both so mad at each other –and needy– and refusing to back down. Dean was so furious he wanted to trash the room or better still, throw Sam on his bed and teach her not to mess with him. 

 

Hell, he was so pissed off right now that it’d be nothing but angry sex: he’d do her really hard, nail her to the mattress, and teach her a lesson. He’d make her beg for release, keep her on edge, torture her the way she’d been torturing him all this time, and then, when she truly surrendered, he’d let her have the pleasure he’d denied so far, make her cry out ‘his’ name in ecstasy. He’d show her ‘who’ called the shots and ‘who’ she belonged to. And then, much later, once she came to her senses and saw the error of her ways, they’d have make up sex and he’d be sweet and gentle, and worship every inch of her.

 

Dean knew that he was one second away from actually doing what he was thinking of and froze, so consumed by desire and jealousy and lust and love and frustration he could feel his entire body shaking.

 

“Come on, Dean, answer me! What’s stopping me from going out on a date with Justin!” she asked again, this time even more defiantly.

 

“Me! That’s what’s stopping you! No one’s putting their hands on you but me! You’re ‘mine’! You hear me? You belong to ‘me’!” were the words that he so desperately wanted to shout out loud; however, he pressed his lips together until they formed a thin line and simply took off, without uttering a word.

 

Sam saw her brother storming out of the room, a mix of rage and jealousy, and felt utterly frustrated. She kicked a chair and sent it flying across the room. She’d never meant for Dean to take off like that, on the contrary, she wanted him to stay with her and love her…or at least let her love him.

 

She let her body drop on the bed and stayed like that, lying still, for hours, her eyes staring at the damp ceiling as her mind worked furiously, trying to figure out the way to make Dean understand, to make him see there was no need to be so miserable when happiness was within reach for them both.

 

She was so deeply caught up in her own feelings and thoughts that she forgot about her date with Justin until her cell rang.

 

“Oh, Justin, hi. (…) Yeah, about that, I hope you don’t mind if we raincheck. (…) Not feeling well. (…) No, nothing serious…something I ate, my stomach’s kind of upset. (…) Okay, sure, some other time. (…) Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow. (…) Thanks for understanding. (…) Bye.”

 

Of course, Sam had lied through her teeth, but then she’d sounded pretty convincing and the sadness in her voice had been mistaken by sickness by the boy.

 

She lay still, waiting for Dean to come back, but that didn’t happen until daybreak and, by then, she’d fallen asleep.

 

Dean stormed out of the room in rampant fury. Gosh, he wished he was on a hunt so he could kill something because the oppression on his chest, and the wrath building inside him wouldn’t let him breathe. Violence had always been an outlet for him and as right then it was out of the question, he decided to go for second best: sex.

 

He went straight into a bar he’d seen earlier and scanned the premises. He quickly found what he was looking for: a brunette. She wasn’t as hot as Sam, but she’d have to do. Dean approached the girl, who was pretty wasted, and took her outside without saying a word. She was lusty and heady and followed the blonde without complaining.

 

Dean was so mad, his chest was heaving. He hated his life right now, hated how much he wanted and needed and loved Sam, hated Justin for being able to have what he wanted so badly, hated Sam for leaving him in such state…no, not really, no, he didn’t hate Sammy, but he no doubt wanted to punish her –even knowing he’d never be able, much less dare, to hurt her in any way– and seeing the drunk, horny girl before him, he decided she’d make a good surrogate.

 

He kissed her fiercely, angrily, until she was gasping and panting for air, out of breath, and then he bent her over the hood of the Impala. He pulled her skirt up and tore her panties. The girl didn’t protest, though. On the contrary, she was more than willing to oblige and spread her legs wide open for him and lifter her butt.

 

“Good,” he thought, “she likes it rough.”

 

He was secretly glad for it because he wasn’t in the mood for a sweet love-making session this time.

 

He placed his hands on her cheeks and parted them, till the hole hidden between them was in plain sight. He then unzipped his jeans, shoved his hand inside his boxers and pulled out his already fully erect member readying himself to take what he so desperately needed.

 

Then, without any warning, he aimed for her pucker with his length and hit home in one single motion. The girl cried out at the sudden intrusion –her body unprepared for Dean’s powerful and piercing thrust- as he used all of his body to push farther inside her. He soon started pounding in frenzy into her and kept going till he was spent, not caring one bit for the girl under him. 

 

Once his orgasm, and his fury, subsided, he stood upright and pulled out, instantly seeing his seed trickling between her cheeks and down her thighs.

 

“Damn it!” he cursed to himself “You stupid bastard didn’t use a condom!” 

 

He felt like kicking his own ass. He was a lot of things but careless regarding sex wasn’t one of them…at least till now. Luckily, he’d done her behind, which meant he wouldn’t knock her up, and then he guessed he could take some meds to take care of any potential STD. The girl looked healthy, but then you never knew!

 

Dean was straightening his clothes when the girl, who’d seemed pretty much unconscious after his ministrations, rolled over till she was lying on her back and quickly hooked her legs around him.

 

“That was ‘awesome’, stud! Now, come on, fuck me again!” she begged, licking her lips and looking hungrily at him as she rubbed her mound against his groin.

 

He was speechless. For starters, he didn’t have any protection on him, and he wasn’t willing to do anything stupid, no way he’d tempt his luck. And then, as enticing as the girl’s proposal should’ve sounded to him, he couldn’t help feeling disgusted by her, by her words, by what he’d just done, even by himself.

 

He quickly pulled her up and away from the hood of the Impala, unhooked her legs, and left her standing a few feet away from the car, raw lust emanating from her in increasing waves. He then got in the car and said “Sorry, sweetheart, gotta go,” and took off without uttering another word.

 

He spent the rest of the night driving around imagining what Sam was doing, torturing his heart and soul with images of Justin having ‘his Sammy’ all to himself. He couldn’t help but wonder if the lucky bastard would actually ‘get lucky’. He hated the idea of Sam letting that douche take her, literally take her, but he soon dismissed the idea. She wasn’t like that at all. She hadn’t even tried her own ‘equipment’ yet for Heaven’s sake. No, Sammy was no easy chick who’d let the first guy who asked her out pop her cherry. “Man, popping Sammy’s cherry…an experience that could only be described as heavenly,” he thought and quickly realized that no matter how enticing the whole idea seemed to him, there was absolutely no way he would ever know.


	17. Chapter 17

  
Author's notes: Hi, guys! First of all, sorry for taking this long to post my chapters. The thing is that it takes some time to get it all down on paper...hope you know what I mean!  
Also, I want to thank all the wonderful reviews I've been receiving lately. Hey, keep at it! I do love to get feedback!  
Here's a new chapter...hope you enjoy it as well!  


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Things were far from ‘okay’ between the Winchesters. Sam had tried pretty much everything she could think of to make Dean jealous –from showing some skin to flirting with Justin– but nothing had worked so far. All Dean did was yell at her and be pissed all the time now and, truth be told, Sam was growing tired of it.

 

Hence, since her plan was failing so dismally, and she was going to lose it any second, she thought it wiser to focus on her research. She started spending long hours with her nose stuck in Mac’s books, completely oblivious to the world around her.

 

Days and weeks went by, uneventful, until one night, while Dean was out hitting the bars as usual –and on women if you asked the brunette!– the young Winchester finally found the symbol she’d seen on the altar back in Somerton.

 

Sam’s heart began racing in anticipation and her eyes went through the yellow wrinkled pages at amazing speed. It turned out that the coven worshipped Hecate, some obscure Greek goddess of the underworld and transmutation. Sam carried on reading and learned that this particular deity was pretty ancient and was strongly associated with all things feminine. It seemed that she had quite a temper as well and was well-known for punishing whoever dared to mess with her or her followers.

 

Sam continued reading, eagerly passing the pages, and finally found the curse the witch had cast on ‘him’. Apparently, the whole point of the curse was to make men experience what it meant to be a woman, what it meant to be in ‘women’s shoes’ so to speak.

 

She pondered over it for a while and concluded that it made perfect sense. Hecate was heavily connected to the feminine world during patriarchal times, hence, ‘teaching men a lesson’ was the logical thing to do. She then remembered the murdered men in Somerton and said to herself “Rapists…abusers…yep, they had it coming!”

 

Not that she was okay with what happened to them. They’d been murdered viciously after all, but she got it. After her experience with that douche in the back of his truck, after almost getting raped, she got it. “Still…Hecate and her coven went too far,” she thought.

 

She went on reading and was rather shocked when she discovered that the curse wasn’t only meant to make men go through the bane of women. No. It wasn’t ‘just’ that, because it seemed that Sam’s first period should have killed her –bleeding to death in excruciating pain or something pretty much along those lines.

 

She wasn’t thrilled by the whole genderswap thing –the last few months had been a living Hell for her– but was glad the spell hadn’t worked as it was supposed to. She thought about it for a while and guessed the witch must have gotten the curse wrong or hadn’t finished casting it –with ‘him’ stabbing her to death and all!

 

Sam flipped through the pages eagerly looking for a reversal spell to fix her condition, to end her misery, and the second she learned that there was no such thing, that the change was ‘permanent’, she thought she’d go into cardiac arrest and die right there on the spot. Her heart sank at the revelation. She was stuck in this body…she’d be ‘girl!Sam’ the rest of her life.

 

The despair was too great for her to bear and she collapsed on the bed crying inconsolably, her face buried in her pillow. She cried long and hard, probably for hours, and secretly thanked Dean wasn’t around for she wouldn’t be able to hold her tears and pretend everything was just ‘peachy’.

 

She rolled over till she was lying on her back and stared at the damp patches on the ceiling. Her brain worked furiously, a million thoughts going through her mind despite herself. She didn’t want to think. She wanted her mind to go blank, have a break, but it was pointless, she had no control whatsoever. Her heart was racing, her breath was heavier and heavier by the minute, and her eyes were like waterfalls. She couldn’t get it together and the worst thing was the dreadful words inside her head, resonating over and over again like a litany “I’m stuck in a girl’s body…and I’m in love with Dean…but I’ll never have him.”

 

Sam hated everything that was happening to her, she truly and deeply hated her life right now. She’d be lovesick forever. She’d spend the remainder of her days on this earth beside the object of her affection –and desire!– and she’d never have him.

 

She’d already tried all sorts of things but nothing had worked so far and deep down she supposed –and feared– that the waitress had been wrong, that Dean wasn’t in love with her, that it was actually ‘brotherly’ love, and that she’d imagined it all simply because she wanted to believe it, because she wanted it to be true.

 

Sam felt terrible. She was feeling more and more depressed by the minute and wasn’t sure she’d be able to hide it all from Dean. A ‘really’ long time had gone by since she’d ‘turned’ and things had been upside down since then. Everything was a mess, had been for months, and despite her efforts to get things back on track, well, it all was pretty much out of control. It was as if she was stuck in some alternate universe from where there was no escape.

 

So, after pondering her current situation long and hard, she decided that since she couldn’t have Dean the way she wanted, at least she’d work hard to have her ‘brother’ back. It hurt her deeply –man, that was putting it mildly! It was like having her beating heart ripped out! But then she’d rather have a small part of her relationship with Dean than nothing at all.

 

Sam guessed he was mad at her –if not disgusted!– because she’d kissed him and she knew perfectly well that she’d have to get over him and move on or she’d most certainly die of a broken heart.

 

So, when Justin called her in the morning with some lame excuse, she did her best to sound nice and friendly.

 

“Hey, Sam! This is Justin.”

 

“Hi, Justin…something wrong?” she instinctively asked noticing it was way too early for a ‘friendly chat’.

 

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m calling because I’ve found some more books you might wanna look at.”

 

“Oh, okay. I’ll drop by later then,” she said looking at her watch, “after breakfast, and I’ll give you back the book you let me take with me.”

 

“Sorry! Hadn’t realized it was that early!” Justin apologized immediately, cursing himself for not waiting a few more hours before calling her, and quickly added “Hope I didn’t wake you up.”

 

“You didn’t. I’m quite of an early bird myself,” Sam replied. 

 

Obviously, she wasn’t going to tell him she’d spent all night up crying her heart out because her brother, her own brother, wouldn’t get at it with her…geez, she was so sick and twisted!

 

“Good. Hey, how ‘bout we go have breakfast before we stuck our noses in dusty old books? I mean, we’re both up already and there’s this place on 3rd and Peachtree where they serve the best pancakes you’ve ever had!” he explained trying to sound casual.

 

“Yeah, I think I’ve seen it.”

 

“So, 8:30 sound good for you?” he asked before Sam had the chance to turn him down.

 

He really liked the girl but she’d proved to be easy ‘prey’ so far, and now that she’d ‘finally’ agreed to go out with him –even if it was just breakfast– there was no way he’d let her get away.

 

Not that he was a player or anything of the kind, but he had good looks and he always got the girl, well, most of the time anyways! And he really liked Sam. Sam was smart and sweet and, man, she was freaking hot! Too bad her brother hovered over her 24/7, but he got it. If he had a sister who looked like her, he’d probably keep her in lockdown!

 

Justin was somewhat lost in his own musings when he noticed that Sam was awkwardly withdrawn, so he asked again, “So, Sam…see you at 8:30 then?”

 

Sam remained silent for a few more seconds and then said hesitantly, “Yes, sure.”

 

“Great! It’s a ‘date’ then,” he replied smiling triumphantly.

 

Sam wasn’t that sure, though, and definitely not one bit enthusiastic about the whole thing. But she guessed it was a step in the right direction. Plus she owed him, he’d asked her out before and she’d called it off last minute. And she knew Dean and her wouldn’t be around for long. Not now that she’d discovered there was no reversal spell, but still Justin was a nice guy and if Dean saw her with him, well, perhaps he’d think she was over him and she’d have her brother back. It wasn’t what she truly wanted but she was willing to settle for it.

 

Besides, Justin was nice and respectful and Sam knew he’d treat her right. And if he didn’t, if he hurt her in any way or even tried to, well, no matter how bad things were between her and Dean at the moment, she knew the blonde would beat the crap out of him.

 

Suddenly, Sam felt something warm inside. It felt good to know that Dean cared for her, that her brother loved her. ‘She’ was the one harboring those wrong ideas and feelings and she was fully determined to get over them.

 

She jumped out of bed and began going through her belongings trying to decide what to wear. Not that she had much to choose from or that she had any idea regarding appropriate outfits for dates so, in the end, she decided to put on a pair of skinny jeans, a blue v-neck, and her denim jacket.

 

She walked into the bathroom, stared at the reflection on the mirror, and studied it for a minute or so. Luckily, her eyes weren’t particularly red or puffy and she felt relieved. She wasn’t in the mood to do any explaining, or rather make up any story that justified swollen eyes.

 

She splashed some cold water on her face and then carefully dried it with a towel.

 

“Not bad,” she said to herself studying her eyes carefully. Nobody would be able to tell she’d been crying pretty much all night.

 

She assessed her face one more time and then let her hair down.

 

“Yeah…much better,” she thought.

 

Next, she grabbed her small cosmetics bag and applied some lipstick and mascara –after all, girls wore make-up, especially on dates, right?

 

Sam was busy applying the lip gloss when a slightly drunk Dean walked through the door. She instantly stepped out of the bathroom and started telling the blonde what she’d discovered.

 

“Hey, Dean,” she said trying to sound casual, “listen, I read some more last night after you left and turns out those symbols on the altar are part of some ritual to worship Hecate.”

 

Dean saw Sam’s lips moving and heard words like ‘Hecate’ and ‘curse’ coming out of her mouth but, in honest truth, he wasn’t listening to a thing she was saying…not when Sam seemed to be getting ready…to go out?

 

He looked up and down at her carefully, taking in every detail, and, after a few minutes, he finally asked “What’s with the jeans? Where did you get ‘em?”

 

Not that he had anything against them, man, they fitted Sam’s figure beautifully, practically like a second skin, but he didn’t like what they might mean…why was Sammy sort of ‘dressing up’ a little?

 

“These?” she asked looking at her pants. “They were on sale…I got them last week.”

 

Dean didn’t utter a word. He simply continued staring at Sam: the jeans, the v-neck, the make-up…Sam was getting ready for a ‘date’???!!! He might have been a ‘little’ dizzy due to all the shots he’d had, but all the signs were there, there was no doubt.

 

“You going out, Sam?” he asked frowning.

 

“What?” she asked slightly confused, “yeah…I am…but haven’t you heard a word I’ve just said?...about Hecate and the curse?...anyway, there’s only a few books I haven’t checked yet, though. But Justin-” she explained but was cut short by Dean.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Erm, I’m meeting Justin at some coffeeshop on Peachtree and 3rd. I’m returning this book he lent me yesterday and then I guess we’ll go to the mansion and go over a few more books.”

 

Okay, Dean didn’t like the sound of it…at all!

 

“What d’you mean ‘we’? I can drive you…no need for Justin to come to town,” he answered, anger and ‘jealousy’ growing inside him by the minute.

 

“It’s okay. I talked to Justin earlier and we agreed to meet at the coffeeshop and-”

 

“So, you’re going on a ‘date’?” he cut her short yet again, the blonde now clearly pissed off.

 

Sam looked at him and raised an eyebrow wondering what had gotten into him, wondering why he was so mad now, but remained silent not wanting to make it any worse –it was pretty obvious to her that he’d had a drink too many!

 

“Kinda lame if you ask me…I mean, you don’t ask a girl out for breakfast…unless you nail her first, of course!” he said trying to sound mocking and failing dismally despite his efforts. Actually, he was so mad his usually pouty lips were almost a thin line.

 

Sam was utterly confused by his reaction and simply said with a hurtful expression on her face, “Whatever, Dean! ‘Lame’ works just fine for me.”

 

She fixed her eyes on her brother for a moment. He looked so angry and she had no clue as to why. True, he was slightly drunk but still the way he was acting made no sense to her at all. He’d ignored her for weeks and now he was so mad at her…all the time…and she didn’t even know why.

 

She soon felt tears running down her cheeks. She’d put up with it all for way too long and now all those feelings she’d bottled up had somehow made their way out despite her efforts to keep them buried.

 

She instinctively covered her face with her small hands and turned around heading towards the bathroom, away from Dean. Evidently, she’d reached her limit and was about to crack. But right then, before she could get to the bathroom, she heard Dean’s quick footsteps, and the blonde suddenly got in her way and wrapped his arms around her.

 

“I’m sorry, Sammy…I didn’t mean to…please don’t cry…I won’t do it again…I’m so so sorry, baby,” he apologized over and over again.

 

Dean felt like scum, no, worse than that, he felt like one of the creepy things they hunted. He wasn’t only a sick pervert for lusting after Sammy, he was also a jerk for lashing out at her and make her cry of all things.

 

He held her tight and continued apologizing, feeling how Sam shook and sobbed, face buried in his chest. It was killing him. He’d dealt with plenty of difficult situations and lots of pain before, but ‘girl!Sam’ crying in his arms hurt more than anything he’d ever experienced in his life. It was as if somebody had driven a red hot iron poker through his heart and slowly twisted it till there was nothing left but an ice-cold hollow. And to think that he himself had caused it all was the icing on the cake.

 

He kept the brunette caged in his arms and rubbed soothing circles on her back till she calmed down and stopped weeping. They stayed like that for a while, without saying a word and then he noticed she was looking at him, seeking his eyes. They locked gazes and she brought her hand to his face in order to wipe away the tears he didn’t know he had shed.

 

“I’m so-” he began apologizing again but this time Sam cut him short.

 

“Listen, Dean,” she said and then sucked in a breath to muster up the courage to speak. “I’m a ‘woman’ now…and I’m attracted to men…I can’t help it…and I’m deeply sorry for what happened between us…you know…for what ‘I’ did,” she explained looking away, embarrassed, before adding, “for…’kissing’ you…and I promise I’ll never do it again.” 

 

She then looked into his eyes and continued, “but ‘this’…’this’ is killing me…I miss you…I miss you so much.”

 

Dean listened to her attentively and asked “What d’you mean, Sammy? I’m right here.”

 

“No, Dean, you’re not…you’ve been ignoring me for a ‘really’ long time now…you barely talk to me anymore…and you’re so mad…all the time,” she replied with watery eyes.

 

“I’m sorry, Sammy. I really am. It hasn’t been easy for me either, you know,” he explained, his eyes slowly filling with tears as well.

 

“Yes, I know, Dean, I know,” she said stroking his cheek. “But I need you…I love you and I want you back,” she added hesitantly. “I’m deeply sorry what I did and I swear I won’t let it happen again…no matter what…please, Dean…I can’t lose you…after everything that’s happened I won’t make it without you.”

 

He looked at Sam, her trembling lips and tear-streaked cheeks, and the pain he saw in those chocolate brown eyes made his heart sink. It was all his fault. He’d pushed her away because he didn’t trust himself around her, because it hurt too much to be around her and not be able to tell her –to ‘show’ her– how he felt for her. He’d been selfish, he’d only thought of himself, and he’d hurt Sam deeply.

 

Okay, not the best time for one of his guilt-trips! He mustered up all the strength he had left in him and focused on the brunette. Evidently, she needed him and she came first to him…she always had.

 

He stroked her face lovingly and left a trail of soft kisses on her cheeks, and soon noticed her breath growing heavier and her eyes practically glued on his lips. He looked at her wide-eyed, unable to believe what he was seeing…was it…could it be ‘need’…'lust’…in Sam’s eyes?


	18. Chapter 18

  
Author's notes: Hi, guys! Here's a new chapter. Hope you're enjoying my fic and are ready for many more chapters to come.  
BTW thanks a lot for all the reviews and suggestions. I think your comments do help make the story richer.  
Please don't forget to review!!! :-)  
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Dean was in total shock -and that barely began to describe his current state of mind! It couldn't be...he 'had' to be imagining things. It was his own filthy mind playing tricks on him.

 

And then, all of a sudden, he heard Sam saying, “I swear, Dean...I won't let it happen ever again.”

 

"Wait a minute...'won't' let it happen?...So, Sammy wants it too???!!!" he thought, realization slowly sinking in. 

 

"Sammy?" he asked, still holding her and refusing to let go.

 

"Yeah?" she uttered, trying real hard to hide how much their hug was affecting her.

 

"You love me?"

 

"Of course I do! How can you even ask that, Dean???!!!"

 

He sucked in a breath and asked the dreaded question, "Okay...but what I mean is do you 'love' me...you know...erm...do you 'want' me, Sammy?"

 

There. It was all out in the open now. No more misunderstandings or mixed signals. It was for the best, there was no doubt about it, and yet it didn't mean he feared the answer any less.

 

"What???!!!" she asked wide-eyed, unable to believe her own ears.

 

"Do.you.want.me?" the blonde repeated, this time punctuating his words, knowing that there was no way back, and bringing his face so close to hers that their noses were grazing and they were sharing breaths.

 

She remained silent, too stunned by his question to answer it, but she didn't need to because he saw the answer in her eyes...loud and clear. He then cupped her face and kissed her softly, lovingly, feather-like kisses that showed nothing but love. Her lips instantly responded to him of their own accord and she soon found herself wrapping her arms around him and gently caressing his back.

 

He continued kissing her with the utmost care, as if she was made of glass and any careless move or the slightest pressure might crack or break her and then, all of a sudden, she froze.

 

"Dean...Dean," she called repeteadly, but the blonde was too busy frenching her neck to register her words.

 

"Dean...please...listen!"

 

"What is it, princess?" he finally whispered against her skin in between kisses.

 

Now that she had his attention, well, at least part of it, she sucked in a breath and stated, "You...you don't have to do this," while she thought "You, moron!!! He's playing along for fear of hurting you...because you said you 'needed' him...not because he wants it! You know Dean! His own needs always come last! His only concern in life is taking care of you...always has been! This is typical Dean-like behavior...and you're taking advantage of him!!!"

 

"Dean...seriously...you don't have to...do this," she somehow managed to say while the blonde went on to nibble and lick her neck.

 

On hearing those words, he stopped kissing her, looked into her eyes, and asked "Okay, Sam, what's going on?"

 

However, his words went unheard and the brunette insisted, looking away, completely embarrassed, "What I just said...you don't have to do this."

 

He then lifted her chin and forced her to make eye contact with him.

 

"Hold on a second...you think I don't wanna...oh, Sammy!" He said sighing, "you wanna know why I've been acting the way I have lately? Why I've been so distant and mad...pretty much 24/7?"

 

She didn't utter a word. She simply nodded and listened attentively to the blonde.

 

"Well," he explained, "because having you around and not being to do 'anything' about it was driving me crazy...especially with that 'Justin' guy checking you out all the time and asking you out!!!"

 

"Really?" She asked in disbelief.

 

"Yeah...," he replied, letting the weight of his words sink in, and then admitted, "baby, I've been walking half-hard pretty much every day since you got turned!"

 

Sam blushed a vivid shade of red and smiled shyly. He looked at her and couldn't help thinking "Geez, she's adorable!"

 

They locked gazes, goofy smiles plastered across both their faces, and resumed their kisses, which soon became intense, lips and tongues fighting for dominance while their hands desperately stroked and touched every bit of skin they had access to.

 

Dean knew they'd end up in bed any second now, man, the very idea of it was driving him wild with desire, but he had to know 'exactly' what he was dealing with. So, he reluctantly drew his lips away from Sam's and asked, "Sammy?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Have you?...You know."

 

"What?" she asked frowning.

 

"Are you still...?"

 

"What, Dean???!!! What d'you wanna know???!!!" she asked, longing for his lips.

 

"Are you...," the blonde began saying, then took a deep breath, and carried on, "...a 'virgin'?"

 

"What???!!! You know I'm not!" She replied laughing loudly, honestly amused.

 

Dean ran his hand through his face and asked again, "Sam, listen, ever since you got turned...have you...done it?"

 

"No...not with you breathing down my neck 24/7, but what's that got to do with?...Oh."

 

And then, Sam 'finally' understood.

 

"Yeah," the blonde said, "that's what I was talking about."

 

Sam looked slightly embarrassed by the talk they were so evidently about to have. Funny thing, though, 'she' was the one who wasn't one bit interested in talking this time!

 

Dean seemed to guess what was on her mind -not surprising at all since he knew the brunette like the palm of his hand! Truth be told, he wasn't thrilled by the situation either, but he had to know...he needed to know so that he didn't hurt Sam...so that she didn't freak out.

 

"Okay...you haven't had sex...with anybody," he stated matter-of-factly, doing his best to sound casual. "But have you...?" he then added wiggling his fingers in front of her face.

 

She looked at him and instantly knew what he meant. Geez! She hated this! She really did! It was so freaking embarrassing! It was like having 'the talk' all over again, only this time it was much 'much' worse.

 

It'd been years ago but she remembered it vividly. Of course, back then 'she' was actually a 'he' but that hadn't made things any easier for Sam -or less embarrassing!

 

Sam and Dean were 15 and 19 respectively at the time and they were staying in a crappy old house in the middle of nowhere Nebraska. Their dad was working on a case with a couple of hunters and, for once, Sam was going to spend a full semester at the same school and he was excited at the prospect of having a little bit of normalcy in their 'unusual' lives, so to speak!

 

Dean didn't share one bit of Sam's excitement, though. However, he stuck to his usual behavior and diligently followed his father's orders: stay out of trouble and lay low till he was back -and take care of Sam, naturally. Not that their dad ever needed to say that last part out loud, at that point in their lives, taking care of the youngest Winchester had become Dean's top priority.

 

Those were good times for Sam. He studied hard at school and got straight As, and even made a couple of friends he played ball with sometimes. Yes, for once, life was good. There was no doubt, well, at least until he laid eyes on Ella Brooks. 

 

She was smart, and sweet, and really cute, and before he knew it, Sam had fallen hard for her. She was all he could think of night and day, especially at night, and it didn't take long before Dean became aware of it.

 

Not that it required any of his hunting skills, after all, he and his brother shared the bedroom and it was pretty difficult, if not impossible, to ignore Sam's wet dreams -not with his loud moan and large tent!

 

At first, Dean simply grinned and kept it to himself thinking "it was about time, Sammy!" but when things stayed the same for weeks and Sam started taking those long, 'extremely' long showers, the blonde decided to step in.

 

He wished his dad was around to take care of things himself -this was one of those father-son things after all! But then, on second thought, he remembered it'd been pretty much the same with him. Well, not exactly, he'd had to figure it all out on his own. At least Sam would have him now.

 

So, the following day, he left work and early, headed straight to the crappy house they were currently living in, and waited for Sam to come back from school.

 

"Hey, Sammy!"

 

"Hi, Dean," the brunette replied letting his backpack drop to the floor. "You're back early...wasn't expecting you till much later," he added, wondering what the blonde was doing there since he usually 'hanged out' with the waitress from the diner across the street once her shift was over.

 

"Yeah, I know. Slow day so Mr Roberts decided to close early," was all Dean said.

 

"Okay," the brunette simply replied and sat down on the couch, next to his brother.

 

The blonde surfed channels for a short while till he found something 'decent' to watch.

 

"Oh, Dean! Come on, man! 'Another' Clint Eastwood western???!!!" Sam protested rolling his eyes.

 

"Hey, shut your piehole!" The eldest retorted, "the deal was we get to choose what to watch every other day, and today happens to be my turn...now go get me a beer."

 

"I'm not your maid, you know!" The brunette replied, glaring at him, but stood up anyway and went to the kitchen.

 

"Here," he said a few minutes later, handing over a beer to his brother.

 

The blonde saw the second bottle the brunette had brought for himself but didn't say anything. Instead, he replied winking "Thanks, bitch!" which got him the standard "Jerk!" from Sam.

 

They both sat down on the couch and quietly watched the TV.

 

"So, anything new, Sammy?" the eldest asked after a while.

 

"Nah, not much."

 

"Huh, really?"

 

Sam frowned and shifted his eyes from the screen to his brother with some concern, guessing that Dean was on to something and wondering what it might be -and knowing it wouldn't be particularly 'pleasant' for him!

 

He found his brother looking at him, smirking, and with a mocking look in his eyes.

 

"What?"

 

"Nothing," the blonde said yawning and stretching his arms out, pretending to be tired, before adding "Just try to keep quiet at night, will you? Not exactly easy to get some decent sleep with you moaning and calling ‘Ella’ over and over again!"

 

On hearing those words, Sam went all shades of red. He had no idea he'd been calling out to her in his sleep...let alone 'moaning' for Christ's sake! He froze, eyes fixed on the screen as if he was watching the best movie ever, obviously too embarrassed to utter a word.

 

Dean saw Sam's face turning as red as a ripe tomato and had to do his best to hold his chuckles.

 

"I mean it, Sam," he carried on, "better do something about it real fast...I mean, I can put up with the cold showers with you taking really 'really' long showers and using up 'all' the hot water...'all' the time...but I need to sleep, man."

 

"Fine, Dean! I'm sorry, okay? I did-didn't mean to keep you up. I'll just sleep on the couch from now on!" The brunette yelled.

 

Okay, apparently he'd gone 'a bit' too far. He'd only meant to bug Sammy, have a laugh. Brothers did this sort of thing all the time, 'they' did this sort of thing all the time, but it seemed it all was far more serious than the blonde had imagined.

 

Sam furiously grabbed his backpack and paced the room unable to decide whether to go to the bedroom or outside.

 

"Hey! Easy, tiger!" Dean said standing up and waving his hands in mid-air. "Come on, man, you can do your homework later," he explained pointing at Sam's bag.

 

The brunette glared at him in response, evidently mad at him.

 

"C'mon, sit down and finish your beer...you know dad would kill me if he knew I let you drink when he's not around," he added with an honest smile.

 

The youngest Winchester was still angry, but when the corner of his mouth curled up slightly, the blonde knew everything was fine between them.

 

"Hey, I promise I won't mock you...that much...okay, Sammy?" he then added with a wink and a smile.

 

"It's 'Sam', Dean!" He retorted, only this time he couldn't help smiling.

 

"Fine!...'Sam’...Now, sit down, finish your beer," the blonde said patting the couch invitingly.

 

They both sat back down on the couch and continued sipping from their bottles, watching the movie. Dean felt the tension between them disappearing quickly and supposed it was as good a time to talk, actually 'talk', about what was going on.

 

"So. Who's this Ella chick?"

 

"Erm...no one...just a girl from school."

 

"Okay...and?"

 

"And...'what', Dean?"

 

"She hot?" He asked smirking.

 

"I guess," Sam replied shyly.

 

"And you like 'er, don't you?"

Sam didn't utter a word. He simply shrugged and kept his eyes fixed on the screen. 

 

Dean looked at his brother out of the corner of his eye and stated, "Okay, so you like her." The blonde then paused for a moment before asking point blank, "You nailed her yet?"

 

Sam, who was sipping his beer, practically choked on hearing those words, though he probably shouldn't have, especially knowing his brother so well! And as soon as he got his breath back, he yelled, "Dean!"

 

"What? She's hot, you like 'er, so, you closed the deal yet?" the blonde asked.

 

Sam hated it when Dean talked like that -which was most of the time!- and he knew his brother wouldn't leave him alone till he spilt it all out. So, he took a deep breath and shyly answered "No."

 

"Okay...but I guess you've been thinking about it, right, kiddo?" the blonde asked ruffling his hair enthusiastically.

 

"Stop it, Dean!" The young Winchester protested pushing the blonde away. He remained silent for a while and then explained "We...erm...went out a couple of times... and...erm-"

 

"Look at you, Sammy! My little bro's got a girl!" Dean cut him short, 'playfully' nudging him on his ribs.

 

"Stop it, Dean! I mean it!" Sam protested loudly again, before adding, "'Sides, it's not the first girl I've dated, you know."

 

"Okay, sorry," his brother apologized. "So, what are you waiting for?"

 

On hearing those words, Sam went dead silent and fixed his eyes on the ratty carpet.

 

Getting no response, Dean insisted, "Hey, Sam?"

 

The blonde quickly realized the brunette was struggling for words, and so he decided to be patient and wait, to give him a minute till he was ready to carry on.

 

"I really 'really' like Ella, Dean...She's cute, and sweet, and funny, and so smart you wouldn't believe it!" Sam explained excitedly, grinning and with a dreamy gaze.

 

Okay, so Sammy had a crush...

 

"Sounds like a great kid, Sam."

 

"Yeah, she is...She's 'awesome'!"

 

"Okay, so...what are you waiting for?" Dean asked encouragingly.

 

"Erm...no-nothing," the brunette replied shrugging as he did and undid the zipper of his hoodie over and over again!

 

"You wanna be with her. You said it yourself."

 

"Yeah, I know...and I do...it's just that-that..." he stuttered, 'somewhat' uncomfortable with the situation.

 

"What is it, Sammy?"

 

"Well, erm, it's just that I've never...you know."

 

"You've never 'what'?"

 

"You know, I've never...you know," Sam replied, his initial uneasiness quickly turning into sheer embarrassment.

 

"You've never...'been laid'?...That what you're trying to say?" Dean asked bluntly.

 

"Yeah," was all the brunette said, looking down, and turning all shades of red.

 

Dean stared at his brother, wide-eyed, stunned by the revelation. True, he'd suspected it all along, but now that he knew for sure, he couldn't help feeling astonished.

 

He'd always known that they were different, especially when it came to sex and women. He'd always been a ladies’ man himself whereas Sam was more of a geeky and shy kind of guy.

 

Yet, despite his short-comings in the 'seduction department' so to speak, he had to admit the kid was easy on the eyes. He was pretty tall for his age, and his shoulders were getting broader and broader, plus he had those puppy-dog eyes and innate sweetness chicks liked so much...So, how come Sam was still a virgin?

 

The youngest Winchester looked too embarrassed -almost mortified- to keep talking and the eldest decided to give him a break for the time being -well, at least until the following day!


	19. Chapter 19

  
Author's notes: Hi, guys! Sorry for the delay! Before you read this chapter I suggest you quickly review the previous one so that you can follow the storyline!  
Hope you enjoy it and review!  
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* * *

Sam was busy in the kitchen, almost done with the dishes, and about to get ready for his date with Ella when Dean walked through the door.

 

“Hey, Dean!”

 

“Hey, Sammy! Leave that and come ‘ere for a minute.”

 

Sam dried his hands and walked towards his brother, who was already making himself comfortable on the ratty couch and holding something shinny in his hand. His eyes went straight to the sparkling little object and instantly identified what it was: a key…a key to a motel room.

 

He didn’t say a word, though, and swallowed hard while he sat down next to Dean.

 

“It’s Friday so I guess you’re going out with your girl, right, Sammy?”

 

“Yeah, we’re going to the movies,” Sam replied nodding.

 

“Great! So, here’s what you’re gonna do: after the movie, you drive ‘er somewhere romantic,” Dean explained handing over to Sam the keys to the Impala, “some place where you can ‘gaze at the stars’, or whatever…something that gets you both in the mood…something that gets ‘her’ in the mood, know what I mean?...And then, you go straight here. Address is on the back,” he added jiggling the motel room key before Sam’s eyes.

 

“Not that fancy, but it’s pretty decent and clean…I’m sure it’ll do.”

 

Sam looked at him jaw-slacked. Dean was letting him drive the car? His ‘baby’? And even more so, take ‘her’ with him…by himself…maybe all night? And on top of that, he’d gotten him a motel room? Wow! He had and awesome brother! Yeah, there was absolutely no doubt!

 

“Hey, Sam! You listening to me or what?” the eldest said waving his hand before the brunette’s eyes.

 

“Dean…you’re letting me take the Impala…your ‘baby’?”

 

“Yeah…so drive safe, Sammy, ‘cause I swear I’ll kick your ass if you so much as scratch ‘er, you hear me?”

 

“I promise I’ll take good care of her,” Sam replied solemnly.

 

“You’d better!” Dean warned and then went on to explain, “Now, you’ve got the room till tomorrow noon so you can take your time, no need to rush things. Anyway, I guess Ella’s a ‘good girl’ and has a curfew so you probably won’t spend all night together but still.”

 

“Actually, I think that after our date she’s gonna see a friend and stay over at her place perhaps-” the youngest Winchester began explaining but was cut short by his brother.

 

“Perfect! You’ve got ‘all night’ then!”

 

“Yeah…I guess I do…” Sam agreed, the reality of the situation slowly sinking in, and fear quickly spreading all over him.

 

Dean saw Sam’s face turning serious and somewhat pale, and guessed the kid was nervous –more like freaking out actually!– so he said reassuringly, “You’re gonna be just fine, Sam.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” the brunette replied smiling nervously, panic beginning to show in his voice.

 

“Seriously, Sam, you’re gonna be just fine…Now, listen carefully…before you ‘close the deal’, you’re gonna go down on her, okay? That way she’ll be good and ready for you.”

 

“O-okay,” he said in a small voice.

 

“Hey…Sammy?” the blonde asked, looking into his eyes, “You’ve never…?”

 

Sam shook his head and looked away, his cheeks turning a vivid shade of red, evidently embarrassed.

 

“Huh…So, so far…what you have done ‘exactly’?”

 

“Erm…made out.”

 

Okay, the kid had no experience whatsoever, but he himself had plenty and was more than willing to share.

 

“Alright…no big deal,” he quickly said, seeing how lost, how concerned and downright scared his brother looked. “All you gotta do is…you know…erm…,” he mumbled, trying to find the right words to explain it all, “…pretend you’re eating ice-cream…Yeah, just like that…same thing as licking ice-cream…You’re gonna lick and suck, but you’re gonna do it ‘real’ slow, don’t rush it, okay?”

 

Sam nodded without uttering a word, listening attentively to his brother’s expert advice.

 

“And be gentle, ‘very’ gentle, you hear me? And don’t go straight for the ‘main prize’…First you stroke and kiss ‘er ‘all over’.”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“And only then, with your face buried between her legs, you stick it right in.”

 

“What d’you mean?”

 

Dean saw confusion written all over his brother’s face and instantly realized he’d have to spell it all out for him.

 

“Your ‘tongue’, Sammy.”

 

“Oh,” was all the brunette replied, his face turning impossibly red with embarrassment.

 

“You stick it deep inside, as far as you can, and then start darting it in and out, and you twist it and twirl it.”

 

“O-okay.”

 

“You might wanna use your hands, your fingers actually. You could use your thumb, you know, to ‘stimulate’ her on the outside first…Be real careful, though. Don’t forget it’s a very sensitive spot.”

 

Sam nodded and paid attention to every single word that his brother said.

 

“You could also use a couple of fingers…you know if she’s a virgin too?”

 

Sam didn’t utter a word, he simply shrugged and smiled shyly.

 

“No problem. You can start with one finger. Go slow, real easy on her, and once your finger is all the way inside her, you start stroking her ‘gently’…See how she responds. If she’s okay, if she’s not in pain or uncomfortable, then you stick another finger inside ‘er and keep going…And don’t forget, if your face ain’t smeared, you ain’t doing it right!”

 

“Dean!”

 

“What? It’s the truth!”

 

“Alright, but…”

 

“Yeah, Sammy?”

 

“How…I mean…How long…How d’you know when…?”

 

“When ‘what’?” the blonde echoed, “When to ‘pull in’?”

 

“Yeah,” Sam said nodding and blushing.

 

He felt impossibly mortified talking about this with Dean –with anybody actually! But then, as popular as his brother was with the ladies, he guessed the blonde was a great source of information.

 

“Just pay attention to her: her every move, her ‘moans’…You’ll know when, trust me,” Dean explained patting him on the back. “Same thing, Sammy. Just take it slow…You pull in less than half an inch at a time, give yourself time to…’adjust’…but you always try and make it good for her. Believe me, if you work hard and make sure she has a good time, she’ll be more than willing to pay back the favor!” Dean added smirking and giving him a knowing look.

 

Dean wiggled his fingers before her face and saw Sam shaking her head, absently looking down, her mind evidently a thousand miles away.

 

It was obvious to the blonde that she was far from enjoying his questions and she was sort of ‘hiding’ from it all inside her head. Clearly, she wasn’t going to cooperate much, so he gently lifted her chin till their gazes locked and then asked again, “Alright, baby…what ‘exactly’ have you done so far?”

 

The second he touched her, Sam was sent back to reality, and replied, “Erm…nothing.”

 

“What d’you mean ‘nothing’?” he asked again, somewhat stunned by her words.

 

“Precisely that, Dean…’Nothing’.”

 

“Okay, lemme see if I get this straight…What you’re saying is that you haven’t touched…yourself…in ‘any way’…at all…That what you’re saying?”

 

Sam looked down again and nodded.

 

“Wow!” was Dean’s initial response, and then quickly added, “Why not, Sammy?” clearly confused and even slightly shocked by the revelation.

 

“I-I don’t know,” she replied hesitantly, “I don’t even look at my body…I mean, I’ve gotten used to it…kinda…but not entirely I guess.”

 

He understood the actual meaning of her words and felt adrenaline rushing through him. He’d always preferred the ladies with experience –there was no denying that!– but finding out that he’d be touching Sam for the very first time in places that nobody had touched before, places that she hadn’t ventured to explore herself, made his heart race in anticipation.

 

It was hard to explain. He’d always been both a very sensous and sexual creature, but he could swear he’d never been this aroused in his life before. He’d had his fair share of women, most of them highly experienced, which, if you asked him, was definitely a plus! And yet, having Sammy in his arms, her cheeks blushed while she nervously bit her lower lip, looking impossibly adorable, was making his lust rise to levels he never thought possible…his breath soon growing heavier and his pants feeling uncomfortably tight!

 

Sam knew the kind of women Dean usually went for, and she also knew she was far too different from them, she was fully aware of that. She didn’t resemble them at all. She noticed that Dean hadn’t uttered a word yet, no reaction whatsoever to what she’d just said, and she began fearing he might have second thoughts. So, she sucked in a breath mustering up the courage to speak and asked, “Dean…you sure you wanna do this?” hesitation permeating her voice. And it was then that she noticed his chest rising and falling with his heavy breath and the predatory look in his eyes.


	20. Chapter 20

  
Author's notes: Here's a new chapter...sorry so much for the delay and hope you're still reading and enjoying my fic! Pls review! Tks!  
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* * *

Sam and Dean stood completely still, without uttering a word, their gazes locked for what felt like forever…until the blonde gave in to his needs, to his most primal urges. And before she knew it, he had her pinned against the wall and was getting down to business, his lips colliding against hers while his hands busied themselves with her perky mounds.

 

At first, Sam was surprised by Dean’s sudden move but after feeling his hips pressed against her body, sending shivers through every inch of her, she threw caution to the wind and quickly caught on with the program, responding to his advances just as passionately.

 

Their kiss was filled with need, and lust, and frustration, and love, their limbs wrapping around each other, their lips and tongues indulging in each other’s taste.

 

Dean was having the time of his life. He couldn’t believe this was ‘finally’ happening. It felt so amazing, so gloriously out of this world, his heart was beating so fast he could hear it pounding in his head and he even thought it would give out any second. Geez, he wanted Sam real bad, like right now! His downstairs brain was screaming volumes at him and then, somehow, some sense got into him: Sam was ‘technically’ a virgin, meaning he couldn’t drag her to bed and have his way with her hard and fast –just like he wanted! At least not without hurting her, and he so didn’t want that! This was about Sam. He had to make sure it was good, ‘real’ good for her. After all, first times only happened once. Fine, ‘twice’ in Sam’s case, but still.

 

Besides, it wasn’t like he wouldn’t reap the rewards for all his patience and hard work. He’d make it really good for Sammy, he’d work real hard, resort to every single trick he’d learned in his life and make sure it was the most mind-blowing sex she’d ever had. He’d make it so damn good for her, he’d make her enjoy it so much, that she’d crave for it to the point of becoming addicted to it…and to ‘him’.

 

He knew it wouldn’t be easy –hell, that was the understatement of the century!– but it was the smartest thing to do. So, he focused and, resorting to all of his self-control, he parted the kiss. She frowned, confused, wondering what had gotten into him, and when she tried to resume their kiss and the blonde stopped her, well, she was downright scared.

 

“What’s wrong, Dean? Don’t you like it? Just tell me how you want it and I’ll do it,” she said, fear permeating her voice.

 

“Hush, princess. Nothing’s wrong,” he replied, lovingly cupping her face and smiling, doing his best to reassure her. “I was just thinking that it might be better to take it slow.”

 

“Take it slow?” she echoed.

 

“Yeah, let’s take it slow…I want it to last…I wanna savor the moment. I wanna taste ‘you’ nice and slow…No need to rush.”

 

“O-okay.” 

 

“See, just like a good meal,” he explained. “You’re not a cheeseburger I’d normally wolf down on in under a minute. No sir. You’re more like a juicy, really delicious steak…so tender I can feel it practically melting on my tongue.”

 

She nodded, understanding what Dean meant and fully agreeing with him. He was right. It was their first time together –the first of many!– and with her being a virgin and all, it was better to take it slow. True, she knew the mechaniques of sex. Actually, she know much more than that. She’d had sex countless times back when she was boy!Sam. She knew what sex felt like, what it smelt like, what it tasted like…but deep down she wasn’t so sure if it’d be exactly the same now that she was a woman.

 

For starters, she knew it’d hurt –at least at first– and she wasn’t sure how to exactly go about it. So, she concluded it was better to leave it all in Dean’s expert hands.

 

They started kissing again, but this time it was slow and gentle. Dean swiftly glided his fingers down Sam’s cheeks and neck, feather-like touches that were almost ethereal…and Sam simply loved it! This was Dean showing her nothing but love and although she knew it was wrong, the only word that came close to describing it was ‘perfection’. It all felt so wonderful, so perfect, so right, that the small voice inside her head telling her how wrong all this was, that this was her ‘brother’ for crying out loud, was silenced for good.

 

She finally allowed herself to enjoy Dean’s kisses when she felt his hands stroking her hair. At first, it was soothing and gentle but his fingers soon began threading her waves and he firmly grabbed a handful of the locks at the back of her head and pulled gently. It didn’t hurt. He was being careful –he had no intention whatsoever of hurting her!– and was actually taking control while his kisses became more and more intense.

 

She felt his hands running through her hair, hesitantly at first either for fear of pulling too hard and hurting her or just plain nervousness, but then his movements became more confident and his fingers tangled themselves in that dark chocolate sea.

 

Dean was busy frenching her neck and breathing in her scent when he heard Sam giggling. He then stopped kissing her and looked into her eyes.

 

“What’s so funny?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Oh, come on, princess. What is it?” he insisted, this time leaving a trail of soft kisses on her lips and cheeks.

 

They locked gazes and Sam asked smiling playfully, “What is it with you and my hair?”

 

“I don’t know,” he replied shrugging, “I just ‘love’ your hair…It’s so soft, so silky in my hands I can’t wait to find out what it feels like on my body…Guess it’ll be like a real soft caress…And it’s not just how it feels…It smells amazing too…like some intoxicating fragrance.”

 

Sam listened to Dean attentively, the entire time the blonde stroking her back and head as his fingers thread through her thick mane, and she felt impossibly aroused. It was funny, though, for she would have never imagined he could be so seductive…just with his words. She knew he was awesome in the sack and a fantastic kisser –all the women who’d been with him had clearly been left wanting for more– but she never thought he could be so articulate when it came to sex as well. Not that she didn’t like it, on the contrary, but she couldn’t help feeling a little jealous wondering how many times he’d used those same lines before.

 

“You really know to get a woman in the mood, don’t you?” she said, trying to mask her jealousy and failing despite her efforts.

 

Dean noticed the jealousy in her voice and felt secretly proud. Sam was jealous of the women he’d slept with? Wow! that was…awesome! Kind of selfish on his part but awesome anyways.

 

Yet, he didn’t utter a word. He simply smirked, licked his lips and proceeded to kiss the brunette. It was a long, deep kiss, which left both of them out of breath…and wanting for more.

 

Making out was good –actually, it was ‘amazing’- but Sam’s growing desire soon became more demanding, almost overwhelming, and the brunette began unbuttoning Dean’s shirt. He looked at her small hands swiftly undoing the buttons on his shirt and then shifting south towards his belt.

 

“Good! She’s ready!” he thought, mimicking her movements and proceeding to undo her belt and zipper.

 

She was so turned on her breasts were quickly rising and falling with her uneven breaths as she removed his clothes, practically tearing them apart in the process, while she kissed him desperately. Dean laughed lightly and gently stopped her.

 

“Easy tiger!” he said, and thought “Wow! Who knew? Sweet Sammy’s an amazon in the sack! Man, I’m ‘so’ gonna enjoy this!”

 

“Erm…sorry…too fast, right?” she asked hesitantly and somewhat embarrassed.

 

He then stroked her cheek lovingly and explained, “It’s fine…but it’ll be even better if we don’t rush it…I want it to be perfect.” And he thought “absolutely perfect for you, Sammy,” but he didn’t voice those words, choosing to leave them for himself…at least for the time being.

 

She nodded and let him take the lead again. He slowly and skillfully removed the rest of his and her garments, taking his time and enjoying the effect Sam’s growing arousal was having on her: the heavy breath, the parted lips, the half-lidded eyes…she looked hotter than ever!

 

It only took him a few minutes to have them both naked, but it felt much longer to the brunette, more like forever! And yet, when she found herself standing before him, all their clothes discarded on the floor, she couldn’t help feeling completely exposed and instinctively tried to cover herself with her hands.

 

Dean instantly perceived her uneasiness and was amused by the sudden change in her attitude. In under a second she’d gone from a sexually aggressive and lustful woman to pretty much a blushing virgin!

 

“Oh, yeah! I’m ‘so’ gonna enjoy this!!!” he thought again, but instead he said, gently pushing her arms away, “Please, Sammy…I wanna see you.”

 

The brunette didn’t utter a word, and simply let her arms drop, allowing him to indulge in the vision before him. Dean stared at her hungrily. He looked up and down at her taking in every detail: the soft curve of her full breasts, the slender hips and waist, the shapely legs and those dark chocolate waves framing that sweet and innocent-looking face.

 

“Geez, Sammy…You’re…’perfect’,” he said and soon noticed her vivid red cheeks and wide eyes.

 

He shifted his eyes in the direction Sam was staring and immediately caught sight of his fully erect member.

 

“C’mon, Sammy, it’s not like you’ve never seen a hard-on before,” he commented slightly amused, grinning and raising an eyebrow.

 

His words got her out of her trance almost instantly. 

 

“Yeah, I know. It’s just that it’s…” she began saying, then paused for a moment and thought, “…damn impressive,” but said instead, “…a different perspective,” all the while thinking, “yeah, Sam, a freaking ‘impressive’ perspective.” 

 

She didn’t say any of that out loud, though, knowing that it’d give the blonde good reason to brag pretty much…’forever’.

 

He saw her nervously staring at his shaft and swallowing hard. Okay, so far everything had gone smoothly. She knew exactly what sex was all about but now that she was on the receiving end, well, it was only natural that she would be nervous. So, Dean took her hand and led her to his bed.

 

“Lie down, Sammy,” he whispered in her ear.

 

She complied without saying a word and he quickly joined her, lying beside her. He started kissing her and caressing her naked body tenderly. It wasn’t wild or lustful, on the contrary, it was sweet…’romantic’. He was making it romantic for her, his fingers were ghosting her skin and his kisses could only be described as chaste. But then, he noticed that even though Sam was kissing him back, she was definitely shaking and her legs and arms were pressed together. He then broke the kiss, stroked her cheek, smiling, and quickly assessed her demeanor. And he came to the conclusion that Sam was downright scared.

 

Okay, Sam was scared and he thought perhaps he should stop, but he knew that wasn’t an option at the moment, not the way he was feeling. Besides, he knew Sam wanted it just as bad as he wanted it so he decided to reassure her. He resumed his kisses and gently stroked her hair, burying his face in it and breathing in deeply, taking in her fragrance, and after a while he whispered in her ear, “You okay, Sammy?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You sure.”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

Sam was trying hard to hide it all but her trembling voice instantly gave her away and as if that wasn’t proof enough of her increasing fear, her stiff body cried it out loud. Naturally, none of those signs would ever go unnoticed to such an experienced lover as Dean Winchester, and he immediately realized he’d have to help Sam relax, put aside all of her fears and focus on her own pleasure.

 

“Okay, princess,” was all he said as he slowly set his plan in motion.

 

He drew his lips away from hers and redirected them to her neck, where they sought comfort in her silky skin. His initial feather-like pecks soon gave way to more intense kisses and he started drawing a wet trail on her neck with his expert tongue before proceeding to suckle and nibble on the pale velvety surface her skin was. He busied himself with her neck until it started sporting a vivid shade of red, the skin becoming so sensitive that it left the brunette shivering.

 

He then went on to kiss his way down to her breasts –one of his favorite spots if you asked him!– and lazily kissed the perky mounds. He did it slowly, taking his time to explore every single inch of them. He started by kissing the valley between them, letting his tongue idly ran along it while his hands massaged the round hills to each side.

 

 

Then, his mouth changed course and slowly climbed to the top, where it was met by her pinkish nipple. He gave it long playful licks at first but after a while he opened his mouth wide and sank into the warm flesh, taking in as much as he could and sucking it…hard. He kept at it, his tongue circling the small bundle in the middle followed by light, careful bites and then applying the soothing touch of his lips.

 

He soon felt her breath growing uneven, her heart racing out of control, all of her body trembling under him, a mix of arousal and her waning fear. He continued with his ministrations until the once soft pinkish bundle crowning her mound turned into a slick, shiny and hard pebble, now sporting an intense shade of red. He smiled to himself, pleased with the effect he had on her, and applied the same treatment to the other mound.

 

Sam couldn’t understand a single thing that was happening to her. Okay, she was scared. She loved Dean, she ‘wanted’ Dean, but still she couldn’t help being a little…afraid. She’d seen his erection and, boy, the dude was big! She was pretty sure having such a large thing breaching into her body was gonna hurt like hell! There was no doubt. 

 

However, she didn’t want to let Dean know. He’d probably mock her endlessly for being a wuss –women took it on a regular basis without complaining much, right?– or worse still, he’d back out altogether. No, there was no way she’d let that happen, not after all she’d been through. She’d suck it up and hide it all. Besides, it couldn’t be that bad. It’d hurt once and then it’d get better and better. Yeah, she could take it. She was a hunter for goodness sake and she’d been through a lot worse.

 

Dean kissed, licked and stroked her breasts at pleasure, taking his time to explore the perky mounds until his curiosity for that particular spot was sated and he directed his attention further down her body. He softly kissed her lower ribs and her taut abdomen, his tongue lazily circling her navel as he glided her sides with his fingers. She slowly began tasting salty to him, tiny drops of sweat beginning to surface all over her skin in response to his expert touches. 

 

He lifted his eyes off her stomach for a moment and saw her fisting the sheets and breathing heavier and heavier by the second. He sank back into her belly and frenched it, smiling to himself, still unable to believe this was ‘finally’ happening.


	21. Chapter 21

  
Author's notes: Hi, everyone! Here's a new chapter. Sorry for taking this long to post but a lot is going on in RL and I don't have the time to sit down and write as often as I'd like to. Anyway, I do promise I'll try to do better!

Also, thanks for all the nice reviews, and people tracking and favoriting my fic. You all really encourage me to keep going...  
And those of you who are hating the story and keep complaining, well, guys, I'm really sorry you're not enjoying it...but then you can simply quit, I mean, nobody's forcing you to read, right? ;P  
Just, please no flaming!  
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* * *

Dean’s kisses became more intense as his lips made their way down to Sam’s most sensitive spot. He stared at it for a while and seeing she’d recently shaved, he couldn’t help smirking, knowing how extra sensitive her skin would be. He then spread her legs wide open and nestled his head between them, immediately proceeding to give long lazy licks to the area and just like he’d expected, Sam was gasping and moaning in no time. That was definitely a plus about virgins if you asked him. If you played your cards right, if you were patient and touched them in all the right places then there was no doubt you’d make them go wild…and they’d be more than willing to reciprocate!

 

He grazed his nose against her mound and took a deep breath. The scent of arousal enveloping her sex as so aphrodisiac it had him gasping and panting for air in no time and desperately aching for her. He took a few more deep breaths, her fragrance filling him completely, and he became aware almost instantly of his own need, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back much longer.

 

Sam felt his tongue delving inside her tight channel, snaking and exploring her at pleasure, literally caressing her and she soon started shaking, almost on edge, overwhelmed by the effect his expert touch had on her. Dean was driving her crazy. Everything was so intense she wanted it to stop and to go on, all at the same time. And then, all of a sudden, she felt him retreating, taking a step back away from her.

 

She looked straight at him and frowned.

 

“What are doing, Dean? Why did you-?” she began asking but was cut short by the blonde.

 

“Hush, Sammy, it’s okay. Just get over here,” he replied stretching out his hand and helping her stand.

 

Her legs were shaky and she almost lost her balance when she stood up, but he instantly threw his arms around her and held her tight.

 

“Dean? What are you doing?” she asked again, confused.

 

She had no idea why he’d stopped making love to her. Everything was perfect so why was he pulling away? She was clueless and then she feared the worst: he’d come to his senses and realized how sick and twisted she was.

 

“You don’t wanna?” she insisted, her eyes now watery. Okay, she was officially freaking out now because if he said no, she was sure she’d die of a broken heart right there on the spot.

 

Luckily, he seemed to guess what was going through her mind and quickly explained, “Hey…hey, Sammy? Everything’s okay, baby, I just want you to sit over there on the table.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

He then kissed her gently and whispered in her ear reassuringly, “Just do as I say…It’ll be great…I promise.”

 

On hearing the need in his voice and seeing the lust in his eyes, she calmed down and, for once, she did as she was told.

 

He walked her to the table opposite the bed and helped her sit on it. She let him guide her all along and felt her entire body trembling with her arousal. He quickly went through his discarded jacket and found a condom in the right pocket, which he proceeded to put on at amazing speed.

When he turned around to face her, what he saw left him speechless. She was sitting upright on the table, her head resting against the wall, her arms to both sides as her hands firmly gripping the edge of the table, her breasts rising and falling with her heavy breath, and her legs…her legs were spread wide open, leaving her core fully exposed to him. He stared at the reddened folds and the shiny translucent substance slowly pooling at her opening. He swallowed and felt his length twitch in anticipation realizing she was just as desperate, just as lustful and heady for him as he was for her.

 

Sam then opened her half-lidded eyes and focused on the blonde, who was standing in the middle of the room, completely frozen.

 

“Dean…c’mon…get over here already!” she demanded, need permeating her voice.

 

The blonde didn’t say a word. He simply walked toward her and kissed her deeply in response while his hands roamed her smooth skin at pleasure. His hands and fingers touched and explored every inch of her, gently caressing her taut belly and firmly grabbing her curves. Dean still couldn’t believe Sam was finally his. The whole experience was turning out to be breath-taking and despite how much he was enjoying the foreplay, he knew how badly he wanted her and that he couldn’t hold himself back any longer.

 

He then cupped her face, looked into her eyes, and heard his own voice saying, “I love you, Sammy,” as if he was in some sort ot trance, which got him a brilliant smile from the brunette and the four words that he’d be longing to hear for so very long, “I love you too.”

 

He began grazing her core with his member, smearing the tip with her slick juices. The slow movements soon turned into rubbing and the resulting friction made the brunette even more desperate for him, and she spread her legs widely.

 

“I’m…ready…Dean…please…I need you!” she begged, gasping the words out.

 

Dean smiled playfully and whispered against her skin, “Really? Uh…you want me real bad, don’t you?”

 

Sam needed him, she wanted him, and the feeling that instantly spread all over him was simply intoxicating. She nodded frantically, drawing her body closer to him, both begging and demanding, “C’mon, Dean!...Do me already!”

 

He looked up and down at her carefully examining her and he instantly realized she was so turned on, so lustful, she was almost shivering with desire. The blonde smiled to himself and placed his hands on her waist keeping her close to him but only enough to let his length ghost her core. He watched her enjoying every single second, every feather-like touch, and he quickly noticed that having such power over the brunette was the most overwhelming feeling ever…knowing that Sam needed him and wanted him this bad was like being high.

 

“And what if I don’t, Sammy?” he asked.

 

She opened her eyes wide, unable to believe her own ears, and angrily retorted, “Then you’d better sleep with one eye open ‘cause I swear the second you let your guard down I’m totally jumping your bones!”

 

He laughed loudly on hearing her words. Sam’s response didn’t come close to anything he imagined she’d ever say, and the way she’d put it as well as the look on her face had been priceless.

 

“Okay, enough with the foreplay…enough with the ‘torture’,” he thought. He’d put up with a lot during the last couple of months –everyone ogling her, and then that stupid Goth guy, and then Justin! He was entitled to a little payback, especially after being a freaking saint around Sam for so long, but he didn’t want to upset her…not now of all things! So, he smiled sweetly at her and gently kissed her lips.

 

“Please…Dean…can’t wait anymore…please,” she begged over and over again in between kisses.

 

And that was it. After all, he’d never been able to say no to his Sammy. He locked gazes with her and placed his hands on her hips firmly in order to keep her steady as he aimed at her opening with his manhood and slowly began pulling in. This wasn’t the way he wanted things to go, though. Truth be told, he wanted nothing but to pound Sam, nail her to the wall, but with the brunette being a virgin, it wasn’t the best of ideas…actually, it was a very a bad idea. So, he decided to keep it gentle and romantic knowing there’d be plenty of time to go a little bit wild, a little bit rough even, once she was more experienced.

 

Sam felt his member distinctively rubbing and then pressing against her core before slowly pulling inside her. She understood the mechaniques of what was going on, and yet she couldn’t help feeling completely overwhelmed by it all. Suddenly, she found herself gasping and throwing her head back as her body froze and went completely stiff.

 

“You okay, Sammy?” he asked, concern lacing his voice.

 

“Yeah,” she replied, gasping the word out, and then added, “…just…God…you’re…huge!”

 

She felt as if Dean was about to split her in half. She could feel something as hard as a rock –and impossibly big!– piercing through her body, and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to take it despite the fact he was moving at glacial speed. She didn’t say any of that out loud, though. Instead, she peeked down and found that only the tip was inside her, the rest of his shaft still outside and looking frighteningly long and thick.

 

Sam felt terror instantly taking over her. If just the head hurt this much, felt as if somebody was shoving up a bat inside her, then how on earth was she going to handle the rest of it? Her heart raced out of control as she wondered how women could deal with so much pain. It wasn’t that she didn’t know what it felt like to be in pain –the brunette had been hunting for years now and had had her fair share of woulds!– but this was far worse than anything she’d ever experienced before…it was sheer agony.

 

She didn’t want to go on. Actually, she wanted to stop right that very second, but then how would Dean take it? She knew she only had to say the word and the blonde would stop immediately without protesting, but she also knew that it would crush him, that he’d never touch her ever again, and that he’d feel miserable and guilty for hurting her. No, she wasn’t going to allow any of that. There was absolutely no way whatsoever she’d let him beat himself up for any of this. She was the only one to be blamed for it. She’d flirted shamelessly with Justin and led him on before Dean’s very eyes in order to spark some reaction from the blonde. Her plan had worked and she’d gotten what she’d wished for and now she was going to suck it up.

 

So, she squeezed her eyes and mouth shut and turned her head away, knowing that if he saw it, he’d see her pain in no time, and did her best to keep it together all the while repeating a silent prayer inside her head, “Oh, God, please let it be over soon!”

 

The blonde instantly noticed the sudden change in the brunette: she’d tensed up and was refusing to make eye-contact with him. It became obvious to him that she was in pain and didn’t want to show it, didn’t want him to see it. Yet, he knew there was no way around it. This was her first time and she’d be in some pain, but then realizing that he was the one hurting her made him feel like scum. He even considered stopping altogether and let go of her –despite the dude’s protests! But then, on second thought, he concluded that this was just one more thing they’d have to go through…and they’d do it together.

 

He threw his arms around her and whispered in her ear “I love you, Sammy…Love you so much,” thinking “better get it over with,” and he then proceeded to bury himself in her to the tilt in a single and yet gentle motion.

 

Sam opened her eyes wide and cried out in response as matching tears rolled down her cheeks. He held her tight, real close to him, and remained still until she stopped shaking. He then began pulling out very slowly and carefully till only the tip was left inside. He looked down and saw his throbbing length smeared with her blood.

 

She was still frozen, breathing raggedly and holding on to the table for dear life, and it was killing Dean. He knew he was on the large side and Sam had turned out to be particularly tight, hence, it was hurting like hell.

 

“Hey, Sammy…you okay?” he asked looking into her eyes.

 

“S-sure,” she replied with a weak smile and trembling voice.

 

It was obvious that Sam was anything but ‘okay’ so Dean cupped her face, wiped her tears away with his thumbs and kissed her lips gently. He then wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on the small of her neck, rubbing soothing circles on her back, and sweetly asked, “Would you hold me back…please?”

 

“Okay,” she answered, letting go of the table and throwing her arms around him.

 

He noticed her hesitant and shaky movements and reassured her, “It’s okay, Sammy. I’ve got you,” as he carefully started moving and pulling farther inside her.

 

She couldn’t help letting go of a whimper and digging her nails on his back, but it made no difference as the blonde continued pulling in. Dean kept a slow and steady pace –clearly he was going gentle on her- yet the pain was unbearable. Sam felt something impossibly hard and gigantic ripping her apart from her very core. The agony was such she could barely breathe, let alone move, and then something completely unexpected happened. All of a sudden, a rather pleasant sensation slowly began building between her legs and started spreading.

 

It was something Sam had never experienced before and it was growing in intensity by the second. She quickly realized that every time Dean moved, gently sliding in and out, his member rubbed against her lips and clit, the resulting friction stimulating the area. It was as if he was stroking her core with his shaft and the more he did it, the better it felt. Sam’s initial pain slowly started waning as pleasure replaced it and began hitting her entire body in increasing waves.

 

She felt the blonde all over her. His mouth on her neck, cheeks and lips, his hands roaming her body, his arms wrapped around her, his broad chest and shoulders blanketing her small frame, his member buried in her to the tilt…he was everywhere.

 

She felt lost in him and yet it was like being home…yes, it was just like being home.

 

Her whimpers soon turned into moans and her pained expression was altogether gone. The blonde, noticing all this, quickened the pace, unable to hold back any longer. His thrusts became increasingly powerful and, to Sam’s surprise, so did her pleasure. She even wondered how that was possible with her body literally trapped between Dean and the wall, close to getting crushed everytime he pounded into her.

 

And yet, it felt amazing. Actually, it was more than amazing. There were no words to describe how she felt. It was sheer ecstasy. And she didn’t know how it was possible, but it got more and more intense by the second. Rationally, she understood what was happening, her orgasm was building –her loud moans and cries were clear proof of it!- but it was significantly more intense than anything she’d ever experienced as boy!Sam!

 

Soon, her body went stiff, her heart racing out of control, her mind at a total standstill, uncapable of any kind of logical thinking, all sensations heightened until it all became too overwhelming, almost to the point of feeling she might die right there in Dean’s arms, and then, when it was too much to bear, she felt an amazing explosion inside her and suddenly darkness took over.

 

Dean felt Sam trembling in his arms and heard her moans and cries and immediately knew she was almost there. So far he’d been sweet and romantic, treated her gently, but the way she looked, head thrown back against the wall, half-lidded eyes, mouth wide-open, breasts quickly rising and falling as she gasped for air, and the way she felt, warm, curvy body pressed against his, a perfect fit, practically becoming one at their most sensitive and intimate places, her muscles spasming in tandem with his thrusts, taking him deeper inside her…well, it awoke something primal in him, raw lust and desire, and he began pounding into her desperately chasing his own orgasm finally fully realizing that Sam was his, that she was his for the taking, as he unknowingly uttered “mine…mine…mine” over and over again.

 

When Sam opened her eyes, she found Dean holding her tight, keeping her from falling. She was lying lim and boneless in his arms, still out of breath and semi-conscious. Not that he was in better shape either. He was still out of breath and rather weak from all the exertion, and was holding Sam with one arm while resting the other on the wall to keep them both steady. He then felt her stirring softly and locked gazes with her.

 

She was pretty worn out, there was no doubt, but she somehow managed to say, for lack of a better word, “that was…amazing!”

 

“Amazing?” the blonde echoed. “Not sure about that…more like mind-blowing I’d say.”

 

“Yeah…you’re right,” the brunette agreed looking at him with a dreamy gaze.

 

“…and it was only our first try,” he added smirking.

 

She didn’t say anything. She simply threw her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder enjoying their embrace. They remained still, stroking each other gently, absent-mindedly, without uttering a word.

 

They stayed like that for endless minutes and then the blonde broke the silence.

 

“Sammy?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Let’s go to bed.”

 

“Okay,” she said nodding and reluctantly untangling her limbs and letting go of the blonde.

 

She saw Dean stepping away from her and she made her way to the bed with still somewhat shaky legs, instantly letting her body drop on the mattress.

 

He was standing by the bed, discarding the used condom, when he saw Sam spread-eagled on the bed, naked, her hair on the pillow as a fan, and her breasts rising and falling with her even breath. It only took him a glance to make him hard again. In the past, he would have rushed to the bathroom, locked the door behind him, and taken care of it. But not anymore. Now he could have exactly what he wanted.

 

He went through his duffel and took out a fresh condom, which he put on in under a second. He then stared at Sam for a moment, who was lying still, her eyes closed, clearly dozing off, before joining her in bed, carefully nestling himself between her legs.

 

Sam was falling into the arms of Morpheus when she felt Dean on top of her, his lips pressing against hers. At first, he was gentle but soon became more demanding.

 

“What are you doing, Dean?” Sam asked with half-lidded eyes.

 

“What d’you think, Sammy?” he answered playfully, pressing his now raging erection against her core.

 

“Again?...Already?...But I’m kinda tired…Can’t we rest a bit first?” she asked.

 

Dean knew there was no way he’d be able to will his erection away, not with Sam –naked Sam!- in bed with him, and he begged, “Please, Sammy, I need you…now,” his voice laced with desire.

 

He locked gazes with the brunette and saw her hesitating. Evidently, she wanted him too, but, in honest truth, she looked worn out and he quickly realized he’d have to be more persuasive.

 

He then glided his hand down south until he reached her mound and started massaging it enthusiastically. Sam opened her mouth, apparently to protest, when the blonde’s lips literally collided against hers as his fingers, already slick with her juices, entered her and began moving in a hitherto motion. Sam was moaning in his mouth as he ravished it. His tongue darting inside the warm cavern mimicking the movements of his fingers.

 

Dean kept at it until his lungs, in serious need of oxygen, forced him to part the kiss. They were both gasping and panting for air, his fingers still buried in her, their eyes black with lust, and just like he’d expected, Sam caved.

 

“Fine…you can have your…way with me,” she said gasping the words out still out of breath and rolling her eyes, knowing there was no way she could say ‘no’ to him.

 

Dean smiled triumphantly and right then, something completely unexpected happened. His initially aggressive behavior was replaced by tenderness. Much to her surprise, he began kissing her, caressing her lovingly, literally worshipping every inch of her and Sam felt glad that she, for once, hadn’t put up a fight…and followed his lead.


	22. Chapter 22

It was late in the afternoon and Sam lay on her back, completely still, limp and boneless as a ragdoll, her breath slowly growing even, her body somewhat numb, which wasn’t surprising at all considering the sex marathon she’d just had with Dean!

 

Dean hadn’t left her alone –not even for one second!- and after their fourth time, she’d stopped counting! Not that she had any complaints –it’d been the most mindblowing sex ever!- but now she was so spent, so drained, that her brain was kind of numb as well.

 

“Wow…you’re God’s gift to women!” she uttered, staring at the ceiling absent-mindedly.

 

On hearing those words, he laughed loudly, feeling secretly proud of himself.

 

“Geez! Did I say that out loud?!” the brunette quickly asked, locking gazes with him and blushing lightly.

 

The blonde simply nodded and smiled at her in response while he threw an arm around her small frame and brought her closer to him, immediately proceeding to stroke her velvety skin.

 

“So…I guess it was good?” he whispered in her ear.

 

She smiled softly and replied, “It was awesome,” and then rolled over till she was facing him and kissed him tenderly.

 

He wrapped his arms around her in response, keeping her caged, and left a trail of chaste kisses on her lips and cheeks. Suddenly, she noticed they were tangled up in each other –yet again!- and found it surprising.

 

Funny, she thought, when they were brothers, when she was boy!Sam, they weren’t particularly touchy feely. It wasn’t that there was no physical contact whatsoever, but that only happened when they were hunting, or patching each other up, or the occasional hug when they were close to dying…Okay, they did touch –a lot!– but still, it was nothing like this.

 

No matter how astonishing it all seemed to Sam, it was pretty clear that Dean enjoyed cuddling and she, well, to put it mildly, she just loved it.

 

“What is it, princess?”

 

“Mmm? Nothing.”

 

“Come on…you’re obviously thinking about something.”

 

“Nothing in particular. Just that I really like it when you hold me.”

 

“You do?” he asked, tightening the embrace, “well, you’d better get used to it then, ‘cause from now on you’re gonna spend a whole lot of time in my arms!”

 

She didn’t say a word and smiled instead, her eyes filled with happiness and love. They kissed some more and then stayed still for a while, quietly enjoying each other, the blonde lazily ghosting her skin with his fingertips.

 

Dean was insanely happy –the big fat smile plastered across his face was clear proof of it!– and he then noticed that Sam was staring at the ceiling again, evidently thinking hard about something.

 

“Okay…what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

 

“Erm…nothing.”

 

“Come on, princess, it’s obvious that you’re thinking about something,” he insisted.

 

“It’s no big deal…It’s just that…erm…you know, just forget it.”

 

“Please, Sammy, we’ve been through this already…We both were miserable for months because we couldn’t talk and be honest, really honest with each other…So, come on, baby…spill.”

 

Sam looked at him, wide-eyed, unable to believe her own ears, and asked, “Okay…who are you and what have you done with Dean?”

 

He laughed loudly and replied, “Touché…but still that doesn’t make it any less true.”

 

Fine, Dean had a point. Not that she was willing to admit it, though, but he’d pretty much nailed it.

 

She then looked into his eyes and began explaining, “It’s just that I…I never thought you’d be…I actually thought you’d…”

 

Okay, it soon became obvious to her that it wouldn’t be easy to put it all into words. So, she took a deep breath and started over.

 

“I actually thought you’d be…wild…kind of rough even…you know…in the sack?...I never imagined, not in a million years, that you could be such a, erm, tender lover.”

 

Dean listened to her jaw-slacked. No one had ever called him that before. As a matter of fact, gentle and Dean Winchester didn’t exactly go hand in hand if you asked him! True, he’d gone easy on Sam, been extremely careful for fear of hurting her or freaking her out, but now he feared he’d failed to fully, well, satisfy her.

 

Quite frankly, San had expected him to be much more aggressive, more commanding, sort of like when they were hunting. She’d thought he’d literally throw her on the bed and jump her bones! It made perfect sense to her. After all, Dean was strong, wild and downright bossy! A hardened hunter, one of the best she’d ever known. And she assumed he’d be the same way between the sheets. And now, here she was, seeing a whole new side of him that left her speechless.

 

And yet, deep down, Sam had always known Dean was a sweet, caring guy, a big softie, actually. All she had to do was think of all the times she’d been sick and how lovingly he’d always taken care of her…even though he was a kid himself. And the way he’d made love to her confirmed it all. His gentleness had been there all along. He’d worshipped every single inch of her body and although it’d been amazing, a dream come true, she couldn’t help feeling jealous. She thought of all the women he’d slept with – the endless list of women he’d slept with!- and she wondered if he’d treated them in the same way, if he’d shown them the same gentleness, the same…love.

 

She wouldn’t admit it, but it pissed her off, big time! She knew she had no right to be jealous, it was completely irrational, but still she couldn’t help it. She began picturing Dean with some hottie, making love to her, worshipping the girl in exactly the same way he’d loved her and worshipped her…and Sam soon felt her blood boiling and her jealousy increasing by the second, getting out of control.

 

The blonde took a deep breath and uttered, “Okay…so I’m a gentle lover…but it wasn’t that bad…was it?”

 

He smirked, pretending to be joking about it, pretending to find it insanely funny –typical Dean’s defense mechanism– as he readied himself for the heavy blow to his manhood…and not of the fun kind!

 

His question got Sam out of her musings instantly. She looked straight into his eyes and what she saw left her astounded. Was Dean second-guessing his own skills in bed? Was he being…insecure? She was astonished…and feeling terribly ashamed and guilty. He’d done everything in his power to please her, he’d taken her to heaven –repeatedly!– and here she was being selfish and feeling stupidly jealous of the women from his past instead of focusing on him. Evidently, something was seriously wrong with her.

 

Okay, so he needed a little reassurance…and she was more than willing to do anything for him. So, she cupped his face and left a trail of soft kisses on his cheeks and lips.

 

“I told you alredy,” she whispered against his golden skin in between kisses, “it was awesome!”

 

“Okay,” was all the blonde said.

 

Evidently, he didn’t actually believe her words so the brunette stroked his face gently, lovingly, and casually commented, “You know, they feel pretty…different, though,” trying to get his mind off it.

 

“What d’you mean?”

 

“Orgasms,” she said bluntly.

 

“Huh…different how?”

 

“They’re just as intense…but they kinda last longer…much much longer!”

 

“Really?” he asked, honestly curious.

 

“Oh, yeah!...Actually, there was one in particular…Geez! I thought my heart would give out!” she said excitedly, and then added, “and then there’s the fact that women can climax over and over again…no recovery time, you know?...Well, not that it takes you long to recover!” she pointed out remembering how fast Dean had been ready to go at it again, how a barely 10-minute break had been enough for the blonde.

 

“Wow!...That good, huh?”

 

“You’ve no idea!” she stated, and she meant it. “Seriously, I wonder how women manage without doing it 24/7!...especially with such a skilled lover as yourself…Takes a hell of a lot of self-control, I guess.”

 

Dean looked at her wide-eyed, grinning brilliantly, clearly feeling a lot better about himself. But then why shouldn’t he? Evidently, Sam had had a great time.

 

He then smirked playfully and lustfully and said, “Well, baby, no need for self-control…not when I’m around!”

 

And he began kissing her deeply, his hands roaming her body, finally believing her words and realizing that, at least for once, he, they, had a shot at happiness.


End file.
